(no subject)
so... my second cousin died this morning. she was the youngest of my moms cousins. fucking a marathon runner, never smoked a cigarette in her life, and dead of lung cancer.
im not sure why i am so upset, but i am. i guess ive never had to deal with death that was at all close to me, and then in the past six months ive had so many people in my life die. im really not taking kellys death well. she was so amazing. maybe its just that i got my wisdom teeth pulled and im all fucked up on vicodin, but i just cant deal with this. and like all of the deaths ive been surrounded with lately, it looks like i wont be able to make the funeral. which i think, more and more, really is a key element in in grief.
im not sure why i am so upset, but i am. i guess ive never had to deal with death that was at all close to me, and then in the past six months ive had so many people in my life die. im really not taking kellys death well. she was so amazing. maybe its just that i got my wisdom teeth pulled and im all fucked up on vicodin, but i just cant deal with this. and like all of the deaths ive been surrounded with lately, it looks like i wont be able to make the funeral. which i think, more and more, really is a key element in in grief.