Warning mom, you will probably be sad after reading this lol

[xdarkxheavenx]

Today I almost cried in the car on the way to the mall. I was talking to Brian about things that are going on in his life and I related them to things that happend in my own. I told him that fighting with a close friend is hard enough, but fighting with a close friend who is not always in the best of health is something that shouldnt happen. I told him that a close friend of mine died b4 I could tell him that I was sorry for being mad at him and that I never ever want Brian to feel the way that I feel everyday of my life. Life is funny like that. You never ever know when its the last time you will see someone you care about. You never know what is going to happen from moment to moment, day to day. I sure as hell didnt expect my friend to go home one night and get killed by a jealous psychopath. I didnt expect the last thing I would say to my friend to be "Why don't you just leave because Im mad at you." I mean, I know that my friend forgives me and knows that I forgive him but it still hurts to know that I never got the chance to tell him to his face that I loved him and that nothing he did was worth a fight between us. Nothing should ever come between a friendship....a true friendship can withstand anything that comes its way. I hope that both Brian and his friend come around and become the best of friends again. Sorry for the rambling...Its just that time of year where I remember lots of things about my old friend. My birthday is on Tuesday...Ill be 21. I cant believe that its been that long since hes been gone.

I know that I said I wouldnt write anymore. But I cant help it. And Brian feels sad that no one on here updates anymore lol. So this little update was for you baby. lol. Love ya!