(no subject)
Recently, I've been feeling really weak. I'm always tired. I played outside for 2 minutes and could hardly breathe. I'm hardly breathing now...
I can't eat veggies, because they make me vomit. I can't eat more than about 5 crackers without getting sharp stomach pains. I always feel so empty, but when I eat a little, I feel insanely full.
And I feel like I'm living in my own little world all the time. Like nothing is real.
So, I'm not that great right now.
Asked jordan out. She said yes. Made me feel good. And Rebecca is here, so that makes me feel good too, but at the same time not, because I feel like being alone again. I really like being around her, but I just feel like... I don't know, like I'm acting? Like I'm an actor and I'm putting on a show. If I'm not moving enough or talking enough then the show sucks and I've failed, so I have to keep going. I always kind of feel like that.
I can't eat veggies, because they make me vomit. I can't eat more than about 5 crackers without getting sharp stomach pains. I always feel so empty, but when I eat a little, I feel insanely full.
And I feel like I'm living in my own little world all the time. Like nothing is real.
So, I'm not that great right now.
Asked jordan out. She said yes. Made me feel good. And Rebecca is here, so that makes me feel good too, but at the same time not, because I feel like being alone again. I really like being around her, but I just feel like... I don't know, like I'm acting? Like I'm an actor and I'm putting on a show. If I'm not moving enough or talking enough then the show sucks and I've failed, so I have to keep going. I always kind of feel like that.