(no subject)
I know its loooong, but read it.
please hear what im not saying
Dont be fooled by me. dont be fooled by the face i wear. for i wear a mask, i wear a thousand masks, masks that im afraid to take off, and none of them are me.
pretending is an art thats second nature to with me, but dont be fooled. for gods sake dont be fooled.
i give you the impression that im secure, thats all is sunny and unruffled with me, within as well as without, that confidence is my name, and coolness my game, that the waters calm and im in command and that i need no one.
but dont believe me, please
my surface may seem smooth, but my surface is my mask, my ever varying and ever-concealing mask
benath lies no smugness, no complacence
beneath dwells the real me, in confusin, in fear, in aloneness. but i hide this. i dont want anybody to know it. i panic at the thought of my weakness and fear of being exposed. thats why i frantically create a mask to hide behind, a nonchalant sophisticated facade, to help me pretend, to shield me from the glace that knows.
but such a glace is precisely my salvation. my own salvation. and i know it. that is if its followed by acceptance, if its followed by love.
its the only thing that can liberate me from myself, from my own self built prison walls, from the barriers that i so painstakingly erect. its the only thing that will assure me of what i cant assure myself, that im really worth something.
but i dont tell you this, i dont dare. im afraid to. im afraid you'll think less of me, that you'll laugh, and your laugh would kill me.
im afraid that deep down im nothing, that im just no good, and that you will see this and reject me.
so i play my game, my desperate pretending game, a facade of assurance without and trembling child within and so begins to parade of masks, the glittering but empty parade of masks.
and my life becomes a front. i idly chatter to you in the suave tone of surface talk. i tell you everything thats really nothing, and nothing of whats everything, of whats crying within me. so when im through my routine, do not be fooled by what im saying. please listen carefully and try to hear what im not saying. What id like to be able to say; what for survival i need to say, but cant say.
i dislike hiding, honestly. i dislike the superficial game im playing, the superficial phoney game. id really like to be genuine and spontaneous, and me, but youve got to help me. youve got to hold out your hand even when thats the last thing i seem to want or need. only you can wipe away from my eyes the blank stare of the breathing dead. only you can call me into aliveness.
each time your kind and gentle, and encouraging. each time you try to understand because you really care, my heart begins to grow wings, very small, very feeble, but wings. with your sensitivity, and sympathy, and your power of understanding, you can breathe life into me. i want you to know that, i want you to know how important you are to me, how you can be a creator of the person that is me if you choose to.
please choose to. you alone can break down the wall behind which i tremble, you alone can remove my mask, you alone can release me from my shadow world of panic and uncertainty, from my lonley prison. so do not pass me by. please do not pass me by.
it will not be easy for you. a long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls; the nearer you approach to me, the harder i may strike back. its irrational, but despite what books say about man, i am irrational.
i fight against the very things i cry out for. and in this lies my hope. my only hope.
please try to beat down those walls with firm gentle hands. for a child is a very sensitive
who am i, you may wonder. i am somebody you know very well. for i am every man you meet and every women you meet.
the boy who wrote this poem for a school essay handed it in and then went and shot himself in the school field .. sad huh?
please hear what im not saying
Dont be fooled by me. dont be fooled by the face i wear. for i wear a mask, i wear a thousand masks, masks that im afraid to take off, and none of them are me.
pretending is an art thats second nature to with me, but dont be fooled. for gods sake dont be fooled.
i give you the impression that im secure, thats all is sunny and unruffled with me, within as well as without, that confidence is my name, and coolness my game, that the waters calm and im in command and that i need no one.
but dont believe me, please
my surface may seem smooth, but my surface is my mask, my ever varying and ever-concealing mask
benath lies no smugness, no complacence
beneath dwells the real me, in confusin, in fear, in aloneness. but i hide this. i dont want anybody to know it. i panic at the thought of my weakness and fear of being exposed. thats why i frantically create a mask to hide behind, a nonchalant sophisticated facade, to help me pretend, to shield me from the glace that knows.
but such a glace is precisely my salvation. my own salvation. and i know it. that is if its followed by acceptance, if its followed by love.
its the only thing that can liberate me from myself, from my own self built prison walls, from the barriers that i so painstakingly erect. its the only thing that will assure me of what i cant assure myself, that im really worth something.
but i dont tell you this, i dont dare. im afraid to. im afraid you'll think less of me, that you'll laugh, and your laugh would kill me.
im afraid that deep down im nothing, that im just no good, and that you will see this and reject me.
so i play my game, my desperate pretending game, a facade of assurance without and trembling child within and so begins to parade of masks, the glittering but empty parade of masks.
and my life becomes a front. i idly chatter to you in the suave tone of surface talk. i tell you everything thats really nothing, and nothing of whats everything, of whats crying within me. so when im through my routine, do not be fooled by what im saying. please listen carefully and try to hear what im not saying. What id like to be able to say; what for survival i need to say, but cant say.
i dislike hiding, honestly. i dislike the superficial game im playing, the superficial phoney game. id really like to be genuine and spontaneous, and me, but youve got to help me. youve got to hold out your hand even when thats the last thing i seem to want or need. only you can wipe away from my eyes the blank stare of the breathing dead. only you can call me into aliveness.
each time your kind and gentle, and encouraging. each time you try to understand because you really care, my heart begins to grow wings, very small, very feeble, but wings. with your sensitivity, and sympathy, and your power of understanding, you can breathe life into me. i want you to know that, i want you to know how important you are to me, how you can be a creator of the person that is me if you choose to.
please choose to. you alone can break down the wall behind which i tremble, you alone can remove my mask, you alone can release me from my shadow world of panic and uncertainty, from my lonley prison. so do not pass me by. please do not pass me by.
it will not be easy for you. a long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls; the nearer you approach to me, the harder i may strike back. its irrational, but despite what books say about man, i am irrational.
i fight against the very things i cry out for. and in this lies my hope. my only hope.
please try to beat down those walls with firm gentle hands. for a child is a very sensitive
who am i, you may wonder. i am somebody you know very well. for i am every man you meet and every women you meet.
the boy who wrote this poem for a school essay handed it in and then went and shot himself in the school field .. sad huh?