I loved you you never had to say

[xcherry16kissx]

I'm beginning to have doubts about a lot of things and where I stand. I guess it's a little too late to be having doubts and second thoughts but the thing is- is that I am... I just don't feel like it's ever going to be enough like I'm ever going to be enough. Like I thought I would be okay with Ben's past and trying to get over the strip club

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[xcherry16kissx]

I know exactly what you mean- Ben has nothing to do with his ex- but she has a picture of them on her myspace and it eats me alive and then I found an old website he had and it was this huge thing talking about how great she was and how they had so much chemistry when they first met and how perfect she was blah blah blah and im like that's not really something I wanted to read- but it was written a year and a half ago before we even met so I don't know what the big deal is but it still bugs me because I dont want to think he ever felt the way I feel about him towards anybody else ya know? and it just sucks because he did get married and thats one thing it said in the website was how badly they wanted to get married and they tried to get married all the time and stuff and it's like but he tells me it wasnt a real marriage- they were married 2 months and then he moved back to raleigh with his parents and they talked all the way up till july and then me and him met july 15th and he quit talking to her- like he said it never meant anything to him and it was all her and he was brainwashed and everything but i just have a hard time seeing it and it's so weird that i have a hard time trusting him because it's like i odnt ever think he would cheat on me but i dont believe him when he says his past meant nothing and he was confused and didnt know how he really felt. ahh what is wrong with these guys erykah lol