*Be who you are*Say how you feel*Those who mind don't matter*Those who matter don't mind*
Life is good to me, for the most part. I have an awesome family, the best friends anyone could ask for, a roof over my head, and money in the bank. What more could a girl ask for? No, for real. I'm actually happy. I forgot how it felt to be happy for awhile. When I hung out with Crystal, we had so much fun together, we didn't care what anyone thought. We did what we wanted to do as long as we were having fun, we didn't care. Then, we stopped hanging out and, idk...it's like, I started caring too much again. Kefentse was always on my mind. I thought that I could never love again, blahblahblah...I mean, I'll always love that kid. There's nothing in this world that can change that. I do miss him. But, I don't miss him in the 'I want to be with him more than anything' way. I miss him in the friendship way. He was always so easy to talk to. I could tell him that I killed someone, but he wouldn't judge me. He'd look at the situation and tell me what I did wrong and how I could make it better in the future. He always had an open way of looking at things. I think that's what attracted me to David, too. He didn't care. He 'cared' about me, or so he said he did, and didn't care if I made mistakes. Nobody is perfect. It took me awhile, but I realized that I don't have to be perfect. I used to stride for perfection. I did everything right in school. I didn't get in trouble and was a part of almost every school activity. I thought that's what I was supposed to do. When Lewis and I were talking Sunday, I said that I wish I wasn't so uptight in high school. He said, "It's funny, I wish I was more like you in high school and you probably wish you were more like me." Which isn't true. I didn't want to be a stoner/partier...I jes wish that I was more relaxed and had a better time. I didn't have time to relax because I was always busy and stressing myself out. I don't do that anymore. I'm proud of myself :) YAY ME
Ugh...Kefentse is talking to me online. He started talking to me, wow...that was a shocker. But, he's telling me not to call him. Which is so gay. He called me Saturday nite to talk, when I was getting ready to go out, actually I was already out. The Sunday while I was looking for the keys to the truck and on my way to Sherwood to get them from Crystal. I kept losing service on my phone, plus it was late and dark and there were deer everywhere. I almost hit a bunch because I was paying too much attention to my phone instead of the road. He said he didn't want to make a habit of it. I jes want to catch up on everything that's happened in the past few months. I haven't talked to him since he left Olivet to go home. I guess he got his license finally. Last time we really talked before he left, we talked for like 3 hours. It was awesome. I jes miss talking to him. It doesn't have to be an emotional wreck thing. I'm not like that over him anymore. I mean, if he asked me to go back to him, I would in a heartbeat. But, it's not like I can't live without him or anything like that, ya know? idk...whatever I guess. He jes signed off, didn't say bye or anything. what an ass, haha. Oh well. I have to try to not let him bother me anymore. It's hard. You can never forget a first love. Especially someone like him. Yeah...so anyways...
I didn't take a nap today :) *Yay*Me* Usually, I come home from work and take a nap. I took Crystal dinner, we had Subway. Then I dropped off my loan application to my dad for him to fill out his cosigner stuff. Oh yeah. I guess I completely blew up my engine. So, now instead of rebuilding it with a block, we have to put a brand new one in. That'll set me back a little bit more. The engine will be like $1500, plus labor. So, I dunno if I'll be able to pay Olivet the money I owe them. Someday I'll pay them back. yeah...I came home after going to Dad's and hung out with Mikey and Lewis. They were making fun of me because I was watching EXTREME MAKEOVER HOME EDITION I love that show! It always makes me cry!! It jes gives me a warm fuzzy feeling, ya know. idk...i'm dumb I guess. Good thing they left before the end because I got really teary-eyed. haha. But, yeah...that was my exciting day. Work was gay, like always...but, yeah. I guess I'm gunna clean up a little bit around the house and then go to bed. peace*
Ugh...Kefentse is talking to me online. He started talking to me, wow...that was a shocker. But, he's telling me not to call him. Which is so gay. He called me Saturday nite to talk, when I was getting ready to go out, actually I was already out. The Sunday while I was looking for the keys to the truck and on my way to Sherwood to get them from Crystal. I kept losing service on my phone, plus it was late and dark and there were deer everywhere. I almost hit a bunch because I was paying too much attention to my phone instead of the road. He said he didn't want to make a habit of it. I jes want to catch up on everything that's happened in the past few months. I haven't talked to him since he left Olivet to go home. I guess he got his license finally. Last time we really talked before he left, we talked for like 3 hours. It was awesome. I jes miss talking to him. It doesn't have to be an emotional wreck thing. I'm not like that over him anymore. I mean, if he asked me to go back to him, I would in a heartbeat. But, it's not like I can't live without him or anything like that, ya know? idk...whatever I guess. He jes signed off, didn't say bye or anything. what an ass, haha. Oh well. I have to try to not let him bother me anymore. It's hard. You can never forget a first love. Especially someone like him. Yeah...so anyways...
I didn't take a nap today :) *Yay*Me* Usually, I come home from work and take a nap. I took Crystal dinner, we had Subway. Then I dropped off my loan application to my dad for him to fill out his cosigner stuff. Oh yeah. I guess I completely blew up my engine. So, now instead of rebuilding it with a block, we have to put a brand new one in. That'll set me back a little bit more. The engine will be like $1500, plus labor. So, I dunno if I'll be able to pay Olivet the money I owe them. Someday I'll pay them back. yeah...I came home after going to Dad's and hung out with Mikey and Lewis. They were making fun of me because I was watching EXTREME MAKEOVER HOME EDITION I love that show! It always makes me cry!! It jes gives me a warm fuzzy feeling, ya know. idk...i'm dumb I guess. Good thing they left before the end because I got really teary-eyed. haha. But, yeah...that was my exciting day. Work was gay, like always...but, yeah. I guess I'm gunna clean up a little bit around the house and then go to bed. peace*