(no subject)
as if growing up isn't hard enough.
so literally about 10 minutes ago, my brother just left the house. he had his normal every day, shorts & a tee-shirt on, but as he was walking down the stairs, he had a duffel bag..not a normal "i'm going to sleep at a friends after work" - type bag, no. an army duffel, as in leaving for military college. hey, it wouldn't be as bad if he was staying on the east coast, as in he is a jersey boy, but no. he's going to new mexico. half way across the country. now as i'm sitting on the couch, holding my cat, he came back inside after bringing his stuff out to the car. he grabbed his ipod off the table, and then walked into the family room where i was sitting. he put his ipod down on the table, and automatically i stood up. then he hugged me, and that's what started me off. i felt my eyes burning with tears, knowing this was the last time i was going to see my brother for atleast 4 months, the last time i could talk to him for 21 days. i couldn't let him see that i was crying; i didn't want to upset him, or make his last image of me crying. so i faught back my tears, until we let go of our brother-sister embrace, he picked up his ipod, and walked through the back door, stopping to pet the cat that was following him anxiously. and then the tears clouded my eyes, and i felt them sting my cheeks the entire way down, and my heart felt a little emptier, and my stomach a little fuzzier.
and as for now i'll go back to bed, or attempt to - try to think that he'll be home from school soon enough. but hell, 4 months without my brother, who's never been gone for more then 2 weeks at a time is going to seem like 4 years.
so literally about 10 minutes ago, my brother just left the house. he had his normal every day, shorts & a tee-shirt on, but as he was walking down the stairs, he had a duffel bag..not a normal "i'm going to sleep at a friends after work" - type bag, no. an army duffel, as in leaving for military college. hey, it wouldn't be as bad if he was staying on the east coast, as in he is a jersey boy, but no. he's going to new mexico. half way across the country. now as i'm sitting on the couch, holding my cat, he came back inside after bringing his stuff out to the car. he grabbed his ipod off the table, and then walked into the family room where i was sitting. he put his ipod down on the table, and automatically i stood up. then he hugged me, and that's what started me off. i felt my eyes burning with tears, knowing this was the last time i was going to see my brother for atleast 4 months, the last time i could talk to him for 21 days. i couldn't let him see that i was crying; i didn't want to upset him, or make his last image of me crying. so i faught back my tears, until we let go of our brother-sister embrace, he picked up his ipod, and walked through the back door, stopping to pet the cat that was following him anxiously. and then the tears clouded my eyes, and i felt them sting my cheeks the entire way down, and my heart felt a little emptier, and my stomach a little fuzzier.
and as for now i'll go back to bed, or attempt to - try to think that he'll be home from school soon enough. but hell, 4 months without my brother, who's never been gone for more then 2 weeks at a time is going to seem like 4 years.