(no subject)
Dear Diary,
Today... Some friends came over..
JTHM..
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Hehe wasn't that nice? For those of you who don't get it, sux to be you. Well today sucked but was good at the same time. Decided to finally talk to Carla about some serious things. THings that well are making me seriously rethink bieng with her. I know some people can't believe that, but well things lately have made me feel that well we just don't mesh well together anymore, I'm sorry to say such. I really love her but i can't be with someone who wants me to change, or even someone who will deal but feel uncomfortable around me when I am myself. I wish this wasn't happening i really do but well I can't let things just go on as if nothings happening. I've been in serious depression for a week now cuz of this, hiding it away in a mask and even lying to friends about it. I feel even worse nwo cuz i did lie.
On another note, I've gotten hooked back onto a... well... demented, yes thats the word, demented comic book.. Johnny the Homicidal Maniac. THe scary thing is, with how disturbing the comic is, i relate to the main character. Sometimes i wish i could get away with what he does, cuz well damn it looks like lots of fun. And yes by that, i'm referring to the fact he tortures and kills people, for the fun of it. Twisted and sick right? That's the point.
Well Carla is back from away and is reading the e-mail, I guess i'll be writting again after the 'coversation' ::cough fight cough:: that will ensue...
CTSM~Carl
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"Right Now"
I'm feeling mean today
Not lost, not blown away
Just irritated and quite hated
Self control breaks down
Why's everything so tame?
I Like my life insane
I'm fabericating and debating
Who I'm gonna kick around
Right now
Can't find a way
To get accross the hate
When I see you
Right now
I'm feeling strange inside
I want to slash and feed you
Right now
I rip apart the things inside
That excite you
Right now
I can't control myself
I Fucking hate you
I'm feeling cold today
Not hurt just Fucked away
I'm devastated and frustrated
God I feel so bound
So why'd I feel the need?
I think it's time to bleed
I'm gonna cut myself
and watch the blood hit the ground
Right now
Can't find a way
To get accross the hate
When I see you
Right now
I'm feeling strange inside
I want to slash and feed you
Right now
I rip apart the things inside
That excite you
Right now
I can't control myself
I Fucking hate you
You open your mouth again
I swear I'm gonna break it
You open your mouth again,
Oh God I cannot take it
Shut up, shut up, shut up or I'll Fuck you up
Shut up, shut up, shut up or I'll Fuck you up
Shut up, shut up, shut up or I'll Fuck you up!
Shut up, shut up, shut up or I'll Fuck you up!
Shut up, shut up, shut up or I'll Fuck you up!
Shut up, shut up, shut up or I'll Fuck you up!
Right now
Can't find a way
To get accross the hate
When I see you
Right now
I'm feeling strange inside
I want to slash and feed you
Right now
I rip apart the things inside
That excite you
Right now
I can't control myself
I Fucking hate you
I Fucking hate you
I Fucking hate you
I Fucking hate you
I Fucking hate you
I Fucking hate you (Shut up!)
I Fucking hate you (Shut up!)
Shut up!
Today... Some friends came over..
JTHM..
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hehe wasn't that nice? For those of you who don't get it, sux to be you. Well today sucked but was good at the same time. Decided to finally talk to Carla about some serious things. THings that well are making me seriously rethink bieng with her. I know some people can't believe that, but well things lately have made me feel that well we just don't mesh well together anymore, I'm sorry to say such. I really love her but i can't be with someone who wants me to change, or even someone who will deal but feel uncomfortable around me when I am myself. I wish this wasn't happening i really do but well I can't let things just go on as if nothings happening. I've been in serious depression for a week now cuz of this, hiding it away in a mask and even lying to friends about it. I feel even worse nwo cuz i did lie.
On another note, I've gotten hooked back onto a... well... demented, yes thats the word, demented comic book.. Johnny the Homicidal Maniac. THe scary thing is, with how disturbing the comic is, i relate to the main character. Sometimes i wish i could get away with what he does, cuz well damn it looks like lots of fun. And yes by that, i'm referring to the fact he tortures and kills people, for the fun of it. Twisted and sick right? That's the point.
Well Carla is back from away and is reading the e-mail, I guess i'll be writting again after the 'coversation' ::cough fight cough:: that will ensue...
CTSM~Carl
///////////////////////////////////////////////\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
"Right Now"
I'm feeling mean today
Not lost, not blown away
Just irritated and quite hated
Self control breaks down
Why's everything so tame?
I Like my life insane
I'm fabericating and debating
Who I'm gonna kick around
Right now
Can't find a way
To get accross the hate
When I see you
Right now
I'm feeling strange inside
I want to slash and feed you
Right now
I rip apart the things inside
That excite you
Right now
I can't control myself
I Fucking hate you
I'm feeling cold today
Not hurt just Fucked away
I'm devastated and frustrated
God I feel so bound
So why'd I feel the need?
I think it's time to bleed
I'm gonna cut myself
and watch the blood hit the ground
Right now
Can't find a way
To get accross the hate
When I see you
Right now
I'm feeling strange inside
I want to slash and feed you
Right now
I rip apart the things inside
That excite you
Right now
I can't control myself
I Fucking hate you
You open your mouth again
I swear I'm gonna break it
You open your mouth again,
Oh God I cannot take it
Shut up, shut up, shut up or I'll Fuck you up
Shut up, shut up, shut up or I'll Fuck you up
Shut up, shut up, shut up or I'll Fuck you up!
Shut up, shut up, shut up or I'll Fuck you up!
Shut up, shut up, shut up or I'll Fuck you up!
Shut up, shut up, shut up or I'll Fuck you up!
Right now
Can't find a way
To get accross the hate
When I see you
Right now
I'm feeling strange inside
I want to slash and feed you
Right now
I rip apart the things inside
That excite you
Right now
I can't control myself
I Fucking hate you
I Fucking hate you
I Fucking hate you
I Fucking hate you
I Fucking hate you
I Fucking hate you (Shut up!)
I Fucking hate you (Shut up!)
Shut up!