"This one time at band camp..."
"Love can be a terrifying, multifaceted concept. It ranges from having some sort of schoolgirl crush, to lust, to a deep connection with someone, and back again. It can be less intense, but rooted more deeply - like the love one feels for friends and family. And if you are lucky, it can be all that and more, where you find the person who is always there for you, makes you happy, and just feels like home."
I wrote those words for Geoff as part of our wedding vows, but as time progresses; the words only get stronger and the sentiment only rings more true. He has crossed the lines and become that one person who has been to hell and back with me. We were young lovers, who married early and were so filled with lust and passion. Band geeks. All of the jokes found in "American Pie" were true, and yes, I was one of those dorky girls making out with a male counterpart from a similar caste in the high school lunch room, while the other cliques scoffed at us.
Geoff was 6'2" and weighed 150 pounds, and his body resembled a Muppet version of pelican if you could count his beard as a beak. As far as his facial features, he looked like an Irish cousin of Prince Harry, with the most fiery red hair I had ever seen, at least as red as could be from a color that didn't come from a bottle housed in box with a fashion model on it. He wore glasses; he loved all things "Hobbit" related. Because of this fact, his namesake, and his overgrown beard, he often got teased and called "Gandolf, which I think he secretly loved. He had maintained facial hair since middle school, and was the cutest little kid before then. We had known each other all of our lives, that just how it was in our tiny little town in rural Oklahoma. His clothes always looked two sizes to big, which I understand now, as he constantly complains that it is difficult to find shirts that both fit his frame and his wingspan. He was a cute dork. And I guess so was I.
Brenna Jo. I was just one of those general mousey girl next door types. I wasn't overly attractive, but I wasn't ugly. I had a pretty generic sense of style, and didn't wear makeup. I was 5'7" not thin, not fat; but the typical size 8 or so that lies between the thin and the plus size. I was a talented musician, I always had been. I had started taking piano lessons at 5, moved to the clarinet and then saxophone in middle school. It all came very easily to me. Of course, Geoff played guitar but he was far from being any kind of rock star. We were both pretty happy just being in jazz band in high school, which is where we began our romantic relationship during our sophomore year in high school.
Together we saw all of the American Pie movies as they were released, relating a bit too much to Michelle and all of the band camp jokes, as they hit so close to home for us. We had far too many lurid hook-ups and weird experiments with various woodwinds and other instruments. Watching the franchise, we often laughed until we had tears in our eyes, and grasped each other’s hands during the more touching moments.
We stayed high school sweethearts, and then got married pretty much as soon as we graduated. He went on to college to study aeronautical engineering, and I took courses in human services and worked with children in an after school program.
We had a pretty typical young married life. We did the college thing, drank too much, and went to too many parties, made some bad choices. But we did it together, talked through the hard times, and just made the commitment. Many young couples probably would have split up over some of the things we went through, but we just worked it out. I'm sure it didn't hurt that our sex life was very healthy.
You know all those jokes about "it's always the quiet ones"? Well, in my case I guess you would have to say it was true. Geoff and I were very active sexually in high school, and really branched out as newly weds. Before you make an assumption about the effect that "50 Shades of Grey" had on everyone, you can stop that train of thought. We were involved with something much more real, and more tangible than any of that garbage about releasing an "inner goddess". We just both enjoyed taking turns while assisting the other in sensory overload. I often had the fleeting thought of "What the hell would our families think?" if they found our little lock box of goodies that were stashed under the bed. Rope, and mountain climbing hooks, various lengths of chains, and handcuffs. Silk handkerchiefs, black "sleeping" masks, and various battery operated devices. What? Didn't everyone have this stuff? I just can't imagine...
I smirk even now thinking of that. The sad fact is, now that we've entered yet another huge milestone, I'm not sure how to get back to that stuff. It's been awhile since we've had even boring missionary sex.
I'm a new mom. Geoff and I always both loved children and wanted at least one of our own, but I'm sure either of us really knew how much that would change our lives. Little Dexter (named after both the Cartoon network scientist, and the Showtime serial killer) is amazing. I've never known love, joy, and outright fear like I have since he came into our lives. I remember almost leaving the grocery store once with his baby seat still on top of the car, with him strapped firmly in it. God, I felt like I must be the worst mother in the world when that happened. So, I went through this "Education is everything: phase after that. Sure I had read "What to Expect when you're expecting" and I had lots of training in my job before I had Dex, so it wasn't like feeding and changing was anything new. Even dealing with the crying wasn't so bad. But I was just so overwhelmed. I started looking into and reading all of these new mommy blogs online. A few offered some good information, but after reading so many poorly written diatribes about what other people went through such as, "I found out that Tom was the father, and he was living out of state. His parents were sure that I had just made the whole thing up to trap him, because that is what his ex had done."; I stopped. That example is one of the lesser "Jerry Springer" stories I found. I'm not trying to be rude or pass judgment, but I really wondered if I had much in common with these very young, unmarried parents with minimal education. I think the experiences just varied much too greatly from what I had gone through for me to relate to what I was reading.
I also really struggled some with the things I had to give up. No more late nights out, dropping everything to take a trip across town to see friends or go to a concert. Nope, that just wasn't going to happen. However, if those thoughts ever really started to get to me, all I had to do was pick up Dexter and look at the little face, and feel that little heartbeat next to my chest; and I knew it was all worth it.
I wondered how Geoff was adjusting. He just seemed to be a natural. All things fatherhood seemed to just flow out of him with ease. The only thing I knew he was struggling with was the aforementioned lack of sex. We were both still adjusting to the newness and our schedules, and were always exhausted. I had a recent doctor's appointment that had cleared me for intercourse again, Geoff and I had decided with certainty we wanted to wait to make sure that baby #2 wouldn't be coming along right after little Dexter. So I decided to take some action.
My hubs had been so understanding of my needs, so I planned a grown up night out for Geoff and I, as well as some friends from his office that we had recently gotten to be quite close with. Jules and Fred would meet us for dinner, and I had a sitter lined up so we could have a few drinks and enjoy ourselves.
"We just really need adult conversation", I told G; leaving out a few of the most notable details.
"Bren, I just know I'm not really going to be in the mood for a fancy dinner." he told me through a grimace.
"Don't worry, we'll just go to Olive Garden or something".
He still didn't seem thrilled but he agreed and that made it all the more exciting. After a few weeks of making off hand comments about things he would rather be doing, the night finally arrived. I quietly got ready before he came home from work, making sure that each piece of my underwear looked perfect. The bra and panties matched the lace in the thigh high stockings, and as I slid my jeans and T-shirt over the intricate undergarments, there was no sign of what was just underneath the surface. I had called in a favor to my sister, who would be watching Dexter overnight. I had also taken the liberty of getting the same room at the local motel; where we had gone in the early years when we still lived with our parents. It was a little seedy, but clean and private. Inside the room I had set out candles and few of our favorite items had been placed in the nightstand next to the bed.
Geoff came home and changed, and made one more little dig before we started our evening; "I don't even feel like pasta and the wine there is terrible." I smirked. I couldn't wait to see his face after dinner, as he realized what was in store for us. I smoothed the strap of my bra over my T-shirt and just said, "Oh, I think you'll be quite happy, G. You might just end up enjoying this evening more that you expect."
I wrote those words for Geoff as part of our wedding vows, but as time progresses; the words only get stronger and the sentiment only rings more true. He has crossed the lines and become that one person who has been to hell and back with me. We were young lovers, who married early and were so filled with lust and passion. Band geeks. All of the jokes found in "American Pie" were true, and yes, I was one of those dorky girls making out with a male counterpart from a similar caste in the high school lunch room, while the other cliques scoffed at us.
Geoff was 6'2" and weighed 150 pounds, and his body resembled a Muppet version of pelican if you could count his beard as a beak. As far as his facial features, he looked like an Irish cousin of Prince Harry, with the most fiery red hair I had ever seen, at least as red as could be from a color that didn't come from a bottle housed in box with a fashion model on it. He wore glasses; he loved all things "Hobbit" related. Because of this fact, his namesake, and his overgrown beard, he often got teased and called "Gandolf, which I think he secretly loved. He had maintained facial hair since middle school, and was the cutest little kid before then. We had known each other all of our lives, that just how it was in our tiny little town in rural Oklahoma. His clothes always looked two sizes to big, which I understand now, as he constantly complains that it is difficult to find shirts that both fit his frame and his wingspan. He was a cute dork. And I guess so was I.
Brenna Jo. I was just one of those general mousey girl next door types. I wasn't overly attractive, but I wasn't ugly. I had a pretty generic sense of style, and didn't wear makeup. I was 5'7" not thin, not fat; but the typical size 8 or so that lies between the thin and the plus size. I was a talented musician, I always had been. I had started taking piano lessons at 5, moved to the clarinet and then saxophone in middle school. It all came very easily to me. Of course, Geoff played guitar but he was far from being any kind of rock star. We were both pretty happy just being in jazz band in high school, which is where we began our romantic relationship during our sophomore year in high school.
Together we saw all of the American Pie movies as they were released, relating a bit too much to Michelle and all of the band camp jokes, as they hit so close to home for us. We had far too many lurid hook-ups and weird experiments with various woodwinds and other instruments. Watching the franchise, we often laughed until we had tears in our eyes, and grasped each other’s hands during the more touching moments.
We stayed high school sweethearts, and then got married pretty much as soon as we graduated. He went on to college to study aeronautical engineering, and I took courses in human services and worked with children in an after school program.
We had a pretty typical young married life. We did the college thing, drank too much, and went to too many parties, made some bad choices. But we did it together, talked through the hard times, and just made the commitment. Many young couples probably would have split up over some of the things we went through, but we just worked it out. I'm sure it didn't hurt that our sex life was very healthy.
You know all those jokes about "it's always the quiet ones"? Well, in my case I guess you would have to say it was true. Geoff and I were very active sexually in high school, and really branched out as newly weds. Before you make an assumption about the effect that "50 Shades of Grey" had on everyone, you can stop that train of thought. We were involved with something much more real, and more tangible than any of that garbage about releasing an "inner goddess". We just both enjoyed taking turns while assisting the other in sensory overload. I often had the fleeting thought of "What the hell would our families think?" if they found our little lock box of goodies that were stashed under the bed. Rope, and mountain climbing hooks, various lengths of chains, and handcuffs. Silk handkerchiefs, black "sleeping" masks, and various battery operated devices. What? Didn't everyone have this stuff? I just can't imagine...
I smirk even now thinking of that. The sad fact is, now that we've entered yet another huge milestone, I'm not sure how to get back to that stuff. It's been awhile since we've had even boring missionary sex.
I'm a new mom. Geoff and I always both loved children and wanted at least one of our own, but I'm sure either of us really knew how much that would change our lives. Little Dexter (named after both the Cartoon network scientist, and the Showtime serial killer) is amazing. I've never known love, joy, and outright fear like I have since he came into our lives. I remember almost leaving the grocery store once with his baby seat still on top of the car, with him strapped firmly in it. God, I felt like I must be the worst mother in the world when that happened. So, I went through this "Education is everything: phase after that. Sure I had read "What to Expect when you're expecting" and I had lots of training in my job before I had Dex, so it wasn't like feeding and changing was anything new. Even dealing with the crying wasn't so bad. But I was just so overwhelmed. I started looking into and reading all of these new mommy blogs online. A few offered some good information, but after reading so many poorly written diatribes about what other people went through such as, "I found out that Tom was the father, and he was living out of state. His parents were sure that I had just made the whole thing up to trap him, because that is what his ex had done."; I stopped. That example is one of the lesser "Jerry Springer" stories I found. I'm not trying to be rude or pass judgment, but I really wondered if I had much in common with these very young, unmarried parents with minimal education. I think the experiences just varied much too greatly from what I had gone through for me to relate to what I was reading.
I also really struggled some with the things I had to give up. No more late nights out, dropping everything to take a trip across town to see friends or go to a concert. Nope, that just wasn't going to happen. However, if those thoughts ever really started to get to me, all I had to do was pick up Dexter and look at the little face, and feel that little heartbeat next to my chest; and I knew it was all worth it.
I wondered how Geoff was adjusting. He just seemed to be a natural. All things fatherhood seemed to just flow out of him with ease. The only thing I knew he was struggling with was the aforementioned lack of sex. We were both still adjusting to the newness and our schedules, and were always exhausted. I had a recent doctor's appointment that had cleared me for intercourse again, Geoff and I had decided with certainty we wanted to wait to make sure that baby #2 wouldn't be coming along right after little Dexter. So I decided to take some action.
My hubs had been so understanding of my needs, so I planned a grown up night out for Geoff and I, as well as some friends from his office that we had recently gotten to be quite close with. Jules and Fred would meet us for dinner, and I had a sitter lined up so we could have a few drinks and enjoy ourselves.
"We just really need adult conversation", I told G; leaving out a few of the most notable details.
"Bren, I just know I'm not really going to be in the mood for a fancy dinner." he told me through a grimace.
"Don't worry, we'll just go to Olive Garden or something".
He still didn't seem thrilled but he agreed and that made it all the more exciting. After a few weeks of making off hand comments about things he would rather be doing, the night finally arrived. I quietly got ready before he came home from work, making sure that each piece of my underwear looked perfect. The bra and panties matched the lace in the thigh high stockings, and as I slid my jeans and T-shirt over the intricate undergarments, there was no sign of what was just underneath the surface. I had called in a favor to my sister, who would be watching Dexter overnight. I had also taken the liberty of getting the same room at the local motel; where we had gone in the early years when we still lived with our parents. It was a little seedy, but clean and private. Inside the room I had set out candles and few of our favorite items had been placed in the nightstand next to the bed.
Geoff came home and changed, and made one more little dig before we started our evening; "I don't even feel like pasta and the wine there is terrible." I smirked. I couldn't wait to see his face after dinner, as he realized what was in store for us. I smoothed the strap of my bra over my T-shirt and just said, "Oh, I think you'll be quite happy, G. You might just end up enjoying this evening more that you expect."