Everyone knows.
I made it through. I think because I decided to lay it at His feet and not worry so much, I succeeded. Somehow, I got everything done and didn't stress out too much. I managed to do everything well. That horrible period is over now. I'm in finals week and feel a bit less stressed, but still a bit on edge. I might lose my 4.0.
I got my two graded speeches back from each of my teachers and both said the same thing "you're lacking confidence," "you should be more confident!" I find it amazing, actually. I thought I was being confident; I thought I was giving it all, as much as I could; I thought my lack of confidence wouldn't show through my public speaking front. I feel like I've been found out. "That's right Shaye, we know. Now fix it." For months now, okay well years, I have been working on my self-esteem issues and confidence problems. There have been days where I walked out of the door feeling as confident as the crew of the Titanic on the first day of sailing. There have also been days where I didn't want anyone to look at me because I felt so ugly, stupid, or gross. These issues have been part of the reason I haven't been able to make friends quickly, the reason behind why I can't approach someone or start the first conversation. These past few months have been somewhat of a reformation for me, at least in a reformation in progress. I have been attending things I thought would help me out...but are they? I'm hoping so... no, I know they are. It's just going to take some more effort on my part. I really need to start thinking about what was said outside of it, in my spare time. I need to start writing more and figure out just where I am. (By the way, gosh it feels good to be writing like this.)
Christmas is just right around the corner. It came so quickly. I imagine myself minding my own business and suddenly turning my head slightly and "oh my god!" there it is, Christmas. I'm in need of Christmas spirit. I've been too down in the dumps lately.
Like today, I found myself tearing up over... stupid, but...also important things. I'm not sure if I would cry about it if it wasn't... that time of the month though.
Anywho. I have two finals left. God, please let me ace them. I need that. I need to go out with a bang. Will all my hard work be in vain?
I saw Across the Universe on Monday. Great film, very artsy and touching. There were some unnecessary things in the movie, but I guess that's always the case. I would recommend it anyway. Amazing music. The Beatles never cease to amaze me and the actors/singers were great.
I realize I'm being random now and I blame that on the time and my unwillingness to get any deeper tonight, so goodnight!
Because the world is round, it turns me on...
Because the wind is high, it blows my mind...
Love is old, love is new
Love is old, love is you
Because the sky is blue, it makes me cry
I got my two graded speeches back from each of my teachers and both said the same thing "you're lacking confidence," "you should be more confident!" I find it amazing, actually. I thought I was being confident; I thought I was giving it all, as much as I could; I thought my lack of confidence wouldn't show through my public speaking front. I feel like I've been found out. "That's right Shaye, we know. Now fix it." For months now, okay well years, I have been working on my self-esteem issues and confidence problems. There have been days where I walked out of the door feeling as confident as the crew of the Titanic on the first day of sailing. There have also been days where I didn't want anyone to look at me because I felt so ugly, stupid, or gross. These issues have been part of the reason I haven't been able to make friends quickly, the reason behind why I can't approach someone or start the first conversation. These past few months have been somewhat of a reformation for me, at least in a reformation in progress. I have been attending things I thought would help me out...but are they? I'm hoping so... no, I know they are. It's just going to take some more effort on my part. I really need to start thinking about what was said outside of it, in my spare time. I need to start writing more and figure out just where I am. (By the way, gosh it feels good to be writing like this.)
Christmas is just right around the corner. It came so quickly. I imagine myself minding my own business and suddenly turning my head slightly and "oh my god!" there it is, Christmas. I'm in need of Christmas spirit. I've been too down in the dumps lately.
Like today, I found myself tearing up over... stupid, but...also important things. I'm not sure if I would cry about it if it wasn't... that time of the month though.
Anywho. I have two finals left. God, please let me ace them. I need that. I need to go out with a bang. Will all my hard work be in vain?
I saw Across the Universe on Monday. Great film, very artsy and touching. There were some unnecessary things in the movie, but I guess that's always the case. I would recommend it anyway. Amazing music. The Beatles never cease to amaze me and the actors/singers were great.
I realize I'm being random now and I blame that on the time and my unwillingness to get any deeper tonight, so goodnight!
Because the world is round, it turns me on...
Because the wind is high, it blows my mind...
Love is old, love is new
Love is old, love is you
Because the sky is blue, it makes me cry