(no subject)
I started school a few weeks ago. Its been pretty hardcore since. I'm tired a lot of the time. I don't feel like it's just "I'm back in school" anymore. I think that I should have adjusted by now. I had a weak spell one day this week while working on cutting steel on the chop saw. My hand cramped due to what felt like a pinched nerve as I cut the steel. Don't know what that's about...
On another note, it seems that its almost impossible for me to have a lasting friendship with a woman I know, that I used to be romantically interested in. Perhaps this is the peril of long distance relations. Compiled onto the idea that I might be looking towards the wrong people in my search for "someone". Its as if I believe, if they love me, they won't hurt me anymore. I am wrong in this belief. Because they will. I put myself through so much shit for some people, for little to no reward. And sometimes I "get" to hear about some other guy who's actually closer to the person I want. and I get to hear about all the things they're doing. I'm forced to play the role of the friend, the council, but nothing closer. I have to stop looking to save people as well. But yet, I want to help someone who is in need. They WILL destroy me. You cannot save people. Especially not from themselves.
reporting from DragonCon
On another note, it seems that its almost impossible for me to have a lasting friendship with a woman I know, that I used to be romantically interested in. Perhaps this is the peril of long distance relations. Compiled onto the idea that I might be looking towards the wrong people in my search for "someone". Its as if I believe, if they love me, they won't hurt me anymore. I am wrong in this belief. Because they will. I put myself through so much shit for some people, for little to no reward. And sometimes I "get" to hear about some other guy who's actually closer to the person I want. and I get to hear about all the things they're doing. I'm forced to play the role of the friend, the council, but nothing closer. I have to stop looking to save people as well. But yet, I want to help someone who is in need. They WILL destroy me. You cannot save people. Especially not from themselves.
reporting from DragonCon