My life in a nutshell
Boys are so fucking confusing. Or maybe its really simple and i just look for more in depth messages... I can never tell. Life would be so much simpler if everyone just said what they really feel. It may be an awkward conversation at first, but at least you would know where you both stand. I know im dumb, but at least im honest. I would rather brave the "unwanted" conversation and maybe enjoy a few weeks of fun, rather than sit here wondering if i could have done more to get what i wanted. Balls out, i know where i stand, why cant you just be straight up with me?
Your leaving in may, but that leaves at least 3 weeks of naughty good times right? Too bad your too convinced of what YOU THINK i want. Silly ginger. No lucky charms for you.
Some boys are for love, some boys are for fun. At least i know how the world works. Lets see if he catches the drift before its too late... although i suppose there's always next fall ; )
In other news, i waited 3 months for the message i got last night, and all i feel is numb. I spent so long trying to block out how happy he made me, that i dont have anything left. Its starting from scratch. Im willing to put everything into it, but that would be stupid on my part im sure. Dont give someone your all, because when they leave, you have nothing left to show. But how do i control that? In 6 weeks, i felt more than i did in 6 months with other guys. I knew he was special. Im sure he still is.
I knew he would have to go back to her or he would never get over her. So now that she left him, AGAIN, where does that leave us? After last nights conversation, i realize, we cannot just pick up where we left off. But maybe, we will start over, remember why we cared for each other in the first place. He told me he did miss me for a while after he left, until he got too wrapped up in her. And HE was the one that came back. He says "im not expecting us to just get back together, but i wanted you to know you were right about her." That all counts for something.
I'd give anything to be 3 months in the past and 100 miles away. But i suppose ill make the most of what i have here, until he gives me a reason to feel otherwise. And if i have nothing here, i guess i have nothing to lose.
P.S. Im drunk, and probably rambling, but typing is easier than putting this in my written journal. Anything insight would be helpful, however i have heard it all before. "If a man isnt treating you right, dont bother with him" But isnt it barbaric to assume that all of the pressure should be put on the man to make moves? Im very traditional in how i view relationships, but im also not afraid to fight for what i want. All i can do is put myself out there, if i get hurt, its my own fault. I feel bad for talking about it with friends. I feel like they are bored with me. Im sorry. But i would be there for anyone else that needed to vent their emotions. So tune me out if you must, but please dont think that i dont know what im getting myself into.
Your leaving in may, but that leaves at least 3 weeks of naughty good times right? Too bad your too convinced of what YOU THINK i want. Silly ginger. No lucky charms for you.
Some boys are for love, some boys are for fun. At least i know how the world works. Lets see if he catches the drift before its too late... although i suppose there's always next fall ; )
In other news, i waited 3 months for the message i got last night, and all i feel is numb. I spent so long trying to block out how happy he made me, that i dont have anything left. Its starting from scratch. Im willing to put everything into it, but that would be stupid on my part im sure. Dont give someone your all, because when they leave, you have nothing left to show. But how do i control that? In 6 weeks, i felt more than i did in 6 months with other guys. I knew he was special. Im sure he still is.
I knew he would have to go back to her or he would never get over her. So now that she left him, AGAIN, where does that leave us? After last nights conversation, i realize, we cannot just pick up where we left off. But maybe, we will start over, remember why we cared for each other in the first place. He told me he did miss me for a while after he left, until he got too wrapped up in her. And HE was the one that came back. He says "im not expecting us to just get back together, but i wanted you to know you were right about her." That all counts for something.
I'd give anything to be 3 months in the past and 100 miles away. But i suppose ill make the most of what i have here, until he gives me a reason to feel otherwise. And if i have nothing here, i guess i have nothing to lose.
P.S. Im drunk, and probably rambling, but typing is easier than putting this in my written journal. Anything insight would be helpful, however i have heard it all before. "If a man isnt treating you right, dont bother with him" But isnt it barbaric to assume that all of the pressure should be put on the man to make moves? Im very traditional in how i view relationships, but im also not afraid to fight for what i want. All i can do is put myself out there, if i get hurt, its my own fault. I feel bad for talking about it with friends. I feel like they are bored with me. Im sorry. But i would be there for anyone else that needed to vent their emotions. So tune me out if you must, but please dont think that i dont know what im getting myself into.