(no subject)
i wish i could just quit. im so tired and done. i want all this to be over with and its not. i wish i had my life back. i wish i had somewhere to sleep. my sister has been more than gracious and giving, but i just want to sleep in a bed. i want a place to call my own. i want my things.
i want to wake up every morning and be hopeful for something. i still have a lot of pain, and i just want it to stop. im so glad i still have her as a friend in my life. i need a place of my own. this is the way things are now. im only able to have her as my friend. shes become my best friend over the past 3 1/2 years, and i cant let that go. not being able to have an apartment right now and having to still come to this apartment to pack things is painful. i want to be here because its the only place i know of home. but its not my home anymore.
i dont know what im saying. im just tired and worn out. my brain is filled with too much and my heart is filled with too much too. i miss so much. i miss her so much. and i miss having an actual life and home.
fuck realities.
i want to wake up every morning and be hopeful for something. i still have a lot of pain, and i just want it to stop. im so glad i still have her as a friend in my life. i need a place of my own. this is the way things are now. im only able to have her as my friend. shes become my best friend over the past 3 1/2 years, and i cant let that go. not being able to have an apartment right now and having to still come to this apartment to pack things is painful. i want to be here because its the only place i know of home. but its not my home anymore.
i dont know what im saying. im just tired and worn out. my brain is filled with too much and my heart is filled with too much too. i miss so much. i miss her so much. and i miss having an actual life and home.
fuck realities.