(no subject)
I don't mean for it not to sound like a big deal. I don't know what it should sound like. Perhaps it should sound like nothing because it isn't real. They already looked into this they said no thats not it. All the bad stuff was ruled out and you can't just rule it back in.
Duh. I don't care what they say. It's not tumors. Why would it be? And even if it is. I won't die from it. There's tons of harmless tumors right. And if for some reason it's not harmless I won't die anyway because I won't. I'll die when I decide it's okay. That's how it should be. We decide. Sure.
Shawn, Ryan, Grandma. They should've decided when.
I figured out that the only okay time to cry is in the shower. Then there's no make up to run, no one to see you. Plus it just mixes with the water and washes away.
I keep getting that bad feeling like my heart wants to explode. I get that when I want to do something but don't know what. Fuck I want to rewind the last year and just do more. Call her and write her and all that. Go back when she went into the hospital. Say good bye.
i don't even care about anything anymore. fuck
i'm homesick and i'm at my house. i don't know where i want to be.
Duh. I don't care what they say. It's not tumors. Why would it be? And even if it is. I won't die from it. There's tons of harmless tumors right. And if for some reason it's not harmless I won't die anyway because I won't. I'll die when I decide it's okay. That's how it should be. We decide. Sure.
Shawn, Ryan, Grandma. They should've decided when.
I figured out that the only okay time to cry is in the shower. Then there's no make up to run, no one to see you. Plus it just mixes with the water and washes away.
I keep getting that bad feeling like my heart wants to explode. I get that when I want to do something but don't know what. Fuck I want to rewind the last year and just do more. Call her and write her and all that. Go back when she went into the hospital. Say good bye.
i don't even care about anything anymore. fuck
i'm homesick and i'm at my house. i don't know where i want to be.