the difference between right & wrong.
being suspended from school has changed me a lot, in all honesty i havent learned a lesson. there hasent been much punishment except for my phone being taken away, and me not being able to go anywhere. i deleted mine & jons myspace today. all myspace does for us, is get me cheated on. so i put a stop to that, if he decides to make another one, well then he decides that he doesnt want to be with me. im almost 18 and i dont need to be dealing with any bullshit, hes not in school anymore he made that decision and he should be able to make the decision as to whom he wants to be with, and how he treats others. i love him more than anything, and its not that "middle school" love either. its something that i know, because when im with him i can feel that. but what has to be done has to be done. i really wish i could see jonathan, this whole suspension thing is getting really old. and i still have until tuesday. i thought this would put a damper on our relationship; hopefully im wrong. lately i've been over thinking everything its kinda insane. i have fear of rejection and being fucked over again, i think thats something that will always haunt me, i dont mean rejection like me being rejected by someone new or anything i mean rejected by him. and fucked over by him. im so scared that, thats going to happen again. i dont think that most girls have been what ive been through, and if they have im sure they put a stop to it, but not me...it keeps happening.
i hope since we've hit 2 years that it changed him, made him realize something. i dont know. im rambling. im bored. and i want to leave my house.