(no subject)
So it's Christmas Eve, wow. I'm excited and not excited at the same time. I'm glad tomorrow is Christmas because I love Christmas, but this year is just different.
Especially today. Every year since I've been old enough to remember, we have Christmas Eve at one of my half sisters houses and exchange presents and I get to see all my sisters, nieces and nephews, and dad all at the same time. I look forward to it every year, it's always meant so much to me. But it has started getting different for a few years now. Amanda stopped going (except a couple times) a few years ago because no one gets along with her and she doesn't feel welcome. Then the whole drama and divorce with my sister Kathy happened so that was kind of awkward since she kind of secludes herself from everyone. But today, I'm not going because I don't feel welcome. All because of one stupid little mistake that people can't get over. I don't want to go somewhere and be around people who talk badly about me. Plus Roxanne won't even be up from Atlanta. So it's just all not the same and it's hard for me to think it's Christmas Eve today because for once, I'm doing nothing.
I don't feel like it's Christmas without Christmas Eve, snow, and a tree of course. The bad thing is this year, I've only got one of those three, which is snow. My mom was waiting till last minute to put the tree up then the other day said "there's no use doing it now". All of this makes me upset because this is my FAVORITE time of year, and my favorite holiday and I look forward to everything and it's not the same.
I really just can't wait until 2004 is over.
Especially today. Every year since I've been old enough to remember, we have Christmas Eve at one of my half sisters houses and exchange presents and I get to see all my sisters, nieces and nephews, and dad all at the same time. I look forward to it every year, it's always meant so much to me. But it has started getting different for a few years now. Amanda stopped going (except a couple times) a few years ago because no one gets along with her and she doesn't feel welcome. Then the whole drama and divorce with my sister Kathy happened so that was kind of awkward since she kind of secludes herself from everyone. But today, I'm not going because I don't feel welcome. All because of one stupid little mistake that people can't get over. I don't want to go somewhere and be around people who talk badly about me. Plus Roxanne won't even be up from Atlanta. So it's just all not the same and it's hard for me to think it's Christmas Eve today because for once, I'm doing nothing.
I don't feel like it's Christmas without Christmas Eve, snow, and a tree of course. The bad thing is this year, I've only got one of those three, which is snow. My mom was waiting till last minute to put the tree up then the other day said "there's no use doing it now". All of this makes me upset because this is my FAVORITE time of year, and my favorite holiday and I look forward to everything and it's not the same.
I really just can't wait until 2004 is over.