(no subject)
Maybe ya'll have noticed, but I only write in here when I'm all depressed and shit. That sucks! Check my mysapce if you want to see the normal side of me. But, I dont know. I'm graduating tomarrow, that's a fucking SCARY thought. Forreal. Life without school everday? What the hell is that going to be like!? I dont know what I'm going to do! I dont know. I'm proud of being on honor roll all this year. It was easy. I'm begining to get the point in my relationship where I dont feel at all secure with it. It has been freaking me out. Arguing. Always my fault. Doesnt listen to anything I say. "blah blah story about my past" I listen, infact I react to it because I am listening so well, and sometimes the stories are good, then I say a story and it is... "oh" or maybe not even a response. I feel invisible. Is this the end? I dont want it to be but it sure as hell feels like it. I'm getting disgusted with the whole situation and it is making me feel sick. I definately wont be sleeping tonight, eventhough I truly want to. I didnt sleep at all last night, and I truly wanted to also. Ugh. Unclear future in so many ways, scares the hell out of me. I talked to my friend Jamie and he made me feel better about graduating, because he was in the same spot as me. He said the best thing I can do is keep myself busy and keep my life moving. I agree with that and I appreciated his input. In the mean time, I have to know what to do to waste time... I dont think I'll be gettin a call. Even if I do I'm not going to pick up. I just dont want to. I feel like shit. I'm nervous. I'm having EXTREME anxiety. What happened to confiding in people and shit? It's always people confiding in me, which I dont have aproblem with because I'm good at it and I like helping people feel better as much as possible. I saw a crazy accident today. Allie, her boyfriend Pete, and I were in his eclipse allie was driving it and I was sitting shotty and it was CRAZY. We were going down the road, and on the other side was this black explorer SUV dealy, we heard tires screeching for about 20 feet and then the car FLIPPED OVER skidded on the roof for like 6 feet then flipped over on the tires again. We straight turned around and like saw what was up and the girl was fine but she was in HELLA shock, and had a gash just below her elbow. I mean goddamn she flipped over! There was glass EVERYWHERE! She was EXTREMELY fortunate. I dont know. I'm going to try and find the nyquil and pass out so I'll get some sleep tonight.
--VIVA