it's official. i'm crazy.
title: NA NA NA NA
pairing: sasuke/sakura
summary: “SHAWTY’S LIKE A MELODY IN MY HEAD THAT I CAN’T KEEP OUT, GOT ME SINGING LIKE-c’mon, Sasuke-kun!”
notes: because the blanket on ffn writes too many fics like this. PURE CRACK. DON’T BLAME ME IF WHAT’S LEFT OF YOUR SANITY IS LOST.
“HELLO HELLO BABY, HOW ARE YOU TONIGHT?”
“…Sakura.”
“HEY, SO LIKE, WHERE ARE YOU?”
“Home. In bed. As most people are at two in the morning.”
“SILLY SASUCAKES, WHY WOULD YOU EVEN BE SLEEPING ON A FRIDAY NIGHT? I’M GOING TO HAVE A THREESOME WITH INO AND SHIKAMARU-YOU WANNA COME ALONG? OH, AND INVITE NARUTO TOO. HE’S ACTUALLY PRETTY HOT UNDERNEATH ALL OF THOSE HIDEOUS CLOTHES.”
“…Where are you? I’ll come pick you up.”
“WHY? SCARED THAT I’LL THINK THEY’RE BETTER IN BED THAN YOU?”
“No, because the chances of Ino carrying STDs is very high, which means that they’ve also probably been transferred to Shikamaru ten times over.”
“ARE YOU CALLING MY BEST FRIEND A-hic-A SLUT? THAT’S A REALLY BITCH THING TO SAY, SASUKE-KUN.”
“You need to stop yelling. Where are you?”
“WHY, SO YOU CAN COME AND KIDNAP ME?”
“I’m your boyfriend, Sakura. And I’m not going to respond to you until you speak with an inside voice.”
“YEAH, SO WHEN I GO MISSING AND GET KILLED AND RAPED BY SOME NECROPHILIAC, YOU WON’T BE TO BLAME? I’M NOT GOING TO LET YOU DO THAT.”
“…”
“…So, are you up for that threesome?”
“What? I can’t hear you.”
“I SAID, ARE YOU UP FOR THAT THREESOME?”
“Maybe another night, when you’re sober.”
“BUT EVERYTHING’S SO MUCH MORE FUN WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK, SASUKE-KUUUN.”
“But if you’re drunk, you won’t remember how amazing it was the next morning. Trust me, Sakura. Where are you? I’ll come pick you up.”
“Only if you-hic-sing for me, babycakes!”
“Later. Give me the address.”
“No! Now!”
“…You know I don’t sing, Sakura.”
“Now!”
“I really don’t have the patience for this-”
“SHAWTY’S LIKE A MELODY IN MY HEAD THAT I CAN’T KEEP OUT, GOT ME SINGING LIKE-c’mon, Sasuke-kun!”
“…Na, na, na, na, everyday…”
“IT’S LIKE MY IPOD’S STUDY ON REPLAY!”
“Replay…”
“Aw! I love you, Sasucakes!”
“Right. Address?”
“I’ll text it to you!”
“Alright. Don’t go anywhere. Stay away from the suspicious men by the dumpster.”
“Only-hic-only for you, Sasuke-kun.”
pairing: sasuke/sakura
summary: “SHAWTY’S LIKE A MELODY IN MY HEAD THAT I CAN’T KEEP OUT, GOT ME SINGING LIKE-c’mon, Sasuke-kun!”
notes: because the blanket on ffn writes too many fics like this. PURE CRACK. DON’T BLAME ME IF WHAT’S LEFT OF YOUR SANITY IS LOST.
“HELLO HELLO BABY, HOW ARE YOU TONIGHT?”
“…Sakura.”
“HEY, SO LIKE, WHERE ARE YOU?”
“Home. In bed. As most people are at two in the morning.”
“SILLY SASUCAKES, WHY WOULD YOU EVEN BE SLEEPING ON A FRIDAY NIGHT? I’M GOING TO HAVE A THREESOME WITH INO AND SHIKAMARU-YOU WANNA COME ALONG? OH, AND INVITE NARUTO TOO. HE’S ACTUALLY PRETTY HOT UNDERNEATH ALL OF THOSE HIDEOUS CLOTHES.”
“…Where are you? I’ll come pick you up.”
“WHY? SCARED THAT I’LL THINK THEY’RE BETTER IN BED THAN YOU?”
“No, because the chances of Ino carrying STDs is very high, which means that they’ve also probably been transferred to Shikamaru ten times over.”
“ARE YOU CALLING MY BEST FRIEND A-hic-A SLUT? THAT’S A REALLY BITCH THING TO SAY, SASUKE-KUN.”
“You need to stop yelling. Where are you?”
“WHY, SO YOU CAN COME AND KIDNAP ME?”
“I’m your boyfriend, Sakura. And I’m not going to respond to you until you speak with an inside voice.”
“YEAH, SO WHEN I GO MISSING AND GET KILLED AND RAPED BY SOME NECROPHILIAC, YOU WON’T BE TO BLAME? I’M NOT GOING TO LET YOU DO THAT.”
“…”
“…So, are you up for that threesome?”
“What? I can’t hear you.”
“I SAID, ARE YOU UP FOR THAT THREESOME?”
“Maybe another night, when you’re sober.”
“BUT EVERYTHING’S SO MUCH MORE FUN WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK, SASUKE-KUUUN.”
“But if you’re drunk, you won’t remember how amazing it was the next morning. Trust me, Sakura. Where are you? I’ll come pick you up.”
“Only if you-hic-sing for me, babycakes!”
“Later. Give me the address.”
“No! Now!”
“…You know I don’t sing, Sakura.”
“Now!”
“I really don’t have the patience for this-”
“SHAWTY’S LIKE A MELODY IN MY HEAD THAT I CAN’T KEEP OUT, GOT ME SINGING LIKE-c’mon, Sasuke-kun!”
“…Na, na, na, na, everyday…”
“IT’S LIKE MY IPOD’S STUDY ON REPLAY!”
“Replay…”
“Aw! I love you, Sasucakes!”
“Right. Address?”
“I’ll text it to you!”
“Alright. Don’t go anywhere. Stay away from the suspicious men by the dumpster.”
“Only-hic-only for you, Sasuke-kun.”