I'm hurting....
my week has been filled with lots of decisions that needed to be made.. it hurt so much to have to sit back and think about the fact that ppl were putting me through this but i know it was for the better good...so here it goes...Nathan....the boy i cant get out of my head...the one whole stole my heart and ran off with it....the one i will never forget....i made my descion.... i want u.....i want to try with u....i may be too late but if not here i am putting it out there...then theres Joshua.....oh boy...i think hes jus confused and im the only person her could think of to be there for him btu right now i cant....then "the fireman" (brandon), we talked about things and yes i wanna hang out with him and be friends with him but we both know that my mind is somewhere else with someone else....so for now i guess ill hurt more....i was gonna tell Nathan my descion yesterday but when i got him on the phone he told me he had a date...BAH....so i didnt say anything....i think maybe i wont ever....maybe hes happier without me there....maybe he doesnt need me....iunno....i spent most of the day yesterday crying....hurting....its like my heart cant be crushed anymore than it already is.....i jus want this pain to stop...i want my life back the way it was before the break up....i want to be happy again....i want it all back....but my luck...wont happen...ok enough with this crying on here stuff and making u all read it....so to finish my night last night i met up with Brandon at the movies and we saw "saw"....lemme jus describe this movie in two words, GROSS and DISTURBING...heh...ok ima head off to bed even though its only 830....id rather cry in my sleep than when im awake...goodngiht all