(no subject)
A guy walks into the local welfare office, marches straight up to the
counter and says, "Hi... You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really
rather have a job."
The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is excellent. We
just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a
chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive
around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes. Because of
the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort her on
her overseas holiday trips. You'll have a two-bedroom apartment above the
garage. The starting salary is $200,000 a year".
The guy says, "You're kiddin' me!"
The social worker says, "Yeah, well, you started it."
A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he
reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. Suddenly she just
stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was
looking at two spiders mating.
"Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked. "They're
mating,"her father replied. " What do you call the spider on top, Daddy?"
she asked. "That's a Daddy Long legs." Her father answered.
"So, the other one is Mommy Long legs?" the little girl asked. "No," her
father replied. "Both of them are Daddy Long legs." The little girl
thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped them flat and said, "
Well, it might be OK in California, New York or Massachusetts but we're not
having any of that shit in Texas."
counter and says, "Hi... You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really
rather have a job."
The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is excellent. We
just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a
chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive
around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes. Because of
the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort her on
her overseas holiday trips. You'll have a two-bedroom apartment above the
garage. The starting salary is $200,000 a year".
The guy says, "You're kiddin' me!"
The social worker says, "Yeah, well, you started it."
A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he
reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. Suddenly she just
stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was
looking at two spiders mating.
"Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked. "They're
mating,"her father replied. " What do you call the spider on top, Daddy?"
she asked. "That's a Daddy Long legs." Her father answered.
"So, the other one is Mommy Long legs?" the little girl asked. "No," her
father replied. "Both of them are Daddy Long legs." The little girl
thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped them flat and said, "
Well, it might be OK in California, New York or Massachusetts but we're not
having any of that shit in Texas."