(no subject)
So this was the oneshot I planned to post last week, but writers block and uni work got in the way...anyways...
The ending is crap and tbh it does feel VERY rushed, but I had like a million endings in mind nand didnt know which one to write, also I really want to get working on the fic i planned on this week (which btw you'll probably need to revise because i havnt posted on it in YEARS..ok well not QUITE as much but yea...)
anyhoo...
Kami sat in the large lecture hall bored. His head was in his hand and he was doodling odd pictures in the space where his notes should have been. His best friend Közi sat beside him giggling.
“What?” Kami whispered not looking at Közi but interested to know what his red-haired friend found so amusing. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Közi motion to his own notes. On it he had drawn a picture of his lecturer masturbating over a miniature TV that seemed to have porn on it. Kami couldn’t help but giggle. It was well known that their lecturer was a pervert.
“Közi that’s so mean.” Kami whispered, trying to control his laughter.
“It’s true though.” His friend replied.
“Kami, Közi, thank you for volunteering.” A voice said loudly, disturbing them both from their conversation.
“Huh?” Közi asked, startled. Their lecturer was stood glaring at them both.
“If you were listening I was asking if there was anyone who wanted to represent the college at the annual CTI event.”
“Aw no! I’m not giving up my Saturday to hang out with nerds.” Közi retorted.
“Should have thought of that before you decided to have a conversation.” Their lecturer replied. “Stay after class and I’ll brief you both through it.”
“This is all your fault.” A tired Kami snapped, getting into Közi’s car early the next morning.
“My fault? I think you’re forgetting Yu~ki.” Közi replied looking offended. “He made us do this.”
“Because you drew that picture.” Kami replied.
“Oh yea.” Közi said, giggling at the mental image of his artwork.
“Proud of it aren’t you?” Kami asked rolling his eyes.
“Of course.” Közi laughed putting his foot down and driving them off. They sat in silence for about half an hour. Kami was too tired to talk, it was 6am…he wasn’t used to being up this early.
“If he was younger…” Kozi began but was unable to finish as Kami interrupted.
“Not this again!”
“I’m just saying…if he wasn’t so old I would…”
“Lalalalalalalalalalala!” Kami cried, putting his hands over his ears.
“Kami!” Közi shouted annoyed. “Will you listen to me?”
“I don’t want to know what you would do to our perverted lecturer.” Kami replied. “He’s so not gay anyway.”
“Bi?” Közi asked hopefully.
“Not a chance.”
“Shame.” Közi went back to keeping his eyes on the road while Kami twisted a long strand of red hair round his index finger.
“Say Kami…Who’s your perfect man?” Közi ventured, the atmosphere was pretty tense and he wanted to get them both talking again like the best friends they were.
“Oh…I don’t know...I haven’t met him yet.” Kami replied staring out the window.
“Well describe him.” Közi laughed.
“He has to be strong, handsome, kind but confident.”
“What about his penis size?” Közi asked grinning.
“Need you ask?” Kami replied looking at his friend and grinning slyly. “What about you?”
“Dark, mysterious and kinky as hell.” Közi replied almost triumphantly. “Hey a hitchhiker! Let’s pick him up!” Közi swerved the car and came to a halt next to a tall dark figure in a cloak.
“Közi, I don’t know, what if he’s dangerous, also, we need to be getting to the convention.”
“Come on, there’s no harm in it.” Came the reply. The figure walked forward and opened the door to the back seat before slipping inside.
“I am going to a castle far from here; I have an appointment with a friend and must be there by tomorrow night, I’d greatly appreciate the lift.” The figure said, removing his cloak. He had jet black hair that fell to his jaw and pale, almost white, skin.
“Where is this castle?” Kami asked suspiciously.
“Along the road that runs parallel to this one.”
“Then why don’t you stand there?”
“I am afraid all manner of strange people live around that area, it is much safer to gain transport.”
“Hear that Kami? Sounds more fun than where we’re going…how about we…”get lost” on the way?” Közi said grinning; there was a gleam in his eye that usually meant trouble.
“Yu~ki would kill us…let’s go for it.” Kami replied laughing.
“OK!” Közi shouted, pushing his fist in the air. Once again he put his foot on the pedal and the car sped off.
Kami looked at their passenger in the mirror. He certainly was handsome.
“So what’s your name?” He ventured.
“I can’t tell you my real name, but you may call me Klaha.” The man replied. He was also mysterious.
“What kind of things were you talking about when you said about that other road? You know the people there?” Közi asked, keeping his eyes fixed on the road.
“Well there’s the crazy cat man.” Klaha replied. “He lives with thousands of them. Legend has it he was busy straightening his frizzy hair and was only half done when a cat leapt through his window and interrupted him. He was so lonely that he was glad of the company and made it his mission to collect cats…he never did finish straightening his hair. He walks up and down the road asking people for their cats…and when you don’t give him one…he throws one at you and runs away.”
“I see.” Came Közi’s reply.
“Then there’s the guy who thinks he’s a vampire.”
“Thinks he’s a vampire?” Közi asked.
“Yes, he comes up to you and tries to bite your neck. He also lives in a castle, like my friend, but his castle is rundown and part of the roof is missing. Probably the reason he always wears a big thick coat with a hood which he never takes down. He lives with his robotic Chihuahua which happens to be his only friend. Though, he claims he has others…I feel sorry for him, his sanity deserted him years ago. I mean, he thinks he’s over five hundred years old.”
“What a loser.” Kami giggled. “Hey Közi, lets stop by his place and annoy him.”
“I wouldn’t, my friend says people who have gone into that castle have never come out. Mana says he keeps people prisoner and tortures them.” Klaha replied.
“Mana? Is that your friend?” Kami asked.
“Yes, a very dear and old friend of mine.”
“So…you have no girlfriend? Boyfriend?” Kami asked, there was a gleam of hope in his eyes.
“Not exactly.” Klaha answered. Satisfied with this answer, Kami smiled to himself.
It was dark by the time the small car reached the parallel road Klaha had mentioned. Közi was tired as he had been driving all day.
“Is there a hotel where we can rest for the night?” He asked yawning.
“Actually there is, it’s this right turning here.” Klaha replied, gesturing to a small road. Eagerly, Közi turned the car into it.
The road led them A little further right before opening onto a small car park in front of a tavern and guest house. After parking the car, the three got out and headed for the entrance.
Inside, a bartender with long hair was busy wiping glasses. A blonde man was sat in the corner slumped over his beer and a pretty woman sat at the bar. Two men sat around a small table whispering quietly, when the three entered the room they looked up suspiciously, turned their backs to them and continued their conversation.
“We need three rooms for the night.” Klaha said addressing the bartender.
“Just one night?” The bartender asked.
“Yes, we’ll be leaving early tomorrow morning.” Klaha answered.
“Just a minute.” The bartender replied and walked over to doorway through which he shouted.
“Hey, Die! Three guys want three rooms for a night, we got any?”
“Yea.” Came the reply. “Get them drink and tell hide to make the rooms up.”
“Will do.” The bartender shouted. He then strode over to another doorway and through it shouted.
“hide, make three rooms up now!” A young man with pink hair entered the room, smiled apologetically and hurried through the first door the bartender had shouted through.
“What can I get you to drink?” The bartender smiled.
“Three beers!” Közi shouted happily.
“I don’t want a beer.” Klaha answered.
“Who said they were for you?” Közi laughed.
“A glass of wine and two cokes.” Klaha ordered before adding, “These two are underage.”
The bartender got them their drinks and they settled down in a corner.
“I like big butts and I cannot lie!” Shouted the blonde drunk guy suddenly, disturbing the whole of the tavern.
“Kyo, you’ve had enough go home.” The bartender snapped. To which, the blonde stood up suddenly and pointed at the bartender.
“I have not! You…” He trailed off as he suddenly became distracted by his own finger.
“Kyo…go home.” The bartender repeated.
“Kaoru you bastard!” Kyo replied suddenly.
“Home.” The bartender said yet again. Kyo walked towards the door but stopped in the middle of the room.
“I’m drunk!” He announced proudly before leaving.
Barely a minute passed before Kyo came running back in.
“Vampire!” He screamed running around the room. With a sigh Kaoru stepped out from behind the bar as a man in a thick hooded coat entered the tavern.
“How many times do I have to tell you to stay away from my establishment!” Kaoru shouted angrily.
“I have to eat!” The man replied.
“Hey Kami, it’s the crazy guy Klaha told us about.” Közi whispered, half laughing.
“You are NOT a vampire.” Kaoru replied. “Stop terrorising my customers.”
“I…” The man began before stopping and turning to look at Kami, Közi and Klaha.
“New blood.” He said, seemingly forgetting he was in the middle of an argument. He walked over to the corner the three were seated in and looked at them. His face was covered so none of them could see his features but he seemed to be really studying them. Suddenly a dirty hand shot out and grabbed Kami’s hair.
“Pretty.” The man said, stroking the long hair he held. Startled, Kami let out a squeak and tried to pull back.
“Let me go you gross idiot!” He shouted, looking to Közi and Klaha for help. The man then grabbed Kami and hugged him.
“Pretty man.” He said, burying his face into Kami’s hair. Közi thought this was hilarious and fell about laughing.
“Let me go!” Kami repeated but the man only held on tighter.
“I think he likes you.” Közi giggled.
“Well I don’t like him so he better let me go before I break his arms!” Kami shouted. The man seemed to be saddened by this and he let go of Kami before sitting on a spare seat at their table and looking down at his feet.
“Aww you’ve upset him now.” Közi said, trying to hide the laughter from his voice.
“Hmph, don’t care.” Kami retorted.
“So…where are you headed, Kaoru asked standing by them, obviously trying to keep an eye on the “vampire”.
“Mana’s castle.” Klaha said flatly.
“Sign of the devil sign of the devil!” The man at their table shouted suddenly.
“Huh?” Kami asked.
“Pretty man no go near castle!”
“Like I’d listen to you.” Kami retorted.
“Witch witch! There there! Somebody look up there!”
“Mana is not a witch!” Klaha shouted standing up. The man, seemingly afraid of Klaha leapt out of his seat and ran out of the door.
“I think we need to sleep.” Klaha said, calm as ever after his shot outburst. “Kaoru, please show me to my room.” Kaoru bowed and signalled for them to follow him. Kami and Közi also got up and followed him through a door and up some stairs onto a long corridor that held five different rooms. Each man was shown to his room that bore either the numbers one two or three. Once settled they said their goodbyes and went to bed.
Next morning, after being fully rested the three made their way out of the inn, thanking Kaoru as they left. The three got into the car and made their way out of the car park and off down the long road once again.
“Where’s your boyfriend today?” Közi asked Kami giggling. In return he received a cold look from Kami and his laughter died down.
“I feel sorry for him you know…I wonder what made his sanity disappear like that.” Közi thought out loud.
“Who cares?” Kami replied bitterly.
The remainder of the journey didn’t take too long and before the three knew it, Klaha’s destination came into view.
“This is it.” Klaha commented calmly, staring straight ahead. The castle seemed to be made purely from brick that was coloured black. Large iron gates blocked the driveway into it’s grounds and a thin mist covered the path.
“Maybe we should drop Klaha off here.” Kami suggested staring up at the large building.
“No way, we’re going too.” Közi grinned arriving at the gates. Klaha voluntarily got out of the car to unlock the gates. The car drove through and Klaha got back in. The rest of the driveway seemed around a mile long and Klaha didn’t want to walk it.
Arriving outside the castle’s main door, Kami got yet another shudder and made yet another attempt to divert them away from this place.
“Kami, stop being such a coward.” Közi said irritably. Although he didn’t like to admit it, he too was feeling nervous. Klaha confidently strode up to the door and knocked hard. It took a while, but eventually a man with dark hair opened the door. He looked at the three expectantly.
“Toshi, it’s me Klaha.” Klaha smiled. The man looked at him and when realisation finally hit he hastened backwards, opening the door wider.
“Sorry master Klaha sorry.” He said bowing.
“These are my new friends, Kami and Közi.” Klaha added walking inside. Kami and Közi quickly followed. “Please alert Mana of my presence, I’m sure he’ll be pleased to see me.” Klaha took off his cloak and handed it to Toshi. Toshi bowed once again and hurried out of the hall.
The hall was grandly decorated; it had a distinct elegant Victorian theme and was ridiculously clean. The floor and steps were made of marble, the wooden banister was a deep brown but had a brilliant shine to it. Kami hadn’t noticed any of this, he was too busy taking in Klaha’s outfit. It was the first time he’d seen Klaha without his cloak. He was dressed in a long jacket with a deep red ruffled shirt beneath it. His trousers were pure black but he wore shiny leather boots beneath them.
Kami was busy wondering how far up the leg they went when a man with huge hair appeared at the top of the staircase.
“Klaha, you’re early.”
“Yes Mana, I came as fast as I could.” ‘So this is Mana.’ Kami thought to himself. Mana was dressed in what Kami thought was a very slutty short skirt, a black blouse and knee high boots.
“You are not known to me.” Mana commented glaring at Közi and Kami as he reached the bottom of the staircase.
“These two gave me a ride, they were good to me.” Klaha commented.
“Hmmm then they may stay.” Mana replied. “Klaha, I have our room ready.”
“Oh thank you Mana.” Klaha smiled.
“You two must not disturb us, Toshi will show you to your rooms, do not go wandering around the castle.” Mana said addressing Kami and Közi. With that, he left, leading Klaha away.
“What do you think they’re doing?” Kami asked.
“Fucking.” Közi replied.
“Közi don’t say things like that!”
“Well it’s true; you just have a thing for Klaha.”
“Do not!”
“Do too.” They’re argument was stopped when Toshi appeared back in the room.
“Master wants you to join us for dinner, but before then I must show you where you’re rooms are.” He stated before ascending the staircase.
* * * * * * * * * * *
“What do you think Mana has in store for us?” Közi asked Klaha as the three sat at a large dinner table.
“I don’t know, but he likes to put on some kind of performance.” Klaha replied sitting in his chair with his arms folded. Suddenly, all the lights went down and mana appeared at the doorway. All at once, he began to sing…
“How d'you do, I see you've met my faithful handyman
He's just a little brought down because when you knocked
He thought you were the candyman.
Don't get strung out by the way that I look,
Don't judge a book by its cover
I'm not much of a man by the light of day,
But by night I'm one hell of a lover
I'm just a Sweet Transvestite from Transexual, Transylvania.
So let me show you around, maybe play you a sound
You look like you're both pretty groovy
Or if you want something visual that's not too abysmal
We could take in an old Steve Reeves movie.
I'm just a Sweet Transvestite from Transexual, Transylvania.”
“WHAT THE FUCK???” Shouted Közi at the top of his voice. Kami, unfortunately for him laughed so hard he fell off his chair. Klaha, however, seemed strangely aroused by the whole scene.
“You dare to laugh at me?” Mana glared. “Toshi! Toshi! Throw him in the dungeon!” Toshi appeared once again, grabbing Kami who was still in fits of laughter, and dragging him away.
* * * * * * * * * * *
When Kami had finally regained himself he found he was in a small room with bars on the window.
“Oh god what have I done?” He said aloud.
“Pretty?” A voice said from outside the window.
Kami turned round and went to look. Outside was the crazy man who thought he was a vampire. ‘Great, just what I need’. Kami thought.
“I’ll free you!” The man cried happily. He pulled, from his cloak, a saw and set to work on the bars.
“If I save the pretty man, he has to love me.” He cried gleefully. Kami sighed, Ok the guy was insane, but he was helping him.
When the bars were gone, Kami climbed out and stood outside.
“Glad I’m out of there.” He laughed. What he didn’t see was the other man, grabbing him and pulling him into a hug.
“Pretty man safe now.”
“My name is Kami!” The other man stopped for a minute…
“Pretty Kami?”
“Whatever.”
A very welcome sound reached Kami’s ears.
“Kami! “
“Közi!” Kami happily ran to his friend.
“OK here you go.” Közi said, addressing the strange man. “A deal’s a deal.” He handed the man a small vial and smiled. Excitedly the man opened it and drank the liquid that was inside.
Instantly, the man fell to the floor and started shaking.
“What’s happening?” Kami asked.
“Mana punished me.” The man replied standing up, for the first time he removed his cloak. “My name is Gackt, I wouldn’t sleep with Mana so he punished me by taking away my sanity. It sounds strange I know, I asked Közi to help me get it back in exchange for saving you, though, I think I might have done it anyway.” Gackt leaned forward and wrapped an arm around Kami’s waist. Kami blushed furiously.
“Still think I’m a freak?” Gackt smiled.
“I…” Kami had to admit the man was good looking and he seemed totally different than he had just five minutes ago.
“I think he means he’s sorry.” Közi laughed. “So what do we do now?” He added thoughtfully.
“How about you take me back to your place?” Gackt smiled. “I’d rather forget all this.”
“Same here.” Kami replied.
“Agreed.” Kozi said hurrying back to the car, “bye Klaha”, he shouted, waving up at the castle.
“I don’t even want to know what kinda kinky stuff is going on in there.” Gackt shuddered.
“Really? Cos I kinda do!” Közi laughed.
“Let’s just get out of here.” Kami stated. “I never want another adventure for as long as I live.”