three-six-eight
I want change.
Today I was helping my mom fill out online job applications (she's not very computer savvy) and I found myself thinking about the schools she was applying for and how cool it would have been if I'd gone there. She mentioned a high school in the next town over that's a lot like the elementary/middle school I liked. And I found myself considering it. I almost want to go. To start over again, now that I know how to do it. Because I'm waiting to graduate to be infinite because I have so many ties here. The Beloved and all the bad grades and... everything. I want to leave, and at the same time I want so badly never to have to. It's so confusing.
Today we discussed me possibly going to Missouri for a few weeks this summer to work for my uncle and my cousin; to start saving money for... everything. I'm emailing my grandma this weekend and asking her if it's a good idea, then my uncle after I talk to her. Because I want OUT of here. I don't hate it, because that word implies a really strong, burning feeling. And some good reason, which I don't have. I just... feel repelled, like a magnet against one of the same charge. I do not like it here, and I want out. Just get me out >__<
I'm cleaning up my room tomorrow because the junk is suffocating me, then asking mom if I can possibly earn some money by clearing out the closet under our basement stairs. She said she'd pay me for it once, but I have to check, because everything financial is fucked over because of the lost job.
The weirdest part of this antsy, get-out feeling is it's all Strella. Morona's no where near this. It's all bright, spitting blue. I just want out >< And I'll say that a million times because I don't know what else to do. I can't leave, obviously, it's only spring break and I have two more months of school, and aurg! LET ME OUT. I want to LEAVE, this is INSANE.
Get me out of here >__<
The P365 for today is of my mess of a room; it's exactly how I feel right now, however that works.
My NaPoWriMo piece is on it's way, along with yesterday's (I posted it to dA but I think I forgot to stick it on here).
Tell me how to get away without leaving.
☼♫♥☺
Today I was helping my mom fill out online job applications (she's not very computer savvy) and I found myself thinking about the schools she was applying for and how cool it would have been if I'd gone there. She mentioned a high school in the next town over that's a lot like the elementary/middle school I liked. And I found myself considering it. I almost want to go. To start over again, now that I know how to do it. Because I'm waiting to graduate to be infinite because I have so many ties here. The Beloved and all the bad grades and... everything. I want to leave, and at the same time I want so badly never to have to. It's so confusing.
Today we discussed me possibly going to Missouri for a few weeks this summer to work for my uncle and my cousin; to start saving money for... everything. I'm emailing my grandma this weekend and asking her if it's a good idea, then my uncle after I talk to her. Because I want OUT of here. I don't hate it, because that word implies a really strong, burning feeling. And some good reason, which I don't have. I just... feel repelled, like a magnet against one of the same charge. I do not like it here, and I want out. Just get me out >__<
I'm cleaning up my room tomorrow because the junk is suffocating me, then asking mom if I can possibly earn some money by clearing out the closet under our basement stairs. She said she'd pay me for it once, but I have to check, because everything financial is fucked over because of the lost job.
The weirdest part of this antsy, get-out feeling is it's all Strella. Morona's no where near this. It's all bright, spitting blue. I just want out >< And I'll say that a million times because I don't know what else to do. I can't leave, obviously, it's only spring break and I have two more months of school, and aurg! LET ME OUT. I want to LEAVE, this is INSANE.
Get me out of here >__<
The P365 for today is of my mess of a room; it's exactly how I feel right now, however that works.
My NaPoWriMo piece is on it's way, along with yesterday's (I posted it to dA but I think I forgot to stick it on here).
Tell me how to get away without leaving.
☼♫♥☺