(no subject)
life is so fucking beautiful. day in & day out we strive to obtain true happiness (the definition of happiness being completely different to each person) & bleed tears whenever the slightest little conflict occurs (at least i do). jealousy, hatred, hypocrisy, critiscism, judgements flood our brains & our hearts causing us to deny sympathy, passion, everything that is: goodness, love, truth, & beauty. misery, heartache, depression are all inevitable. but, you grab onto those feelings & you learn from your mistakes. my problem is not letting go of intangible romance. (TODAY I: cried at 6 AM, cried in my bed till 12, cried on the way to the gym, cried on the treadmill, cried on the floor at total woman, cried in the dressing room of forever 21, cried while waiting in the tanning salon, cried in god damn the tanning bed.) when you give yourself to someone, you pour your heart out to them & they do exactly the same to you (ie: let them recognize your problems, your fears, your insecurities...), & you accept them just as they are & they accept you just as you are, that's when you know. then it ends, well cos it always ends. & you become enraptured in guilt, regret, hatred, jealousy. every ounce of happiness you knew fucking dissolves, no fucking shatters in a matter on seconds. your confidence is nonexistant & you truly believe you should no longer be living. but fuck, you move on. you cherish your memories & remember those feelings (that only that one person could implement). the most important thing, is to never ever deny your love for someone cos that's fucking ridiculous. each relationship molds you into that unique person that you are. every new relationship guarentees a new quality or a new part of your personallity to become exposed. & you learn from your tears, you understand that tears are life & those tears are honestly, beautiful. who knows what happens tomorrow or the next day, or the next? you can't worry, you keep living every day to the fucking fullest & you discover new things that make you happy. i'm fucking happy & seriously content with my life. & i am DONE. thanks & goodnight. oh, & the most important thing ever is that TIMING IS EVERYTHING.