maggot.
you ever get to the point where the bruises feel good? where you realize that you've sliced the crap out of yourself but you just don't care anymore? i'm starting to slip back to where i was a year ago. i don't think i want to be there. i'm sleepy all day, and then i can't sleep for shit at night. i'm starting to feel like i can no longer relate to anyone else, and like all conversation is pointless. could you imagine if i ever actually shut the fuck up? you wouldn't know what to do would you? i'm almost to the point of sewing my lips shut, just to save the world my pointless ramblings. every day i get comments for talking about things that no one gives a shit about. people tell me to be happy, then tell me to shut up when i voice the few things and people that make me truely happy. you want to know, what right now, makes me feel good? here ya go.
my father
James
Sovus Radio and their quest for lollapalooza
Leslie's song 'sick'
that's about it. i'm tired of thinking about my life. where it's been, where i'm going. i'm tired of it. i'm tired of hearing that i need to get my GED. i know, okay? i fucking know. telling me constantly isn't going to give me the ability to shit the money and transportation. i'm to the point now that i'd rather just sit in my room and wither away aimlessly. my artistic ability has never been great but it's like it's slipping. i discovered tonight that when i'm in this depressed state of mind i can no longer draw the female human body. sad. then i see Brian's artwork and that kills me, because for the past going on 6 years i've looked up to him, and yet i'm nowhere near anywhere he's been. he could have done the shit i do when he was in pampers for christ's sake.
you know what i'm tired of? i'm tired of blue eyed boys. seems i only find myself attracted to the blue eyed males. long hair, short hair, blonde, brunette, red head, it matters not. the skinny pretty boys with the gorgeous blue eyes just make me swoon. it's useless though. i let myself go. i killed my outlook on life far too early, and made the mistake of following in my mother's footsteps, and now i'm likely never going to be physically appealing. you can tell me you think i'm pretty until you're blue in the face, i doubt i'll ever really see it.
i'm ready to get out of Florida. i hate it. HATE. we want to move to Garden City South Carolina. i'm beginning to like the idea more and more now that i'm finding music up there tends to remind me more of Atlanta. where as i think i'd love to live in Georgia again, i doubt it would ever really be the same. people change, places change. the city will always hold my heart, but i want to try something else and see if it works, you know?
anyway... my brain is starting to fizzle out. it's 12:42 a, and i'm starting to fade. i suppose i'm going to go doctor my leg (i have a wound of unknown origin) and lie down. hope all is well.
please go vote for sovus radio http://www.freshtracksmusic.com/lolla2006/showartist.aspx?aid=50933&sgn=Indie+Rock
and don't forget to check out Leslie.
http://www.myspace.com/leslierock
http://www.lesliemusic.com/
they're now up with WAS, and Sovus Radio on my list.
my father
James
Sovus Radio and their quest for lollapalooza
Leslie's song 'sick'
that's about it. i'm tired of thinking about my life. where it's been, where i'm going. i'm tired of it. i'm tired of hearing that i need to get my GED. i know, okay? i fucking know. telling me constantly isn't going to give me the ability to shit the money and transportation. i'm to the point now that i'd rather just sit in my room and wither away aimlessly. my artistic ability has never been great but it's like it's slipping. i discovered tonight that when i'm in this depressed state of mind i can no longer draw the female human body. sad. then i see Brian's artwork and that kills me, because for the past going on 6 years i've looked up to him, and yet i'm nowhere near anywhere he's been. he could have done the shit i do when he was in pampers for christ's sake.
you know what i'm tired of? i'm tired of blue eyed boys. seems i only find myself attracted to the blue eyed males. long hair, short hair, blonde, brunette, red head, it matters not. the skinny pretty boys with the gorgeous blue eyes just make me swoon. it's useless though. i let myself go. i killed my outlook on life far too early, and made the mistake of following in my mother's footsteps, and now i'm likely never going to be physically appealing. you can tell me you think i'm pretty until you're blue in the face, i doubt i'll ever really see it.
i'm ready to get out of Florida. i hate it. HATE. we want to move to Garden City South Carolina. i'm beginning to like the idea more and more now that i'm finding music up there tends to remind me more of Atlanta. where as i think i'd love to live in Georgia again, i doubt it would ever really be the same. people change, places change. the city will always hold my heart, but i want to try something else and see if it works, you know?
anyway... my brain is starting to fizzle out. it's 12:42 a, and i'm starting to fade. i suppose i'm going to go doctor my leg (i have a wound of unknown origin) and lie down. hope all is well.
please go vote for sovus radio http://www.freshtracksmusic.com/lolla2006/showartist.aspx?aid=50933&sgn=Indie+Rock
and don't forget to check out Leslie.
http://www.myspace.com/leslierock
http://www.lesliemusic.com/
they're now up with WAS, and Sovus Radio on my list.