(no subject)
Day One
this was the day we left. my little brother chris is in my picture also. he did not go to california.
my mom took this picture.
worst face of brandon on the trip?
nope. there we go. i dont know what was going on. someone probably said "the foo fighters suck."
gary indiana gary indiana gary indiana sucks.
thats all for day one. we stayed at our first motel six that night. not the first one we found though, not even the second. no we had to find three different motel sixes in the greater chicago area before we could finally rest our heads. we drove through a section of town where they had ripped up all of the highway. there was a carnival nearby. we made three illegal u-turns and one legal one. we stopped at a mcdonalds for directions which turned out to be wrong. the first motel six we found gave us directions, which were also wrong. we were supposed to hang out with brandon's roomates m4rk and mithun who are interning in chicago, but were too tired to do much of anything that night. we ordered pizza and a russian man just took my money thinking i was a big tipper, im sure. i got to sleep alone that night. it was sweet.
Day Two
while trying to leave chicago we had as hard a time as we did the night before. we drove around and paid 3 tolls before we were finally granted access from the blues brothers to the rest of the state. viva jake and elwood.
we stayed at motel six across the country. cheap and scary. but always clean. they did not leave the light on for us. we had to turn it on every damn night.
andy brought along his "desert hat" which proved to be anything but, as it was worn everywhere except the desert.
illinois was definetely an awesome state. they have the coolest rest areas ive ever been to.
brandon is lying on the beams above. nice work andy. hey thanks.
illinois is also big sky country. montana is too, but we didnt go there.
our friend betty here told us where to find the world's largest ketchup bottle. she also told us where we shouldnt stop at night if we were women (which we werent) and about the coolest rest area in illinois, which turned out to be not as cool as the other one.
dolinger spit gum out the window and didnt realize it flew back in and stuck to his back and brandons seat.
way to go buddy. way to go.
do we really need air dryers for our hair? how often is that really a problem? if i were an illinois taxpayer id be pissed.
it turns out this isnt the worlds largest ketchup bottle. its a water tower painted like a ketchup bottle. theres a lot of lies out there in america.
i know it looks like im pooping on the sign. its cool.
st. louis
this is known as the gateway to the west. it was symbolic.
brandon loves this picture. if you talk to him hell probably show it to you. i like it too.
there was a buffalo.
so apparently in st. louis, or missouri, there is a hooters-style restaurant called "show-me's", since missouri is the show me state. the girls wear BLUE shorts, so its totally different. but they have the same crappy wings as hooters so..
that night we stayed in Columbus, MO. we found the hotel without difficulty and walked to a bar next door which served 150 different beers. the cardinals were playing so everyone was in heat. andy left a meager tip for our meager service, and brandon and he got into an argument over it. it was silly and quite funny, but not to either of them. a biker next door to us parked his bike directly in front of his door and started it up about ten minutes after we returned from the bar. it was very loud. we also passed into the CENTRAL TIME ZONE which was quite a thrill.
Day Three
in the morning we realized we had a shitty day ahead of us. kansas was coming, and we had to drive through the entire state. if you ever have the chance to drive across kansas for any reason, dont. i dont know if its better in the states north of it, or in the states south of it, but kansas is pretty awful. im sure the state itself is nice, but the drive is terrible, you can see for miles in every direction, which is nice for maybe an hour, but by ten it gets pretty monotonous.
yeah parky what a great mascot. especially since theres like a ton of kangaroos in kansas.
we had to make the best of the rest areas we stopped at.
kansas also sucked because it was our first and only speeding ticket of the trip. its easy to go 90 miles an hour when there is nothing around you to gauge your speed... except that speedometer. the cop pulled beside us and i waved, but he didnt wave back, only yelled at us to pull over. which we did, to the wrong side of the road. so he stopped traffic on the highway so we could get to the right side.
at the end of kansas, there is a place that is soon to be shut down by pEta. the crazy old man who runs prarie dog town eats rattlesnakes and cares not for animal rights.
obviously.
30 rattlesnakes in a cage. it smelled pretty rank.
apparently, this guy also found several mythical creatures in kansas. like this jackalope, a cross between a jackrabbit and an.. antelope.
now this thing probably isnt fake, since its been known to happen. but who stuffs one and mounts half of it on a wall? well, rattlesnake man does.
prarie dogs run free in the backyard here, there are nests of them everywhere, and they just run up to you and then run away squealing.
yeah, six legs. two hang out there under his ass. apparently ABC was just there filming the cow to be on the today show or something soon.
there were two cages with coyotes. one with foxes. several russian pigs. peacocks, geese, turkeys.. buffalo. whatever you can think of.
oh and badgers. they hissed at us.
the sign reads "this is the worlds only fur bearing rattlesnake in the world". rattlesnake man glued rabbit fur to a stuffed rattlesnake. GENIUS!
soon we passed into colorado, and learned how they felt about their cops.
that night we stayed in denver. the sprinklers at the hotel sprayed directly at our door which was probably the coolest thing ever.
adult swim was on vacation too. and apparently we have some of the same interests.
why dont we call ourselves rod torkelson's armada featuring herman menderchuck?