I'm big in the Ukraine!!
So what is it with girls from the Ukraine thinking I'm attractive and hitting on me? I just don't get it I guess. Brent swears that the girl at Carmax was hitting on me. I'll take his word for it b/c I never notice stuff like that. I just think they're being nice. That girl really reminded me so much of Lena and made me really think...I MISS LENA!! I know some people thinks she's annoying, but I guess there was just something about her that made me understand her. She was fun and my best friend. We use to be so n'sync*NOT THE BAND, THEY SUCK*. I remember we use to drink up like everyone should at some point or another. Ya know just kick back with a drink in your hand and being totally crazy. I kinda miss that. I don't miss pressing my boobs against glass doors and I don't miss running around half naked with a bunch of people around, but I do miss everything else. Anytime I was upset she would always be there like a good friend should be and she really cared. I wish I had more than one way to get ahold of her. The only way I can get in contact with her is through e-mail and I'm not even sure if she checks that anymore or if it's still active. She has no way of really getting ahold of me now since I've moved and my number changed. I guess some people just aren't meant to stick around and I understand that. I guess I just miss the good times and having lots of friends. I like having large groups of friends. Now it feels like I'm so lonely. Guess it's because everyone else is so far away and doing different things. I need some friends. God this log sounds so pathetic. Gah.
On to more pathetic things, 2 people in my family died this week. One of my cousins hung himself Saturday night. I didn't really no him, but it's still sad to think about. Then Monday my Great Aunt, my favorite one like a grandmother to me, passed away. She went into the hospital b/c she was throwing up. Then the doctors thought they got everything fixed up for her. They told her she would be able to go home the next day. One of my cousins told the doctor that there was no one at home to take care of her so she needed to stay there. 2 days later she passed on. We think it was her heart. All of the Staffords have an irregular heartbeat and they have all died from it. I have that same irregular heartbeat, kinda scares me. Not for now, but for later and I hope that our kids don't get that. I'm sure they won't, but ya know as a future mother it still bothers me. And no I'm not pregnant...I just know that someday I will be a mother.
Onto a better note, we sold Brent's car today. So we don't have that 400 dollar car payment a month. That really helps a lot. Now we have two paid off cars. That just makes me feel all warm and happy inside despite everything else that's going on. I'm doing my best to be okay. I hate being upset, but I guess I need to get this out to heal properly. That's something I didn't do with my Pop, which I think b/c of that I'm still not over it. I need to go to the cemetary and see him. Maybe I'll finally get some closure and be able to recover from that as well. You would think I'd be over it by now. He passed away in '97.
I wanna see U2 in concert. I think it would be absolute heaven.
On to more pathetic things, 2 people in my family died this week. One of my cousins hung himself Saturday night. I didn't really no him, but it's still sad to think about. Then Monday my Great Aunt, my favorite one like a grandmother to me, passed away. She went into the hospital b/c she was throwing up. Then the doctors thought they got everything fixed up for her. They told her she would be able to go home the next day. One of my cousins told the doctor that there was no one at home to take care of her so she needed to stay there. 2 days later she passed on. We think it was her heart. All of the Staffords have an irregular heartbeat and they have all died from it. I have that same irregular heartbeat, kinda scares me. Not for now, but for later and I hope that our kids don't get that. I'm sure they won't, but ya know as a future mother it still bothers me. And no I'm not pregnant...I just know that someday I will be a mother.
Onto a better note, we sold Brent's car today. So we don't have that 400 dollar car payment a month. That really helps a lot. Now we have two paid off cars. That just makes me feel all warm and happy inside despite everything else that's going on. I'm doing my best to be okay. I hate being upset, but I guess I need to get this out to heal properly. That's something I didn't do with my Pop, which I think b/c of that I'm still not over it. I need to go to the cemetary and see him. Maybe I'll finally get some closure and be able to recover from that as well. You would think I'd be over it by now. He passed away in '97.
I wanna see U2 in concert. I think it would be absolute heaven.