I have a dark side, you may never see.
I miss...
the buzzing of his tools
the way he yelled at me when I did wrong
the way he always made things better after a big fight
How smart he was
the rough texture of his hands
the safe feeling he left me with
the way his bierd tickled my skin when he kissed my cheek
how he used to tuck me in like a mermaid at night
the way he used to caress my face
How he always made room for me in bed when I couldn't sleep
The bear hugs he gave
His voice
How I could talk to him about anything
The way he grinned and snorted when he found something funny
His scent
Late night trips to twisty cone, and the corner store
car shows
movie nights
How he was so optamistic, or at least he seemed to be
How brave he was
The slam of his truck door
the roaring of his engine
watching the news or history channel in the morning, before he took me to school
How he seemed to make everything all better
The way things were when he was around..
so many things have changed since he's been gone.
I really miss my dad.
And tonight Matt made me realize how much I really miss him.
Sure, in September it will be 4 years.
But it seems like yesterday that he left me.
Some people think I'm pathedic for not being over it yet.
These people don't know what it's like to lose someone so close to you.
I will never get over it.
Recently, I expressed to michelle how alone I felt.
How I felt I didn't really have a best friend.
I used to.
It was my dad.
And I just wish to god he was still around, becuase then I could be ignorant to this feeling like everyone else.
But I don't have that luxury.
He wasn't around to scare away my first boyfriend.
My dad wont be here to see me graduate from highschool.
He wont be here to walk me down the aisle.
He wont be around to be called "Grandpa"
He won't be here for so many major events in my life.
No one knows how much that hurts.
No one.
Except for a select few people.
I have been blessed with people like Matt, Michelle, and Travis, who know exactly what it's like to lose someone.
They are the only ones who can truely say they understand.
But I still can't help but feel alone..
the buzzing of his tools
the way he yelled at me when I did wrong
the way he always made things better after a big fight
How smart he was
the rough texture of his hands
the safe feeling he left me with
the way his bierd tickled my skin when he kissed my cheek
how he used to tuck me in like a mermaid at night
the way he used to caress my face
How he always made room for me in bed when I couldn't sleep
The bear hugs he gave
His voice
How I could talk to him about anything
The way he grinned and snorted when he found something funny
His scent
Late night trips to twisty cone, and the corner store
car shows
movie nights
How he was so optamistic, or at least he seemed to be
How brave he was
The slam of his truck door
the roaring of his engine
watching the news or history channel in the morning, before he took me to school
How he seemed to make everything all better
The way things were when he was around..
so many things have changed since he's been gone.
I really miss my dad.
And tonight Matt made me realize how much I really miss him.
Sure, in September it will be 4 years.
But it seems like yesterday that he left me.
Some people think I'm pathedic for not being over it yet.
These people don't know what it's like to lose someone so close to you.
I will never get over it.
Recently, I expressed to michelle how alone I felt.
How I felt I didn't really have a best friend.
I used to.
It was my dad.
And I just wish to god he was still around, becuase then I could be ignorant to this feeling like everyone else.
But I don't have that luxury.
He wasn't around to scare away my first boyfriend.
My dad wont be here to see me graduate from highschool.
He wont be here to walk me down the aisle.
He wont be around to be called "Grandpa"
He won't be here for so many major events in my life.
No one knows how much that hurts.
No one.
Except for a select few people.
I have been blessed with people like Matt, Michelle, and Travis, who know exactly what it's like to lose someone.
They are the only ones who can truely say they understand.
But I still can't help but feel alone..