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Usually...When I do something stupid....And mess up really bad.... The next morning I can be my usual self and just act stupid how I always do....But last night....I kept having dreams about her and waking up....Being mad at myself....Then eventually falling back asleep.....When I finally got up....I was really sad.....And mad....At myself.....Everytime I think of how stupid I was....And how I betrayed her trust....I want to just breakdown and cry......And I have a couple of times....I wish I could take it all back.....But I cant....Its out there and now I have to live with the results of my stupidity.... I think from now on though.....I may just keep to myself from now on.....I never have anything relavant to say to anybody.....Nobody gains from anything I say....I need to just start workin out.....Nobody wants a fat guy anyway......Or a weak guy.....I might need to change my whole personality around....They say that girls want a sinsitive guy.....But do they really? Maybe I should be that tough guy....I could drop jazz band and go to football.......I want to play anyway....Then after that I could play basketball....And I could just work out a whole lot more if I dont drop.....Stop bein the nice guy.....Stop bein the "friend"....Stop tryin to help people all the time....Tryin to help is what got me in this in the first place.....None of the girls I like seem to like me....So maybe I should just change me....I doubt anybody would miss this me....I have stupid jokes to tell all the time......I'm immature all the time.......I'm sure my friends are tired of me complaining about my problems to them...I cant help anybody anyway....So if I cant help them....Why should they help me? They shouldnt....I have great friends.....And I dont deserve to be their friend.....Wow...I have a lot to think about....And possibly a lot to change.....Is this goodbye to the me everybody knows? Possibly.....I woulndt count it out......
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Yea...Having smart friends is very important..... Having friends that are willing to tell you how stupid you are being is very important. Talkin with those friends if very important. And all of that crap up there.....Is just a big stinkin load of crap! Thank you for helpin me realize that Christie. You rock!
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Yea...Having smart friends is very important..... Having friends that are willing to tell you how stupid you are being is very important. Talkin with those friends if very important. And all of that crap up there.....Is just a big stinkin load of crap! Thank you for helpin me realize that Christie. You rock!