still thinking
Ok i'm still thinking...
I love Aj so much. But i really don't know what happend. I don't. I miss hanging out with him like we used to. We never hang out anymore. We used to talk all the time and on the phone sometimes too. But now.. Never ever. I hate it. And then to top it off we kept always getting in fights. I mean all the time over the stupidest things. But ya we solved that problem.. How? By not talking... Ya.. Great way of solving it huh?... It meakes me so sad. I miss him. I miss how it used to be. I feel like.. i don't know. I feel like we only talk when we really need to.. or when i'm having a really bad day and i finnally call him or IM him to talk to him about it. And ya we talk about ita nd he makes me feel better like he always does. And then i think things will get better. But.. they don't. And now i'm mad at him because him and Bryce were being stupid and IMed me and i don't know it was just gay. It pissed me off. I just don't know. Sometimes i feel like i wanna be with him. It's scary. Ah. And i feel like.. he just doesn't care anymore. Like he could care less that we don't talk anymore or don't han gout.. or that it isn't like it used to be. It makes me want to cry. And we say that we are getting married. And when i said that i was serious. I mean i really do wanna marry him. Lol.. i think? i mean he's like.. i don't know. But every day i see that slipping away more and more. Even though we still say "Ya we're still getting married!". I really don't know. I think ahfdljfak I don't know. Well this is weird. ok bye