(no subject)
I know you'll be reading this.
It's called a LiveJournal, journal being defined as "a daily written record of (usually personal) experiences and observations".
Whatever I like, love, hate, can't stand, enjoy, am amused by, think is funny, ate, did, or noticed.
If you don't like what I write, then don't look.
Wait...I mean...don't abuse the fact that you have someone's password.
Anyways, while talking about writing "observations" one thing I've observed is how LESS I care about whether or not people like me. I've come to realize that I probably won't see or talk to any of these people in 5 years, so why should I give a damn about their opinions of me?
Oh I wrote things about how Courtney has been annoying me. Big deal. And yea, so she calls and confronts me on "talking crap" (AKA writing how I feel in my LiveJournal under a private setting), and there's no way I'm going to step down and apologize for what I wrote because I'm not sorry. I wrote it in a somewhat-private entry (as in, 3 people are able to read it), and she used Ally's password (I'm guessing) to get access to it.
Court, you're not the same. You're not the person I once knew and loved. That's why I don't care about writing what I wrote, writing what was getting on my nerves. The only thing I can really apologize for sincerely is not knowing your foot was "bothering you" extra badly and that's the reason you completely didn't even get dressed for cheer and sat out. I'm sorry for that, but not really anything else.
Maybe it's wrong of me to think this, but I think you could have at least shown up in practice clothes and done the things that don't involve too much pressure on the foot/heel area, like sitting down during the cheer reviews but at least doing the arm motions and saying the words with us. Tiffany Reese has a knee injury deal going on, but she did what she can. The fact that you didn't...was something from my day that bothered me (pretty much the only thing from my day that bothered me, actually), so I wrote about it.
It doesn't matter who you are.
Whether it was you, or Mikayla, or whoever else. It would have bothered me. I guess it's wrong of me to expect us all to go above and beyond and show true dedication but whatever. I guess it annoys me because if I was in your position, I would have sat with my team and done the cheers while sitting at least. Instead of sitting on the bleachers in my outfit talking on my phone. I was pissed that one of my teammates was doing that. And I couldn't believe that Monday you were wondering if Kathy would be mad if you brought food to practice. I was thinking...who does she think she is?
Oh yea. I don't know anymore. So Court, whatever, be mad, tell people what I wrote. I'm not gonna let it phase me because I will stand by what I said, and I know other people feel the same, they are just not strong enough to fess up to it. I won't sit there and break down crying and apologizing to you because I don't feel bad. You're not the same. I truly feel like you're trying to be something you're not. Where did jeans-and-T-shirts, never-smokes-weed Courtney go? The Courtney I was friends with, that I knew and loved, and so many people knew and loved, is gone now. It's like I told you...when you and Wes broke up, you decided you don't need me anymore, because I was there for you so much and then when you guys broke up, you stopped talking to me as much. And everything became Jade Jade Jade. Well duh I know you guys are like best friends but it was like you kicked me to the curb when you didn't need me anymore, and I'm just like fuuuuck that, I don't care anymore. It bothered me at first and now I'm like whatever.
And don't worry, you won't need Ally's password to read this one.