It certainly has been a while.
Sometimes, when you're feeling kinda low, the only way to cheer yourself up is to write it down, or tell someone. So here goes with the update on my exciting life.
Work
I suppose i can't really complain about work right now. Its actually going OK for a change. I've been moved off checkouts and, I'm now in amdin, which thus far has been quite fun. Seems easy and straight forward enough. Other than that, work @ Morrisons is fairly uneventful. I'm desperately in need of some excitment in the work department. But hey, how exciting can supermarket work get? Meh!
I suppose in the same section, I can put IKEA. Technically, its college, but, technically its work.. Meh.. IKEA is a good laugh, good fun too. just wish I was getting paid for it. As it nears the holidays, tommorow is my last day before the new year. Kinda hard to push myself out knowing I don't get paid for any of this. But, hey, I guess it's gotta be done. *shrugs*. Don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying it, but, I feel kinda sad that as its part of a college course, we don't get paid for workplacement days. Free labour. Meh.. Ach well, could be worse. Some of the others don't have such good times on theres. But, i'd rather be in bed.
Well, I guess that covers work.. lets move on to the next exciting part of my life at the minute...
College
Hmmmm.... College is OK... Still enjoying it enough to keep going, but, if I'm honest, I'm slightly bored. Many factors just telling me that it isn't going to be worth it. Basically because, regardless of If i finish this HND or not, i'm not going to get into the course that I really want (business at strathclyde), because
" I regret your qualifications fall too far short of our entry standards for any application to be given sympathetic consideration." - Sandra Branney of Strathclyde Business School
The fact that i have the drive and commitment to want to do the course means nothing to them! I mean, why do these establishments not believe in second chances? Sure, I fucked up 5th and 6th, but, I had lots going on in my life at that time, a lot that I couldn't change. Fuck, if everything had stayed nice and normal during that time, I woulda been sitting with about 6 fucking highers! But, alas, just cos a bit of paper says I'm a dumbass that isn't capeable of doing thier course, I guess that makes me a dumbass that can't do thier course! I don't want to go to Cali to do the course that my HND will lead into, I wanted to do something a bit broader! it was ONLY if i coulda went to strathclyde that I would have been bothered with more years of study, but as it stands I really can't be fucked to study any more. I just wanna get out there and earn money, and start living. Sure Uni probably would be the better option in the longer term, but, I just dont see myself pushing myself to do a course that I really don't really want to do. So, I think over Christmas I'm going to give myself time to stand back and plan what I really want to do. I am one step closer to reaching my dream of being a Paramedic though, as I am doing driving lessons again. Thios time I'll get them finished...
But I digress.
Anyway, everything at college otherwise is ok. managing to meet deadlines and stuff, so, bleh...
Home
What can I say, well done mum. Things are fantastic.
Love Life
Ach, I'm fed up in this respect now.
I spent most my day psyching myself up to ask someone if they wanted to do something, or for thier number or whatever, but, meh.. "Sorry, I'm not into that at the moment.." is what i got from her. I felt crushed. All this encouragement of "oh just go for it", and stuff, , just goes to show, its not worth trying actually. AnybodyI've asked, has been taken or has knocked me back like today. I can't actually remember much about what happened to day, apart from the fact that it was basically a no. She said something like "I'm sorry i'm not into that at the moment....That sounds horrible.. Sorry.. I don't mean it like that"... it was something like that the answer, but, meh. It was still a no.
It annoys me that, after all the getting urself in a mental state to do it, it just comes crashing down around you in a matter of seconds. Thier either taken, or saying no.. MEH!
So, I'm giving up now. No point in trying if you allready know the answer! And then, comes the people who say "don't go looking for it, it'll find you".. Thats a load of guff. 9 out of 10 times the guys are expected to do the running.. So screw that idea. And secondly, theres people that suggest "oh you gotta go to the pub/dancing/etc and you might find sum1". The bottom line is, I don't drink often at all, and due to circumstances, that those close to me will understand, i still feel really uncomfortable in settings with alcohol around me. I feel, that I'd be projecting an image of someone I'm not should i fake it and go to the dancing or something. And, I doubt you'd get a proper relationship on the go at the dancing, it'd be one of those you'd never see them again affairs, or something. So screw that idea.
Yeah, its a good idea in theory, but, I'm a totally different person to that.. *sigh* gonna have to conceed that I aint meant for girls! lol...
oh well, that sums up whats going on in my life at the moment, If i remember anything else i need to update you all on, i'll punch up another post.
All the best
Luv all you guys
x
Work
I suppose i can't really complain about work right now. Its actually going OK for a change. I've been moved off checkouts and, I'm now in amdin, which thus far has been quite fun. Seems easy and straight forward enough. Other than that, work @ Morrisons is fairly uneventful. I'm desperately in need of some excitment in the work department. But hey, how exciting can supermarket work get? Meh!
I suppose in the same section, I can put IKEA. Technically, its college, but, technically its work.. Meh.. IKEA is a good laugh, good fun too. just wish I was getting paid for it. As it nears the holidays, tommorow is my last day before the new year. Kinda hard to push myself out knowing I don't get paid for any of this. But, hey, I guess it's gotta be done. *shrugs*. Don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying it, but, I feel kinda sad that as its part of a college course, we don't get paid for workplacement days. Free labour. Meh.. Ach well, could be worse. Some of the others don't have such good times on theres. But, i'd rather be in bed.
Well, I guess that covers work.. lets move on to the next exciting part of my life at the minute...
College
Hmmmm.... College is OK... Still enjoying it enough to keep going, but, if I'm honest, I'm slightly bored. Many factors just telling me that it isn't going to be worth it. Basically because, regardless of If i finish this HND or not, i'm not going to get into the course that I really want (business at strathclyde), because
" I regret your qualifications fall too far short of our entry standards for any application to be given sympathetic consideration." - Sandra Branney of Strathclyde Business School
The fact that i have the drive and commitment to want to do the course means nothing to them! I mean, why do these establishments not believe in second chances? Sure, I fucked up 5th and 6th, but, I had lots going on in my life at that time, a lot that I couldn't change. Fuck, if everything had stayed nice and normal during that time, I woulda been sitting with about 6 fucking highers! But, alas, just cos a bit of paper says I'm a dumbass that isn't capeable of doing thier course, I guess that makes me a dumbass that can't do thier course! I don't want to go to Cali to do the course that my HND will lead into, I wanted to do something a bit broader! it was ONLY if i coulda went to strathclyde that I would have been bothered with more years of study, but as it stands I really can't be fucked to study any more. I just wanna get out there and earn money, and start living. Sure Uni probably would be the better option in the longer term, but, I just dont see myself pushing myself to do a course that I really don't really want to do. So, I think over Christmas I'm going to give myself time to stand back and plan what I really want to do. I am one step closer to reaching my dream of being a Paramedic though, as I am doing driving lessons again. Thios time I'll get them finished...
But I digress.
Anyway, everything at college otherwise is ok. managing to meet deadlines and stuff, so, bleh...
Home
What can I say, well done mum. Things are fantastic.
Love Life
Ach, I'm fed up in this respect now.
I spent most my day psyching myself up to ask someone if they wanted to do something, or for thier number or whatever, but, meh.. "Sorry, I'm not into that at the moment.." is what i got from her. I felt crushed. All this encouragement of "oh just go for it", and stuff, , just goes to show, its not worth trying actually. AnybodyI've asked, has been taken or has knocked me back like today. I can't actually remember much about what happened to day, apart from the fact that it was basically a no. She said something like "I'm sorry i'm not into that at the moment....That sounds horrible.. Sorry.. I don't mean it like that"... it was something like that the answer, but, meh. It was still a no.
It annoys me that, after all the getting urself in a mental state to do it, it just comes crashing down around you in a matter of seconds. Thier either taken, or saying no.. MEH!
So, I'm giving up now. No point in trying if you allready know the answer! And then, comes the people who say "don't go looking for it, it'll find you".. Thats a load of guff. 9 out of 10 times the guys are expected to do the running.. So screw that idea. And secondly, theres people that suggest "oh you gotta go to the pub/dancing/etc and you might find sum1". The bottom line is, I don't drink often at all, and due to circumstances, that those close to me will understand, i still feel really uncomfortable in settings with alcohol around me. I feel, that I'd be projecting an image of someone I'm not should i fake it and go to the dancing or something. And, I doubt you'd get a proper relationship on the go at the dancing, it'd be one of those you'd never see them again affairs, or something. So screw that idea.
Yeah, its a good idea in theory, but, I'm a totally different person to that.. *sigh* gonna have to conceed that I aint meant for girls! lol...
oh well, that sums up whats going on in my life at the moment, If i remember anything else i need to update you all on, i'll punch up another post.
All the best
Luv all you guys
x