The kittycat and his leech 3/?
Title: The kittycat and his leech 3/?
Author: xdark-chanx
Genre: General, Romance
Rating: T
Word Count: 1,641
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Blaine/Kurt, Puck/Kurt, Kurt, Puck, Miss Puckerman, Mrs Puckerman
Warnings: The Puckermans’ potty mouth
Spoilers: Seasons 1, 2 & 3.
Disclaimer: Sadly I don’t own Glee or Chris Colfer or Mark Salling, etc…RIB does, lucky bastards...
Summary: Noah Puckerman always knew there was someone out there just for him. Someone who was born to be with him. Someone who would love him unconditionally, and accept him, badass rep and all. Someone who should definitely not be Kurt frickin' Hummel. NightWorld crossover.
A/N 1: This is a Glee/Night World crossover. Knowledge of the Night World series by L.J.Smith isn’t necessary. Also if you’re a fan of vampires, the Vampire Diaries and the Secret Circle check this series out; it’s by the same author.
A/N 2: Hmm, this chapter pretty much wrote itself...definitely didn’t plan to write this >_<
The Night World…love was never so scary.
The Night World isn’t a place. It’s all around us. It’s a secret society of vampires, werewolves, witches, and other creatures of darkness that live among us. They’re beautiful and deadly and irresistible to humans. Your high school teacher could be one, and so could your boyfriend.
The Night World laws say it’s ok to hunt humans. It’s ok to toy with their hearts; it’s even ok to kill them. There are only two things you can’t do with them:
1) Never let them find out the Night World exists.
2) Never fall in love with one of them.
These are stories about what happens when the rules get broken.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Part 3: The Puckermans are...normal, right?
The slumbering teen squirmed as the annoying buzzing noise infiltrated his dreams, getting louder and louder by the second. ‘Ugh,’ he groaned out and turned over to hit the snooze button on his phone. Another five minutes couldn’t do any harm; he thought and snuggled back under his warm and inviting quilt. However, before he could even fall back asleep the alarm went off again. Giving up on sleep, the teen turned off the alarm, shoved the quilt aside, sat up, and found himself staring into two inhumanly large green eyes. “Fuck!” He screamed and buried himself under his quilt.
“Boo,” the owner of the impossibly large green eyes said in a monotone voice.
“Fucking hell, dude, every single fucking day,” the teen grumbled after he realized the green eyed monster was human…well as human as Satan’s spawn could be.
“I doubt anything else could ever be this fun,” the grey eyed girl informed her older brother in a smug voice.
“Whatever, demon child. One of these days I’m so gonna get you for this shit. Now, off you. Go find another poor sucker to torment. I need to get ready for frickin’ School,” he told her in his most ‘I’m the grown up so do what I say and piss off’ voice.
“Whatever, maggot,” she retorted as she slid off her brother’s bed, her bare feet barely making a sound on the cold floorboards. Shooting her brother a vicious glare, which he returned, she gracefully left the closet sized room, her long wild black hair gently swinging against her back.
Annoying the hell out of her brother was always so much fucking fun. Especially, in the mornings when he so was so totally out of it. Sadly, this time she hadn’t gotten the desired reaction she had hoped for. No, she’d so been hoping he’d scream a few octaves higher, like he had two nights ago when she’d crept into his room hours after he’d fallen asleep, only to wake him up and scare the shit out of him by simply opening her glowing eyes wide. If only she’d taped it, that scream broke so many sound barriers it just had to be a world record. Such a shame her brother hadn’t appreciated her Halloween prank as much as she had.
Laughing quietly to herself, she headed towards to sweet smelling scent wafting through the house. Once she reached the stairs leading down to their minimalistic living room, she griped the banister in both hands, raised herself so that she was balancing on the narrow rail, and pitched herself forward. Righting herself in mid air, she turned her upper body up so that her small delicate feet could meet the ground with ease.
“Lilith! You better not be acting like some zoo animal again! Those stairs are meant for walking, child. This ain’t a circus and you ain’t no trapeze artist!” a shrill voice shouted out as soon as her feet hit the ground.
“Ma, stairs are losers!” the child shouted back at her mother.
“What have I told you about talking back to me, Lilith?”
“You ain’t no friend, sibling, teacher of mine…blah blah...therefore, I should be respectful to you, blah, blah.” Lilith regurgitated as she sought her mother out.
“Ah, so you do remember then. Well, why aren’t you doing so then?”
“Cuz Ma, I’m right. Using stairs is for losers. Jumping off the railings is a 1000% cooler,” she explained, while rolling her eyes. After ten minutes of searching, she finally found her mother in their small out of date kitchen.
“Well, you just try jumping down those stairs again and we shall see who’s cool,” her mother warned as she shot her a stern look.
Lilith sighed. Her mother could be such a pain sometimes. Not to mention epically boring. It wasn’t her fault she was a hyperactive ten year old with so much energy and no way to discard it. “Alright Ma, I won’t do it again, I promise,” she mumbled insincerely and crossed her fingers discreetly behind her back.
“Good girl,” her mother replied, leaned over to ruffle her hair, and gave her a warm smile that took a decade off her thirty-eight year old face.
Lilith groaned. Great, now she felt bad for lying to her mother. Making her feel bad was like a super power of her mother’s.
Catherine Puckerman had such a gentle and loving nature about her that people almost always felt terrible when they were ‘misbehaving’ around her. It was one of the reasons Lilith’s teachers stopped giving her letters of parent-teacher meetings. Catherine always stood there asking in depth questions about Lilith’s behaviour with such an innocent and sweet face that her teachers always found it hard to hide the fact that they thought Lilith was nothing but a troublesome brat who should have been expelled years ago. The child was terrible and no one it seemed wanted break Catherine’s heart or cause her any distress, except her kids of course.
Everyone knew the reason why Lilith hadn’t been turffed off school property yet, despite the numerous fights and pranks she’d gotten involved in, was because the principal didn’t want to be the bringer of bad news. You’d think after dealing with Catherine’s first problem child he’d have manned up by now. But, no, Lilith was well on her way to high school and her thug of an older brother was almost out of high school.
Sometimes, the teachers of Lima wondered what the hell they’d done in their past life to end up teaching Lima’s ‘terrible two’. Those who had thought they’d be free of the Puckerman infliction when the self-proclaimed badass male teen moved on to high school had soon learnt that there was no such thing as a merciful God, when his sister showed up. While the male Puckerman brat had been an off the rails fighter with a rep the size of the Eiffel Tower for the sexual harassment of female students and teachers, the female Puckerman was just plain sadistic.
The child had no limits or boundaries. No one was safe. So far three of her teachers had resorted to therapy for their newfound homicidal urges, four were on anti-depressants, and one had attempted suicide after a nervous breakdown and was now on early retirement. Fifteen students had also moved schools, three of which had gone as far as to move town. The rest, they were barely coping. The only reason why they hadn’t left yet was because of a 30% pay rise and a promise of never failing a middle school exam again.
Some had even taken to calling little miss Puckerman ‘Damien’; given that Lilith’s first name meant ‘spirit of the night’ this wasn’t so far fetched, but they didn’t know that because Lilith always used her middle name ‘Sarah’ outside her house to avoid uncomfortable questions about the meaning of said name and unnecessary suspicions . They had even discussed more than a hundred conspiracy theories of how a person as pure and sickeningly nice as Catherine had given birth to the ‘terrible two’. Thank God they hadn’t been twins. Most believed the young woman was really a hundred year old hag who had sold her soul and ovaries to the devil in return for immortality and eternal youth. The others simply wondered how she’d managed to put up with both for as long as she had on her own, while retaining sanity and avoiding jail.
Everyone knew Mr David Puckerman had been a good for nothing drunkard who had ditched his young wife shortly after their second child was born, because he had ‘better’ things to do than play happy family, and truly did pity the woman. Until they’d actually met the kind woman four years ago, they had all assumed that Mrs Puckerman was either as bad as her husband or was a frail depressed woman who was bed-ridden over the abandonment of her husband. After they’d met her, however, they’d instantly realized the one who had created this terrible impression of the woman was none other than her eldest son.
Young Noah, ever the trouble maker, had always resorted to whatever means he could to avoid his mother catching wind of his bad behaviour. He knew it’d only cause her to worry and didn’t want to cause her more pain on top of the one she was suffering from his father’s betrayal. Every time he got in a fight, he would always spin a tale or two of how his mother was too hung over or too depressed to attend any parent-teacher conferences. Catherine had been none the wiser and still thought parent evenings and the like was something that had only been introduced when her youngest had entered the educational system.
Lilith smiled fondly at her mother, compared to all of her classmates’ mothers she’d met, hers was probably the best. Other kids got grounded, spanked and punished for bad behaviour, but all she got was a mild telling off and a smile afterwards.
“What’s for breakfast, Ma?”
“Venison,” Catherine replied with the same smile.
“Aw Ma, you know how I feel about eating Bambi,” Lilith whined, her mother might seem like a holy saint, but she sure could be insensitive sometimes.
“Yes I do, as well as how you feel about eating Stuart Little, Chicken Little, George, Nemo, Marty, Melman, Babe, Donald, etc. And you know as well as I do that a vegetarian lifestyle isn’t healthy or right for a growing girl like yourself.”
Lilith grumbled under her breath about her mother’s unfairness and impossibility, until she heard the light scuff of something hitting the floor somewhere outside the kitchen. She was already laughing when her mother turned and shouted-
“Noah Puckerman! What have I told you about jumping down those stairs?!”
Oh well you know what they say, like brother, like sister.
Author: xdark-chanx
Genre: General, Romance
Rating: T
Word Count: 1,641
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Blaine/Kurt, Puck/Kurt, Kurt, Puck, Miss Puckerman, Mrs Puckerman
Warnings: The Puckermans’ potty mouth
Spoilers: Seasons 1, 2 & 3.
Disclaimer: Sadly I don’t own Glee or Chris Colfer or Mark Salling, etc…RIB does, lucky bastards...
Summary: Noah Puckerman always knew there was someone out there just for him. Someone who was born to be with him. Someone who would love him unconditionally, and accept him, badass rep and all. Someone who should definitely not be Kurt frickin' Hummel. NightWorld crossover.
A/N 1: This is a Glee/Night World crossover. Knowledge of the Night World series by L.J.Smith isn’t necessary. Also if you’re a fan of vampires, the Vampire Diaries and the Secret Circle check this series out; it’s by the same author.
A/N 2: Hmm, this chapter pretty much wrote itself...definitely didn’t plan to write this >_<
The Night World…love was never so scary.
The Night World isn’t a place. It’s all around us. It’s a secret society of vampires, werewolves, witches, and other creatures of darkness that live among us. They’re beautiful and deadly and irresistible to humans. Your high school teacher could be one, and so could your boyfriend.
The Night World laws say it’s ok to hunt humans. It’s ok to toy with their hearts; it’s even ok to kill them. There are only two things you can’t do with them:
1) Never let them find out the Night World exists.
2) Never fall in love with one of them.
These are stories about what happens when the rules get broken.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Part 3: The Puckermans are...normal, right?
The slumbering teen squirmed as the annoying buzzing noise infiltrated his dreams, getting louder and louder by the second. ‘Ugh,’ he groaned out and turned over to hit the snooze button on his phone. Another five minutes couldn’t do any harm; he thought and snuggled back under his warm and inviting quilt. However, before he could even fall back asleep the alarm went off again. Giving up on sleep, the teen turned off the alarm, shoved the quilt aside, sat up, and found himself staring into two inhumanly large green eyes. “Fuck!” He screamed and buried himself under his quilt.
“Boo,” the owner of the impossibly large green eyes said in a monotone voice.
“Fucking hell, dude, every single fucking day,” the teen grumbled after he realized the green eyed monster was human…well as human as Satan’s spawn could be.
“I doubt anything else could ever be this fun,” the grey eyed girl informed her older brother in a smug voice.
“Whatever, demon child. One of these days I’m so gonna get you for this shit. Now, off you. Go find another poor sucker to torment. I need to get ready for frickin’ School,” he told her in his most ‘I’m the grown up so do what I say and piss off’ voice.
“Whatever, maggot,” she retorted as she slid off her brother’s bed, her bare feet barely making a sound on the cold floorboards. Shooting her brother a vicious glare, which he returned, she gracefully left the closet sized room, her long wild black hair gently swinging against her back.
Annoying the hell out of her brother was always so much fucking fun. Especially, in the mornings when he so was so totally out of it. Sadly, this time she hadn’t gotten the desired reaction she had hoped for. No, she’d so been hoping he’d scream a few octaves higher, like he had two nights ago when she’d crept into his room hours after he’d fallen asleep, only to wake him up and scare the shit out of him by simply opening her glowing eyes wide. If only she’d taped it, that scream broke so many sound barriers it just had to be a world record. Such a shame her brother hadn’t appreciated her Halloween prank as much as she had.
Laughing quietly to herself, she headed towards to sweet smelling scent wafting through the house. Once she reached the stairs leading down to their minimalistic living room, she griped the banister in both hands, raised herself so that she was balancing on the narrow rail, and pitched herself forward. Righting herself in mid air, she turned her upper body up so that her small delicate feet could meet the ground with ease.
“Lilith! You better not be acting like some zoo animal again! Those stairs are meant for walking, child. This ain’t a circus and you ain’t no trapeze artist!” a shrill voice shouted out as soon as her feet hit the ground.
“Ma, stairs are losers!” the child shouted back at her mother.
“What have I told you about talking back to me, Lilith?”
“You ain’t no friend, sibling, teacher of mine…blah blah...therefore, I should be respectful to you, blah, blah.” Lilith regurgitated as she sought her mother out.
“Ah, so you do remember then. Well, why aren’t you doing so then?”
“Cuz Ma, I’m right. Using stairs is for losers. Jumping off the railings is a 1000% cooler,” she explained, while rolling her eyes. After ten minutes of searching, she finally found her mother in their small out of date kitchen.
“Well, you just try jumping down those stairs again and we shall see who’s cool,” her mother warned as she shot her a stern look.
Lilith sighed. Her mother could be such a pain sometimes. Not to mention epically boring. It wasn’t her fault she was a hyperactive ten year old with so much energy and no way to discard it. “Alright Ma, I won’t do it again, I promise,” she mumbled insincerely and crossed her fingers discreetly behind her back.
“Good girl,” her mother replied, leaned over to ruffle her hair, and gave her a warm smile that took a decade off her thirty-eight year old face.
Lilith groaned. Great, now she felt bad for lying to her mother. Making her feel bad was like a super power of her mother’s.
Catherine Puckerman had such a gentle and loving nature about her that people almost always felt terrible when they were ‘misbehaving’ around her. It was one of the reasons Lilith’s teachers stopped giving her letters of parent-teacher meetings. Catherine always stood there asking in depth questions about Lilith’s behaviour with such an innocent and sweet face that her teachers always found it hard to hide the fact that they thought Lilith was nothing but a troublesome brat who should have been expelled years ago. The child was terrible and no one it seemed wanted break Catherine’s heart or cause her any distress, except her kids of course.
Everyone knew the reason why Lilith hadn’t been turffed off school property yet, despite the numerous fights and pranks she’d gotten involved in, was because the principal didn’t want to be the bringer of bad news. You’d think after dealing with Catherine’s first problem child he’d have manned up by now. But, no, Lilith was well on her way to high school and her thug of an older brother was almost out of high school.
Sometimes, the teachers of Lima wondered what the hell they’d done in their past life to end up teaching Lima’s ‘terrible two’. Those who had thought they’d be free of the Puckerman infliction when the self-proclaimed badass male teen moved on to high school had soon learnt that there was no such thing as a merciful God, when his sister showed up. While the male Puckerman brat had been an off the rails fighter with a rep the size of the Eiffel Tower for the sexual harassment of female students and teachers, the female Puckerman was just plain sadistic.
The child had no limits or boundaries. No one was safe. So far three of her teachers had resorted to therapy for their newfound homicidal urges, four were on anti-depressants, and one had attempted suicide after a nervous breakdown and was now on early retirement. Fifteen students had also moved schools, three of which had gone as far as to move town. The rest, they were barely coping. The only reason why they hadn’t left yet was because of a 30% pay rise and a promise of never failing a middle school exam again.
Some had even taken to calling little miss Puckerman ‘Damien’; given that Lilith’s first name meant ‘spirit of the night’ this wasn’t so far fetched, but they didn’t know that because Lilith always used her middle name ‘Sarah’ outside her house to avoid uncomfortable questions about the meaning of said name and unnecessary suspicions . They had even discussed more than a hundred conspiracy theories of how a person as pure and sickeningly nice as Catherine had given birth to the ‘terrible two’. Thank God they hadn’t been twins. Most believed the young woman was really a hundred year old hag who had sold her soul and ovaries to the devil in return for immortality and eternal youth. The others simply wondered how she’d managed to put up with both for as long as she had on her own, while retaining sanity and avoiding jail.
Everyone knew Mr David Puckerman had been a good for nothing drunkard who had ditched his young wife shortly after their second child was born, because he had ‘better’ things to do than play happy family, and truly did pity the woman. Until they’d actually met the kind woman four years ago, they had all assumed that Mrs Puckerman was either as bad as her husband or was a frail depressed woman who was bed-ridden over the abandonment of her husband. After they’d met her, however, they’d instantly realized the one who had created this terrible impression of the woman was none other than her eldest son.
Young Noah, ever the trouble maker, had always resorted to whatever means he could to avoid his mother catching wind of his bad behaviour. He knew it’d only cause her to worry and didn’t want to cause her more pain on top of the one she was suffering from his father’s betrayal. Every time he got in a fight, he would always spin a tale or two of how his mother was too hung over or too depressed to attend any parent-teacher conferences. Catherine had been none the wiser and still thought parent evenings and the like was something that had only been introduced when her youngest had entered the educational system.
Lilith smiled fondly at her mother, compared to all of her classmates’ mothers she’d met, hers was probably the best. Other kids got grounded, spanked and punished for bad behaviour, but all she got was a mild telling off and a smile afterwards.
“What’s for breakfast, Ma?”
“Venison,” Catherine replied with the same smile.
“Aw Ma, you know how I feel about eating Bambi,” Lilith whined, her mother might seem like a holy saint, but she sure could be insensitive sometimes.
“Yes I do, as well as how you feel about eating Stuart Little, Chicken Little, George, Nemo, Marty, Melman, Babe, Donald, etc. And you know as well as I do that a vegetarian lifestyle isn’t healthy or right for a growing girl like yourself.”
Lilith grumbled under her breath about her mother’s unfairness and impossibility, until she heard the light scuff of something hitting the floor somewhere outside the kitchen. She was already laughing when her mother turned and shouted-
“Noah Puckerman! What have I told you about jumping down those stairs?!”
Oh well you know what they say, like brother, like sister.