The pain still grows
Well I'm a *bit* calmer now.. a bit. Still pretty upset. Carved up my
arm a bunch. Took some pills. Okay, many pills. His email just totally
set me off to an already bad week. And he had no right to say that shit
considering I wrote that thing on my LJ over a month ago but he's
probably too stupid to tell time so yeah. All he did was treat me like
shit, and he tried to force me to give him BJ's and stuff which I
refused and then he'd get mad at me. He called me names and ridiculed
me yet I kept going back, and I'm not sure why. I should've said "To
hell with you" a long time ago. The problem is... I cared. Why? I don't
know. I care about a lot of people that I shouldn't. Too many. I need
to just stop caring. I need to realize that everyone who comes into my
life will leave me, so I shouldn't care about them. I'm only still
alive right now thanks to Ben, Megan, Cailin and Robyn.
What Ben said earlier:
That guy barely qualifies as human for the way he's acted. He's not worth your tears and he sure as hell isn't worth bleeding for. I know you have a tendancy to take what other people say to heart, so listen to me: You're a good person, through and through. From the things I've seen on Sh and the conversations we've had, you're possibly one of the most caring people I've ever been lucky enough to talk to. You've been through so much in your life - none of it was your fault - and you're still here. And you deserve credit for that. Lots of credit. Add to that the fact that your gorgeous and smart and I'd say you've got a lot going for you. And that, my dear, is the truth. So please, if you're going to take anything to heart, let it at least be true.
Love you guys... what would I do without you... <3
What Ben said earlier:
That guy barely qualifies as human for the way he's acted. He's not worth your tears and he sure as hell isn't worth bleeding for. I know you have a tendancy to take what other people say to heart, so listen to me: You're a good person, through and through. From the things I've seen on Sh and the conversations we've had, you're possibly one of the most caring people I've ever been lucky enough to talk to. You've been through so much in your life - none of it was your fault - and you're still here. And you deserve credit for that. Lots of credit. Add to that the fact that your gorgeous and smart and I'd say you've got a lot going for you. And that, my dear, is the truth. So please, if you're going to take anything to heart, let it at least be true.
Love you guys... what would I do without you... <3