(no subject)
i hate myself. i'm a failure. no wonder i cant do anything right. i cant even draw a freakin journal cover. and come up with a creative title for it. i freakin come up with dynamite. what kind of title is that. its retarded. then i draw the dang thing on there and it looks like shit. but of course glitter glue doesnt come off when you try to wash it off. so i try to make it look nicer by drawing a tree and clouds on it. but apparently, i have the artistic talents of a 2 year old and screw it up even more. so now my 11CP English assignment/project looks like a 1st grade show and tell drawing. fuck that. i'm not turning it in tomorrow. and i'm going to fail for the first time in my life. i'm fucking tired. i didnt do the student notes for fst. i didnt do the questions for section 7-8. i didnt even try to do the questions. i'm not going to try to do the questions because i cant think. i cant think because my journal is a piece of shit and i'm going to fail. i'm going to fall behind in math. i'm going to be the only one who doesnt freakin understand math because i dont do my homework. and i'm going to fail. and i'm so sick right now and i cant even breathe right. i havent eaten since i dont even know when. i'm hungry. rob thinks i'm overworking myself. but all i'm doing is sitting on my butt here at the computer doing absolutely nothing. when i should be doing other stuff like my math homework. i hate java. because i dont understand it. i needed kevin to help me with almost every single problem on the worksheet. and i'm going to be completely clueless for the test on friday. i can never keep up with mr supal. i dont understand the chem reading. i barely even read it.and i hate valentines day because hallmark stole it and made it stupid. asoufasdopufpasdjfas. i'm really cold and its snowing a lot outside. and i dont want a snow day. but i dont want to go to school. and i have to walk through a stupid ditch to get home from the bus after school every day. and tomorrow that dumb ditch will have about 4 feet of snow in it. and i will have to walk through it. and i hate getting my socks wet. i'm about to cry right now because i'm so stressed out. and i want to go to sleep. but i cant because i still have to try to fix my journal. which i realize right now is literally impossible. because glitter glue and pastels dont wash off. and i still have my math to do. and reread chem to try to somewhat comprehend it. and i still have to do laundry. i'm breaking out like no other because i'm kinda stressed out right now. so my face looks like shit. and i feel like crap. and i'm even starting to put random periods in the middle of my sentences. fafjcvc'afksfp;irfdsf;j i was so excited for inside out day tomorrow. but i'm not even going to do it anymore. on account of me not going to be very spirited after 3rd hour when i get to receive my F on my journal cover that i spent 2.5 hours on. and ended up looking like shit. and i'm fucking hungry as hell. i probably have an eating disorder because i stave myself when i have other things to do. like math homework. and i still havent done the laundry yet. which i was supposed to do on the weekend. and now my brother is complaining that he doesnt have gym clothes. so i have to do it tonight. and i probably wont have time to sleep or anything since i still have that little journal and math homework dilemma. because i suck at everything. and my life fails. and i just ate an orange and swallowed a seed and threw my entire orange back up. no wonder i'm hungry. i cant even keep my food down. i cant keep my food down because i'm sick because i cant keep my food down because i'm sick... it never ends.