Road Trip 2012, part 1
We're halfway through our road trip to Cape Cod.
Saturday, 9/29
We awoke to skywriters making dueling insults in the sky to cheer on their Ryder cup favorites. Innocuous statements along the lines of "GO USA" quickly became "REAL MEN DON'T WEAR SKIRTS." They were difficult to read as the sky was partly cloudy.
We met up with Sarah Koncos who gave us a lovely tour of her Miami University campus in Oxford, Ohio. The town was full of young spoiled coeds wearing outfits unsuited for the cold. The three of us didn't fit in - not that I wanted to - with Mike wearing his Aperture Labs work shirt and Sarah in plaid, and me in... black.
Dinner at Bagel & Deli was everything I hoped it would be. B&Ds has a gigantic menu of bagel sandwich concoctions that are cooked in a steamer. It's pretty amazing. The names of the sandwiches are often witty and slightly off-color as their clientèle is mostly mobs of drunk kids - names like, "Tanya Harding Club."
Afterwards, we went down to Stienkeller's, a German pub who specializes in true German beer, purity laws and all.
All in all, we had a great time hanging out with Sarah in Oxford.
Sunday, 9/30
Driving from Ohio to Pennsylvania, the trees are perfectly turning their fall colors. If you selected three trees at random, one would have green leaves, the other yellow, and the last red. And this is while driving over the big rolling hills of the Appalachian Mountains.
While driving through Columbus, Ohio, our ideal route was rendered not-so-ideal by construction. We started on a second route, missed a turn, and quickly got stopped by a recently overturned semi and a gaggle of emergency vehicles. While we could see the semi from where we were stopped, we had no idea how many cars were involved or if anyone got hurt. But we do know that it stopped all lanes of a six lane highway. And by stopped I meant we turned the car off and waited fifteen minutes. I was waiting for someone to play "Everybody Hurts." Immediately following, we had to get off the highway to do a U-ie. So what should've been a routine drive through turned out to be pretty crazy.
Lunch was fun. Located in Pittsburgh, he first of our "Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives" restaurants I chose looked like a hole on the outside judging by the Google Maps street view, but the reviews were better than any other "Triple-D" place in southwestern Pennsylvania. As we drove through Pitt and into the neighborhood, we were pretty impressed. Everything looked nice! Then we turned on to the road where our destination was. Yeah, it really is a dive... and kinda scary. So we hid our luggage, went in... and it was a dive on the inside too. But when we was a menu, we started feeling better. And when our sandwiches arrived, we knew we made the right choice. They were delicious and huge!
After that, the remaining four hours of driving somehow felt like twice that as we wound our way through the Pennsylvania Turnpike. Would be fantastic at day, but it was tiresome at night. At least the first half of the day's driving was great.
Monday, 10/1
The day began with realizing how deluxe our hotel is: nearly olympic-sized outdoor pool surrounded by balconied rooms with a dance floor for weddings and a outdoor hot tub that I think was running all night. Last night, I was kinda tempted to use the hot tub, but too tired to run outside in the cold.
Our stop for food in New Jersey was Jefferson Diner - another “Triple-D” spot that happened to be on “Unwrapped” as well, as we would learn from their in-house self-advertising. I liked the look of the place: authentic fifties-era old-fashioned; not kitschy like Portillo’s near us is. My favorite thing was the ten-page menu. I wound up with a meal from the section, “Big Fat Greek Platters” that had a quarter of spinach pie, stuffed grape leaves, calamari, pita bread, and blocks of feta cheese served with tomato, some kind of yogurt dip, and marinara sauce. I think both sauces were homemade. The calamari was excellent, and I don’t even like squid. The stuffed grape leaves didn’t look like dog shit, unfortunately. And how does one get blocks of feta? I’ve never seen it in block form. The highlights of Mike’s meal were the perfect waffle fries and ultra-rich Oreo cookie ice cream shake. Overall, another big meal that didn’t disappoint.
As planned, we drove through New York City just to see the Manhattan skyline. While the skyline was indeed impressive, our view from George Washington Bridge was hampered by a railing perfectly in our line of sight. So while the photos were shit, it still looked cool to us. Driving through Manhattan on the “Cross Bronx Expressway” was pretty intense: tunnels, bridges, construction, traffic, and bumps so big even locals were hitting the brakes. It was the epitome of “urban.”
Before arriving at our destination in Cape Cod, Jason invited us to drop in at his work - a Stop And Shop grocery. I finally got to pull a crude prank that I’ve been wanting to pull since he was a grocer in Milwaukee: buying nothing but a cucumber and a tub of Vaseline. I wound up getting squash because it looked more phallic. Jason didn’t even notice until we mentioned that he didn’t react. I’m so much more glad that I finally got to pull that prank than I should be.
For this and the next two nights we’ll be staying in Jason’s cottage. We really didn’t know what to think of it, based on his descriptions. Upon arrival, I was a bit spooked by the isolation of it, and Mike was made uneasy by what he described as bugs. I saw no bugs. While it smells of old wood and is pretty rustic... well I’m not sure what he’s concerned about. But I do know he’s in one of the bedrooms, snoring away loudly as I write. Must not be that bad.
The cottage is growing on me already. I love the collection of beer cans high against the living room walls. There must be over two hundred cans, no duplicates. Perhaps most interesting is the different can designs for the same beer. For example, there are four PBR cans, each one from a different era. Also, there’s a PBR Bock. Pabst made a bock?
Oh, and there’s no heating or air conditioning here. Good thing the weather isn’t too cold.
Tuesday, 10/2
Jason's cottage grew on us tremendously. It grew on us as last night wore on, but now that we've seen it in daylight it's totally awesome. And quaint. Overwhelmingly quaint. So quaint I'm gonna die.
We walked down to the shore of the lake that's only about thirty yards from the front door and down a dock to take some photos of ourselves with tea cups in hand because when in New England, do as the New Englanders do... or at least it seemed like something they would do. I was wearing pajamas.
Lunch was again, amazing. Wait, prefacing this lunch like that makes it seem less amazing. Let me try again: Today, we enjoyed the best clam chowder in Cape Cod, as voted by the organization that votes on these things, many years repeating, or something. But I don't need accolades I don't understand to know that this was some top-notch clam chowder. It was rich. Really rich. But not so rich you feel like you're eating a block of butter. It had lots of clam meat. Yeah, it had little bits of clam like you'd expect, but it also had chunks of clam, hunks of clam, and even one entire clam. Meat only, of course. But perhaps the best part of it was the strong, late savory notes that gave a true backbone to every bite. That's what pushed it from "very good" territory to "holy shit" territory. The main course, while outstanding, isn't as fun to describe, but worthy of note is that Mike's fish and chips had two fried fish segments that were the size of a large chicken breast. And they were real fish.
My original, preliminary, basic and bare bones goals for this trip was, and I quote, "Eat at Triple-D places, visit Jason, and eat clam chowda." We are half way through the trip and I've already exceeded my goals. I can go home now, but we're not done yet.
We drove to Provincetown, at the very end of the Cape to check it out. Mike wanted to do some antiquing. We both knew P-town is a gay Mecca. So we went to a gay Mecca for antiquing. Why? Because fuck you. That's why. Holy shit, Provincetown is cute. It's so cozy with its closely packed roads, packed gardens, and butt-packing gays. When we drove in, we started joking that every man we saw was gay, until it became so obvious that most guys here are gay. And while it stopped being funny it became kinda charming... OK, who am I kidding, the faggotry was still funny. Well, it turned out that all the antique shops were closed. Darn it! If I could think of a more faggy curse to insert there I would. All in all, P-town was damn cool, and I'd love to live there, despite the faggotry.
Saturday, 9/29
We awoke to skywriters making dueling insults in the sky to cheer on their Ryder cup favorites. Innocuous statements along the lines of "GO USA" quickly became "REAL MEN DON'T WEAR SKIRTS." They were difficult to read as the sky was partly cloudy.
We met up with Sarah Koncos who gave us a lovely tour of her Miami University campus in Oxford, Ohio. The town was full of young spoiled coeds wearing outfits unsuited for the cold. The three of us didn't fit in - not that I wanted to - with Mike wearing his Aperture Labs work shirt and Sarah in plaid, and me in... black.
Dinner at Bagel & Deli was everything I hoped it would be. B&Ds has a gigantic menu of bagel sandwich concoctions that are cooked in a steamer. It's pretty amazing. The names of the sandwiches are often witty and slightly off-color as their clientèle is mostly mobs of drunk kids - names like, "Tanya Harding Club."
Afterwards, we went down to Stienkeller's, a German pub who specializes in true German beer, purity laws and all.
All in all, we had a great time hanging out with Sarah in Oxford.
Sunday, 9/30
Driving from Ohio to Pennsylvania, the trees are perfectly turning their fall colors. If you selected three trees at random, one would have green leaves, the other yellow, and the last red. And this is while driving over the big rolling hills of the Appalachian Mountains.
While driving through Columbus, Ohio, our ideal route was rendered not-so-ideal by construction. We started on a second route, missed a turn, and quickly got stopped by a recently overturned semi and a gaggle of emergency vehicles. While we could see the semi from where we were stopped, we had no idea how many cars were involved or if anyone got hurt. But we do know that it stopped all lanes of a six lane highway. And by stopped I meant we turned the car off and waited fifteen minutes. I was waiting for someone to play "Everybody Hurts." Immediately following, we had to get off the highway to do a U-ie. So what should've been a routine drive through turned out to be pretty crazy.
Lunch was fun. Located in Pittsburgh, he first of our "Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives" restaurants I chose looked like a hole on the outside judging by the Google Maps street view, but the reviews were better than any other "Triple-D" place in southwestern Pennsylvania. As we drove through Pitt and into the neighborhood, we were pretty impressed. Everything looked nice! Then we turned on to the road where our destination was. Yeah, it really is a dive... and kinda scary. So we hid our luggage, went in... and it was a dive on the inside too. But when we was a menu, we started feeling better. And when our sandwiches arrived, we knew we made the right choice. They were delicious and huge!
After that, the remaining four hours of driving somehow felt like twice that as we wound our way through the Pennsylvania Turnpike. Would be fantastic at day, but it was tiresome at night. At least the first half of the day's driving was great.
Monday, 10/1
The day began with realizing how deluxe our hotel is: nearly olympic-sized outdoor pool surrounded by balconied rooms with a dance floor for weddings and a outdoor hot tub that I think was running all night. Last night, I was kinda tempted to use the hot tub, but too tired to run outside in the cold.
Our stop for food in New Jersey was Jefferson Diner - another “Triple-D” spot that happened to be on “Unwrapped” as well, as we would learn from their in-house self-advertising. I liked the look of the place: authentic fifties-era old-fashioned; not kitschy like Portillo’s near us is. My favorite thing was the ten-page menu. I wound up with a meal from the section, “Big Fat Greek Platters” that had a quarter of spinach pie, stuffed grape leaves, calamari, pita bread, and blocks of feta cheese served with tomato, some kind of yogurt dip, and marinara sauce. I think both sauces were homemade. The calamari was excellent, and I don’t even like squid. The stuffed grape leaves didn’t look like dog shit, unfortunately. And how does one get blocks of feta? I’ve never seen it in block form. The highlights of Mike’s meal were the perfect waffle fries and ultra-rich Oreo cookie ice cream shake. Overall, another big meal that didn’t disappoint.
As planned, we drove through New York City just to see the Manhattan skyline. While the skyline was indeed impressive, our view from George Washington Bridge was hampered by a railing perfectly in our line of sight. So while the photos were shit, it still looked cool to us. Driving through Manhattan on the “Cross Bronx Expressway” was pretty intense: tunnels, bridges, construction, traffic, and bumps so big even locals were hitting the brakes. It was the epitome of “urban.”
Before arriving at our destination in Cape Cod, Jason invited us to drop in at his work - a Stop And Shop grocery. I finally got to pull a crude prank that I’ve been wanting to pull since he was a grocer in Milwaukee: buying nothing but a cucumber and a tub of Vaseline. I wound up getting squash because it looked more phallic. Jason didn’t even notice until we mentioned that he didn’t react. I’m so much more glad that I finally got to pull that prank than I should be.
For this and the next two nights we’ll be staying in Jason’s cottage. We really didn’t know what to think of it, based on his descriptions. Upon arrival, I was a bit spooked by the isolation of it, and Mike was made uneasy by what he described as bugs. I saw no bugs. While it smells of old wood and is pretty rustic... well I’m not sure what he’s concerned about. But I do know he’s in one of the bedrooms, snoring away loudly as I write. Must not be that bad.
The cottage is growing on me already. I love the collection of beer cans high against the living room walls. There must be over two hundred cans, no duplicates. Perhaps most interesting is the different can designs for the same beer. For example, there are four PBR cans, each one from a different era. Also, there’s a PBR Bock. Pabst made a bock?
Oh, and there’s no heating or air conditioning here. Good thing the weather isn’t too cold.
Tuesday, 10/2
Jason's cottage grew on us tremendously. It grew on us as last night wore on, but now that we've seen it in daylight it's totally awesome. And quaint. Overwhelmingly quaint. So quaint I'm gonna die.
We walked down to the shore of the lake that's only about thirty yards from the front door and down a dock to take some photos of ourselves with tea cups in hand because when in New England, do as the New Englanders do... or at least it seemed like something they would do. I was wearing pajamas.
Lunch was again, amazing. Wait, prefacing this lunch like that makes it seem less amazing. Let me try again: Today, we enjoyed the best clam chowder in Cape Cod, as voted by the organization that votes on these things, many years repeating, or something. But I don't need accolades I don't understand to know that this was some top-notch clam chowder. It was rich. Really rich. But not so rich you feel like you're eating a block of butter. It had lots of clam meat. Yeah, it had little bits of clam like you'd expect, but it also had chunks of clam, hunks of clam, and even one entire clam. Meat only, of course. But perhaps the best part of it was the strong, late savory notes that gave a true backbone to every bite. That's what pushed it from "very good" territory to "holy shit" territory. The main course, while outstanding, isn't as fun to describe, but worthy of note is that Mike's fish and chips had two fried fish segments that were the size of a large chicken breast. And they were real fish.
My original, preliminary, basic and bare bones goals for this trip was, and I quote, "Eat at Triple-D places, visit Jason, and eat clam chowda." We are half way through the trip and I've already exceeded my goals. I can go home now, but we're not done yet.
We drove to Provincetown, at the very end of the Cape to check it out. Mike wanted to do some antiquing. We both knew P-town is a gay Mecca. So we went to a gay Mecca for antiquing. Why? Because fuck you. That's why. Holy shit, Provincetown is cute. It's so cozy with its closely packed roads, packed gardens, and butt-packing gays. When we drove in, we started joking that every man we saw was gay, until it became so obvious that most guys here are gay. And while it stopped being funny it became kinda charming... OK, who am I kidding, the faggotry was still funny. Well, it turned out that all the antique shops were closed. Darn it! If I could think of a more faggy curse to insert there I would. All in all, P-town was damn cool, and I'd love to live there, despite the faggotry.