(no subject)
9.11.01 was by far the worst day of my life.
9.11.05 wasn't much better.
i don't want to talk about it right now.
maybe later. maybe tomorrow. maybe never.
or maybe just a little bit...i'm not getting into everything. i guess i just wanted to grieve in peace. but they wouldn't give me that. as soon as i got to the wtc site i was crying. and then there were those awful protestors. that guy that was yelling things to a small crowd and all of a sudden i was screaming and crying and going off on him. i don't even remember what i said at first, but i kept shouting "leave this day alone" over and over until a plainclothes cop gently grabbed me by the shoulders and led me away to calm me down. and a nice lady hugged me until i stopped crying. reporters were there trying to interview me. i answered maybe one or two questions and broke down again so i waved them off. i called my dad and left soon after that. going alone was not a good idea...i just feel like i violently pulled off a scab that never really healed. and now i'm just bleeding and bleeding and i don't know if the pain will ever stop. right now i really just feel so hopeless...it's almost as bad as right after it happened. i hope i don't need therapy again...
it just kills me to know that this country is so torn apart even in the face of such awful tragedies like 9/11 and hurricane katrina. honestly, are our stances on issues so important that we can't even attempt a compromise, that we let such petty things create such a deep and bitter divide between families, friends, fellow citizens? can't we all just try even just a little bit to get over ourselves just enough to try and work together every day and not just when the something awful has happened? this country is great because of many reasons, we shouldn't let that just fade away. how can we?
i'm a wreck. i'm exhausted. i have so much to do tomorrow. it was good to be home, but i didn't want to leave my mother. i just want to be near her so bad right now. and i miss my daddy terribly. he comes home on sunday...
9/11/01.
WE WILL NEVER FORGET
9.11.05 wasn't much better.
i don't want to talk about it right now.
maybe later. maybe tomorrow. maybe never.
or maybe just a little bit...i'm not getting into everything. i guess i just wanted to grieve in peace. but they wouldn't give me that. as soon as i got to the wtc site i was crying. and then there were those awful protestors. that guy that was yelling things to a small crowd and all of a sudden i was screaming and crying and going off on him. i don't even remember what i said at first, but i kept shouting "leave this day alone" over and over until a plainclothes cop gently grabbed me by the shoulders and led me away to calm me down. and a nice lady hugged me until i stopped crying. reporters were there trying to interview me. i answered maybe one or two questions and broke down again so i waved them off. i called my dad and left soon after that. going alone was not a good idea...i just feel like i violently pulled off a scab that never really healed. and now i'm just bleeding and bleeding and i don't know if the pain will ever stop. right now i really just feel so hopeless...it's almost as bad as right after it happened. i hope i don't need therapy again...
it just kills me to know that this country is so torn apart even in the face of such awful tragedies like 9/11 and hurricane katrina. honestly, are our stances on issues so important that we can't even attempt a compromise, that we let such petty things create such a deep and bitter divide between families, friends, fellow citizens? can't we all just try even just a little bit to get over ourselves just enough to try and work together every day and not just when the something awful has happened? this country is great because of many reasons, we shouldn't let that just fade away. how can we?
i'm a wreck. i'm exhausted. i have so much to do tomorrow. it was good to be home, but i didn't want to leave my mother. i just want to be near her so bad right now. and i miss my daddy terribly. he comes home on sunday...
9/11/01.
WE WILL NEVER FORGET