It's hard to live outside her safety zone/Cause you remember being all alone
Dear special customers of TJ Maxx's,
Let me start off by saying thank you for being our customers. Without you, I would not have a job, and I am aware of this. However, having been working on and off since October 2005, I think it's about time we all had a little sit down chitchat. There are some issues we need to address before our entire relationship just implodes.
#1: I am a human. I do more than just stand, scan, breathe, and move. I can think and I can speak and I can interact beyond basic cashier duties. Please, feel free to acknowledge my presence. I'm not just saying 'Hi, how are you?' to hear my own voice.
#2: If you don't want it, then why the are you bringing the item up to the register? I see no logic in carrying around unnecessary items that you have no intentions of buying. And if you're trying to be nice and think that I want the items, you are wrong. I do not care for soap dispensers and ugly shoes. Thanks for the consideration, but feel free to the leave the stuff where it was.
#3: Unless I've missed a memo (which is possible, but highly improbable), then shoes do not look like wicker baskets. Shirts do not look like wallets. Stuffed animals don't look like hats. And golf clubs certainly do not look like purses. So if you could just please try putting items back by things they at least resemble, we'll all be a little happier in the long run.
#4: The bathrooms are in the far back corner, past layaway, through the black door, under the exit sign. Now stop fucking asking.
#5: Clearance has a red tag. Clearance sections are blatantly marked. Just because you found the item in the clearance section does not make it clearance. Yes, I'll check on the machine to see if it is marked down, but only to shut you up and prove that you are wrong. I know the coding on the tickets, I was trained to know the coding, so when I tell you the code says the item is brand new, it will not be marked down.
#6: I know I'm awesome, but I am not magical. Bringing me an item with half a ticket, where I can only read 3 of the style numbers, and only the $.99 on the price, I will not be able to tell you the actual price nor will I be able to scan it. I will have to call someone to go find an item similar to it and yes, this will take time.
#7: Coming into the store with only 5 minutes to spare is not smart. Don't do it then bitch at us when you find an item that needs a price check or when there's a line at the registers. We are not working on your schedule, we are working on ours.
#8: Building off the last two, we are the employees. We are the ones who put out the items and who spend day after day looking at them. If you find something without a price, and we send someone to find an item to get a price off of, we know what we're looking for. First, we look for the exact item. If not then, then something similar either by size or by brand name. Just because you think the item should be $1.99 does not mean that we will make it $1.99.
#9: Technology will do as it pleases. We have no control over the machines. Deal with it.
#10. The floor is not a giant shelf. If you are looking at something, and decide to put it back, put it back on the shelf or hang it back on the rack where you got it. If it falls off the hanger while you are looking at it, pick it back up. If you are back in the housewares section looking at rugs, look at it, then put it back on the shelf. Making a giant pile on the floor does not please anyone else but you, you selfish ass.
#11: I have a life outside of the store. I do not spend every waking moment in TJ Maxx's nor do I want to. So I'm sorry that I do not know every little detail of the layout or the processes. If you happen to stump me with a question, looking at me like I am retarded will not make me go find someone to answer your question any faster.
#12: I like 80% of you, but the other 20& can fuck off.
#13: Why do you bother buying a $12.99 shirt, finding it has a rip and thus getting it reduced to $10.00? It is going to cost you far more to fix it than the actual cost of the shirt. And on the matter, just because something has a little chip in it or a little rip does not mean we are going to mark it down. Don't buy the damn item if it's damaged, plain and simple.
#14: We operate under the power of management and corporate. What you say does not always go. We do not take orders from you. Just because you say it does not make it so. What the manager says, however, does go. And our managers are not people to screw with. Trust.
#15: To Canada- fuck off.
#16: To the foreign customers that speak almost no English and yet expect me to understand every supposed word (but sound more like grunts and slurs) they are saying to me- I DON'T SPEAK YOUR LANGUAGE! GIVE UP ALREADY!
#17: To the customer that has just been stuck behind another customer who took their sweet time, or needed to have five separate transactions for five separate receipts, or who had a billion items to buy, or just was incompetent- It is not my fault that your fellow shoppers are not slick. Do not take out your frustrations on me. I am just as annoyed as you are, if not more.
#18: Do not bring your children shopping if they are cranky, tired, or just generally ill-behaved. Inflicting your demon spawn on the general public is not nice, nor is it smart because at some point someone is going to get fed up and snap on you. Screaming children, especially on the 7th hour of a long day in retail, is not a pleasant experience. We will do everything in our power to make your shopping experience suck in retaliation.
#19: I know I look intelligent, but I am not the Talking Phone book. I don't know where the nearest anything is unless it is within a quarter mile of the store. I suck at giving directions. You shouldn't be asking me to begin with.
#20: Every employee is not trained to do everything. I can do register, fitting room, jewelry, layaway, recovery, phone services, markdowns, and general machine works. While this is almost everything possible, I am not an accredited CSC, so I do not have the authority to sign holds, work with the cashiers, or reduce damaged items for you. Unlike me, most other employees are barely trained on a register. This is not their fault, for they were not trained as extensively as I was. Do not treat them like crap because they don't have the training. I do not take kindly to you treating my friends like crap.
#21: Don't assume I like all my fellow coworkers. I don't.
#22: Stop returning items from Marshall's, Homegoods, or A.J. Wright to our store. We are TJ Maxx's, nothing more and nothing less. Just because the stores are all from the same corporation does not make our methods identical. If you are returning items from other stores, we have to look up proper coding and make new price tags that match our system. Yes, this will take time. It's what you get for deciding to be lazy and driving to our store and not the one you bought it from.
#23: 30 days with receipt, you get your money or credit back on returns. Past 30 days or without a receipt, you get store credit for your return. This has been the policy for years prior to my existence. It has never changed. It will most likely never change. Accept it and move on.
#24: All of the merchandise is on the floor. We are not hoarding items in the back room. We hate when the back room is full of stuff. We try to get the items out onto the sales floor ASAP. We do not have an endless supply of items in the back.
#25: Every store gets different items. The trucks deliver different boxes to different places. Just because the TJ's on Sheridan has it, does not mean we will too. You should have had them call us instead of driving all the way over.
#26: The customer is not always right. Deal with it.
I am sure that there are many more things I could bring up, but I think for now this covers the basic daily annoyances. If you could just please work on your behavior, I will promise to be as cheery and helpful as possible. But please remember, what goes around comes around. If you're a bitch to me, I will be one back. Let's just both agree to be better people for everyone's happiness. And as always, thanks for shopping at TJ Maxx's and have a great day.
Sincerely,
Dana
P.S.: At least you can be happy that this is not fast food, and I can't spit in your food.
I think I'm taking a vacation now
I'm on holiday and maybe I won't rest
Until I've thrown it all away
Yeah I've got it down
I'm gonna feel sorry for myself
I want to blame it on everyone else
I want to be self centered
And make everybody feel sorry for me
Bowling For Soup - Self-Centered
Let me start off by saying thank you for being our customers. Without you, I would not have a job, and I am aware of this. However, having been working on and off since October 2005, I think it's about time we all had a little sit down chitchat. There are some issues we need to address before our entire relationship just implodes.
#1: I am a human. I do more than just stand, scan, breathe, and move. I can think and I can speak and I can interact beyond basic cashier duties. Please, feel free to acknowledge my presence. I'm not just saying 'Hi, how are you?' to hear my own voice.
#2: If you don't want it, then why the are you bringing the item up to the register? I see no logic in carrying around unnecessary items that you have no intentions of buying. And if you're trying to be nice and think that I want the items, you are wrong. I do not care for soap dispensers and ugly shoes. Thanks for the consideration, but feel free to the leave the stuff where it was.
#3: Unless I've missed a memo (which is possible, but highly improbable), then shoes do not look like wicker baskets. Shirts do not look like wallets. Stuffed animals don't look like hats. And golf clubs certainly do not look like purses. So if you could just please try putting items back by things they at least resemble, we'll all be a little happier in the long run.
#4: The bathrooms are in the far back corner, past layaway, through the black door, under the exit sign. Now stop fucking asking.
#5: Clearance has a red tag. Clearance sections are blatantly marked. Just because you found the item in the clearance section does not make it clearance. Yes, I'll check on the machine to see if it is marked down, but only to shut you up and prove that you are wrong. I know the coding on the tickets, I was trained to know the coding, so when I tell you the code says the item is brand new, it will not be marked down.
#6: I know I'm awesome, but I am not magical. Bringing me an item with half a ticket, where I can only read 3 of the style numbers, and only the $.99 on the price, I will not be able to tell you the actual price nor will I be able to scan it. I will have to call someone to go find an item similar to it and yes, this will take time.
#7: Coming into the store with only 5 minutes to spare is not smart. Don't do it then bitch at us when you find an item that needs a price check or when there's a line at the registers. We are not working on your schedule, we are working on ours.
#8: Building off the last two, we are the employees. We are the ones who put out the items and who spend day after day looking at them. If you find something without a price, and we send someone to find an item to get a price off of, we know what we're looking for. First, we look for the exact item. If not then, then something similar either by size or by brand name. Just because you think the item should be $1.99 does not mean that we will make it $1.99.
#9: Technology will do as it pleases. We have no control over the machines. Deal with it.
#10. The floor is not a giant shelf. If you are looking at something, and decide to put it back, put it back on the shelf or hang it back on the rack where you got it. If it falls off the hanger while you are looking at it, pick it back up. If you are back in the housewares section looking at rugs, look at it, then put it back on the shelf. Making a giant pile on the floor does not please anyone else but you, you selfish ass.
#11: I have a life outside of the store. I do not spend every waking moment in TJ Maxx's nor do I want to. So I'm sorry that I do not know every little detail of the layout or the processes. If you happen to stump me with a question, looking at me like I am retarded will not make me go find someone to answer your question any faster.
#12: I like 80% of you, but the other 20& can fuck off.
#13: Why do you bother buying a $12.99 shirt, finding it has a rip and thus getting it reduced to $10.00? It is going to cost you far more to fix it than the actual cost of the shirt. And on the matter, just because something has a little chip in it or a little rip does not mean we are going to mark it down. Don't buy the damn item if it's damaged, plain and simple.
#14: We operate under the power of management and corporate. What you say does not always go. We do not take orders from you. Just because you say it does not make it so. What the manager says, however, does go. And our managers are not people to screw with. Trust.
#15: To Canada- fuck off.
#16: To the foreign customers that speak almost no English and yet expect me to understand every supposed word (but sound more like grunts and slurs) they are saying to me- I DON'T SPEAK YOUR LANGUAGE! GIVE UP ALREADY!
#17: To the customer that has just been stuck behind another customer who took their sweet time, or needed to have five separate transactions for five separate receipts, or who had a billion items to buy, or just was incompetent- It is not my fault that your fellow shoppers are not slick. Do not take out your frustrations on me. I am just as annoyed as you are, if not more.
#18: Do not bring your children shopping if they are cranky, tired, or just generally ill-behaved. Inflicting your demon spawn on the general public is not nice, nor is it smart because at some point someone is going to get fed up and snap on you. Screaming children, especially on the 7th hour of a long day in retail, is not a pleasant experience. We will do everything in our power to make your shopping experience suck in retaliation.
#19: I know I look intelligent, but I am not the Talking Phone book. I don't know where the nearest anything is unless it is within a quarter mile of the store. I suck at giving directions. You shouldn't be asking me to begin with.
#20: Every employee is not trained to do everything. I can do register, fitting room, jewelry, layaway, recovery, phone services, markdowns, and general machine works. While this is almost everything possible, I am not an accredited CSC, so I do not have the authority to sign holds, work with the cashiers, or reduce damaged items for you. Unlike me, most other employees are barely trained on a register. This is not their fault, for they were not trained as extensively as I was. Do not treat them like crap because they don't have the training. I do not take kindly to you treating my friends like crap.
#21: Don't assume I like all my fellow coworkers. I don't.
#22: Stop returning items from Marshall's, Homegoods, or A.J. Wright to our store. We are TJ Maxx's, nothing more and nothing less. Just because the stores are all from the same corporation does not make our methods identical. If you are returning items from other stores, we have to look up proper coding and make new price tags that match our system. Yes, this will take time. It's what you get for deciding to be lazy and driving to our store and not the one you bought it from.
#23: 30 days with receipt, you get your money or credit back on returns. Past 30 days or without a receipt, you get store credit for your return. This has been the policy for years prior to my existence. It has never changed. It will most likely never change. Accept it and move on.
#24: All of the merchandise is on the floor. We are not hoarding items in the back room. We hate when the back room is full of stuff. We try to get the items out onto the sales floor ASAP. We do not have an endless supply of items in the back.
#25: Every store gets different items. The trucks deliver different boxes to different places. Just because the TJ's on Sheridan has it, does not mean we will too. You should have had them call us instead of driving all the way over.
#26: The customer is not always right. Deal with it.
I am sure that there are many more things I could bring up, but I think for now this covers the basic daily annoyances. If you could just please work on your behavior, I will promise to be as cheery and helpful as possible. But please remember, what goes around comes around. If you're a bitch to me, I will be one back. Let's just both agree to be better people for everyone's happiness. And as always, thanks for shopping at TJ Maxx's and have a great day.
Sincerely,
Dana
P.S.: At least you can be happy that this is not fast food, and I can't spit in your food.
I think I'm taking a vacation now
I'm on holiday and maybe I won't rest
Until I've thrown it all away
Yeah I've got it down
I'm gonna feel sorry for myself
I want to blame it on everyone else
I want to be self centered
And make everybody feel sorry for me
Bowling For Soup - Self-Centered