Sore from head to toe.
I worked out today with Carmela and Yuri. I was nervous the whole time because I am not used to exercising around anyone, especially ripped men in gym shorts. I am very proud of myself for going though. It's been awhile since I've gone and it needed to be done. I seriously have a long way to go before I can consider myself healthy. I think having friends to go with is my biggest motivator and I couldn't do it with out them -- at least not yet. My arms shake when I pick something up now, which is hilarious! Even when I was talking on my cell phone my arm was shaking like a leaf. My weakness amuses me.
About the secret thing I mentioned last entry, it is better now. I still feel guilt and angry with myself but the overwhelming anxiety has subsided, for now. I am still being vague for a reason, it's just too personal for me to divulge any information. Cryptic as usual.
I sense a little reprieve in school this week, but I know it's just my imagination. I know that I have to start writing a paper that's due a week from today. I also know that I have a quiz tomorrow and a test the next week as well. Maybe I just want to pretend it's going prettily.
Tomorrow is my last session with Margaret. I think I'm ready. I've really been dreading going to our appointments these last few times. I just feel like I have nothing more to say and that I sound like an idiot if left to talk on and on. I really have learned a lot - I am definitely ready.
I am extremely tired and feel like just taking a nice hot shower, listening to soothing music, and burning several, amazingly yummy candles. But no, I have to study first.
I will write again soon.
Oh, by the way... is this font size better? I thought maybe the size of my last billion posts was a little too small. I like small font though. Let me know your opinion.
About the secret thing I mentioned last entry, it is better now. I still feel guilt and angry with myself but the overwhelming anxiety has subsided, for now. I am still being vague for a reason, it's just too personal for me to divulge any information. Cryptic as usual.
I sense a little reprieve in school this week, but I know it's just my imagination. I know that I have to start writing a paper that's due a week from today. I also know that I have a quiz tomorrow and a test the next week as well. Maybe I just want to pretend it's going prettily.
Tomorrow is my last session with Margaret. I think I'm ready. I've really been dreading going to our appointments these last few times. I just feel like I have nothing more to say and that I sound like an idiot if left to talk on and on. I really have learned a lot - I am definitely ready.
I am extremely tired and feel like just taking a nice hot shower, listening to soothing music, and burning several, amazingly yummy candles. But no, I have to study first.
I will write again soon.
Oh, by the way... is this font size better? I thought maybe the size of my last billion posts was a little too small. I like small font though. Let me know your opinion.