This is going to be long. . .
Okay, where to begin?
There's been a lot going on in my life that I just haven't felt like talking about. To anyone.
First of all, I got fired about 3 weeks ago from the Resort. I'm happy about it in the end, it's just that the timing sucked ass. I had already put in an application at the Sheriff's Office for "Communications Officer Trainee"... which the job description pretty much says it's Dispatch. And I put that in before I got fired. So I was ready to move on, but on my own terms. I need the money, especially with school coming this fall.
This isn't the beginning of the story though. Just little things here and there with Mom and I haven't been going so great. Ever since Dad had to go North for his job, she and I have been butting heads like no other. In the beginning, we were okay. But as the time has grown long, our fuses have grown short. I've been spending a lot of time out of the house for the simple fact that I feel like I have NO privacy there. With my grandparents living upstairs and being within earshot of every conversation my Mom and I have, it get's annoying. And Mom never brought it up with me, but apparently her parents have been trying to tell her what to do with me and she's also tired of it. It's not easy having other relatives in such a close proximity. Actually, it kinda sucks. Especially when all they do is talk shit. Don't get me wrong, I love my grandparents, but where does it end?
Moving out. That's where. Unfortunately it wont end for my mother, and she'll be there taking care of them until the very end. But I NEED to get out on my own. Only one problem. I no longer have a job. And the application process at the Sheriff's Office can take up to 6 months from the time THEY contact YOU. It's no good.
We recently had a small gathering at our house due to the fact that my cousin, Nique, was actually coming to visit. So naturally, everyone had to come and see her all at once as well. That's fine. She showed up Friday afternoon and left Saturday evening. Only thing is, everyone stayed through the whole weekend. I was leaving Monday morning, 6am Monday morning, to head to Maryland. Naturally, I wanted to spend a little time with some friends considering I had just spent 2 whole days with the family. 9am Sunday morning, Aunt Jan knocks on my door saying: "Erin, time to get up, there's gardening to be done," in a singsong kinda tone. UGH. they had me until about 4 in the afternoon gardening and pulling weeds and then Mom said she wanted me home by 10 at the latest. Great.
Anyways, I home at 10 and finished what I needed, then woke up at 5:30am to leave the house by 6 to make the 8:20 flight to Baltimore. This was Monday. I've been pretty much lounging around the house enjoying the peace and privacy.
Mom has me hooked on romance novels and I've finished one already since I've been up here that I started back home. On to the other one that I took without Mom knowing. (One of the ones she just bought and hadn't had the chance to read herself yet. OOPS! ;])
In other news, Megan and I have been going to Cowboys almost every Thursday. (Ladies Night). I've been getting better at the line dances and I've come to learn that the lyrics of a very popular country song hold true: "Life's a dance, you learn as you go. Sometimes you lead, Sometimes you follow. Don't worry 'bout what you don't know, Life's a dance you learn as you go." Meaning, every time that we used to go in the past, I would sit and watch everyone do them thinking I was learning them and that I'd magically be able to go out there and do all of them just from watching. Well, that's not true. I got out there and made a fool out of myself, but that's okay. I learned a lot more just by being out there, than I ever did watching. =] So cliche, yet so true.
Billy and Kira are still together. I'm happy that they're happy. Enough said about their relationship, but when it comes to Kira and I, I feel like we have grown apart. And I know she'll read this and hopefully she wont take that the wrong way. What I mean by that is, we're both getting older and dealing with everyday problems and situations. Sometimes when I call her about something that I would like to talk to her about, she kinda plays the "mommy" role in lecturing me instead of giving insight in a friendly way. We've talked about it. There's areas we both have to work on. And this is kind of an old issue, but like I said, it's been forever since I've updated and I want to get as much as I can out there.
[I'm not writing for any feedback. If you'd like to leave love, you're more than welcome. This is, after all, just me venting right now.]
I'm also tired of only hearing family drama. I think that's another reason why I spend so much time out of the house. I can't stand it anymore. I seriously need to get out. And if I get the job in Titusville (the Sheriff's Office) then I'm more than likely going to have to find something a little closer to there. Driving 30 minutes back and forth everyday doesn't sound too appealing.. but for $12/hr starting pay, it'll be worth it for a little while.
I feel like I can't talk to anyone about some things. I have recently become really close to a friend in Cape Canaveral. Her name is Kandis and she's 23? I believe, and she has a 2 year old daughter named Meridith (aka MayMay). I adore her kid and enjoy spending time with her. Like I said, we've become close, but I'm not so sure I could talk to her about certain things. Like the issues I have with things. Anyone that already knows me, knows that I'm loud and I don't hold back on my feelings. Well, to her, I'm just "coming out of my shell" as she put it. HAHA she hasn't seen anything yet. =D And it's nothing bad, it's just that we have a lot of time to make up if we're going to become as close as I think we might become. (If that makes sense.)
I wasn't kidding when I said this is going to be long.
Chester and Michael are another subject that upsets me. We never hang out anymore. And I know it's a two way street.. but I have been making the effort to call Chester and see what he's doing every now and then, and of course, he never calls back. But that's Ches. He's always been like that. And idk what's going on with Michael. I miss him, but I feel like things are different. And again, I know he's going to read this, but hear me out. It's like every time I talk to you now, there's a new girl that you've been talking to and have become close to. I'm glad that you're taking to risks that I, myself, am afraid to do. But for whatever reason, things don't work out between you and that girl and it's like your world has stopped spinning. =[ That's not good. I hope that I'm just behind on the times and that you're doing good for yourself and you don't let girls get to you like that anymore.. in which case there's nothing wrong. Except for the fact that we're still not chillin' like we used to. I wish it could go back to those high school days where you, me, and Ches would hang out til 2 in the morning just sitting around the house, you two playing your guitars and all of us just bullshitting. I loved those days. Michael, what happened to us getting a workout in gear and you helping me to become a better runner? I know I'm going to hate it, but I know it'll better me and it'll give us a chance to hang out again. You'll have to kick my ass in gear to get running, but I know I'll appreciate it in the long run. (Pun intended.)
Julie and Betsy are becoming those friends I'll stay in touch with forever. That's awesome. I'm glad that I don't have to hide anything with them and I CAN talk to them about anything that I'm going through. It's just difficult to find the time to head out to Orlando at a time that fits both of our schedules. Maybe now that I don't have a job, when I get back, I'll be able to head over there in the evenings, if they're not busy with homework, which I'm sure they will be. Hmm, I'm thinking that they just might have to MAKE the time. Maybe once a month? Haha, lemme know!!
I'm sure there's more that I want/need to say, I just cant seem to think of anything anymore. It's long enough. I'll update again if I do happen to think of something else of importance.
for now,
finis.