(no subject)
So Grant came over today. And I was... annoyed. For some reason any possibility of things changing in my life (like a relationship or something) scares me.
So I push people away. Make things unconfortable.. end the such.
He was talking about how he did reasearch and studied anorexia.
And I kind of just froze.
Just little comments make me pull away,
being with him scares me.
I can look at him and see that he will be something.
And then we got into a comversation about what celebrity we thought was attractive.
We were naming people,
and I mentioned people think i look like Kira Knightly and Natlie Portman.
And he said she (Kira) is the most attractive person ever.
And I was hoping he said she was too skinny or something.
I was begging for him to give me someting.
And he said he did research about how people thought she had an Eating Disorder.
And he said its not possible. Her body is amazing blah blahh blahhhhjdf
And I just wanted to sit down.
Not breath not eat.
Back away.
I wanted to scream
You fuck head I HAVE AN EATING DISORDER.
I hate people knowing.
So I wont say a word.
So I push people away. Make things unconfortable.. end the such.
He was talking about how he did reasearch and studied anorexia.
And I kind of just froze.
Just little comments make me pull away,
being with him scares me.
I can look at him and see that he will be something.
And then we got into a comversation about what celebrity we thought was attractive.
We were naming people,
and I mentioned people think i look like Kira Knightly and Natlie Portman.
And he said she (Kira) is the most attractive person ever.
And I was hoping he said she was too skinny or something.
I was begging for him to give me someting.
And he said he did research about how people thought she had an Eating Disorder.
And he said its not possible. Her body is amazing blah blahh blahhhhjdf
And I just wanted to sit down.
Not breath not eat.
Back away.
I wanted to scream
You fuck head I HAVE AN EATING DISORDER.
I hate people knowing.
So I wont say a word.