(no subject)
After a while...
After a while you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn that love doesn't mean possession
and company doesn't mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of an adult not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build your roads today
because tomorrows ground is too uncertain for plans
and futures have ways of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
that you really are strong
and you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn...
~ Veronica A. Shoffstall ~
I copied that from someone that added me had on thier profile, because
I want to remember it later, and I'm at school, in journalism right now.
I wasn't sure before, If I was really ready to leave hs, being 17 by 2 months,
ready for college. on top of part time work. but, I'm a junior and 16, and I work part time,
and actually, I used to do over 30 hours a week up until 2 weeks ago, when I switched my sked
because my grades were dipping, and a need a 2.5 to graduate early,
and I need to grad early, to be able to go to massage therapy school, so I can work as a massage therapist
part time, while going to school for what I really want, my professional certificate in photography.
so, it's domino's and I need every step to get where I want to be,
so, when other people in my grad class are graduating in 2010, I'll be on my way to my certificate,
already in school in Cali, or NY.
Last period in gym, we had a relaxation period- and I kept thinking about Brad, and I kept thinking about Kevin,
and the thoughts kept coming, listing the people who've left. not in a sense of me, feeling malice r negative at all towards
any of them, just, in a childish sense, this fear, that everyone will leave-
and I, I miss them More once they've left, that I did at all when they were with me,
so what does that say? it just seems unhealthy, so, I need to let them go.
and I, the girl who always thought weddings were awkward, and kissing was something to be done
behind closed doors, and- seen myself being 50 years old, a depressed artist, just, living and experiancing
life on my own. and now, recently I have allowed myself no denying, that I want to, some day be apart of a family.
My sister, I see myself in her. I told her I 'd never leave her. rocked her and sang "you are my sunshine"
she cried because she didnt want me to leave her. Her and my mom are now in a shelter, and I'm supposed
to forget where it is, as a safety percausion. so I've decided to see her every weekend. every friday after school I'll drive
2 hour away to see her, take her to museums, take her to Niabi, get her involved with other kids and make sure she feels
a sense of community, of family. Saturdays will be show days, because I book bands for local venues. and also, I work saturdays too.
Sundays, I do free photography. like, this weekend:
friday, today I'm working 5 hours, then going to go to bed. tomorrow, I'm going to get up early, get Chloe and take her to the Figge art museum with Aki and her niece, Mara. Then, get groceries at the vegan place in DP, Greatest Grains, then come to Clinton to go to a show at Galaxy, and then head to Prom, to do photos for the school newspaper. then, to home, and bed! and then Sunday, dad and I are going to go to church, and then it's band practice time, and then, then it's time to d Brittany Moss's senior photos.
I'M MOVING TO DAVENPORT IN DECEMBER. :)
I know it's far away, but everyone has thier form of escape.
some kids drink, do drugs, whatever. I think about the future,
and make lists when I get excited.
well, I need to text a few people about the show for May 9th, because we have 10 bands playing.
it's 10$ to get in, all ages, and starts at 4pm at Sin City. please come!!
After a while you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn that love doesn't mean possession
and company doesn't mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of an adult not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build your roads today
because tomorrows ground is too uncertain for plans
and futures have ways of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
that you really are strong
and you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn...
~ Veronica A. Shoffstall ~
I copied that from someone that added me had on thier profile, because
I want to remember it later, and I'm at school, in journalism right now.
I wasn't sure before, If I was really ready to leave hs, being 17 by 2 months,
ready for college. on top of part time work. but, I'm a junior and 16, and I work part time,
and actually, I used to do over 30 hours a week up until 2 weeks ago, when I switched my sked
because my grades were dipping, and a need a 2.5 to graduate early,
and I need to grad early, to be able to go to massage therapy school, so I can work as a massage therapist
part time, while going to school for what I really want, my professional certificate in photography.
so, it's domino's and I need every step to get where I want to be,
so, when other people in my grad class are graduating in 2010, I'll be on my way to my certificate,
already in school in Cali, or NY.
Last period in gym, we had a relaxation period- and I kept thinking about Brad, and I kept thinking about Kevin,
and the thoughts kept coming, listing the people who've left. not in a sense of me, feeling malice r negative at all towards
any of them, just, in a childish sense, this fear, that everyone will leave-
and I, I miss them More once they've left, that I did at all when they were with me,
so what does that say? it just seems unhealthy, so, I need to let them go.
and I, the girl who always thought weddings were awkward, and kissing was something to be done
behind closed doors, and- seen myself being 50 years old, a depressed artist, just, living and experiancing
life on my own. and now, recently I have allowed myself no denying, that I want to, some day be apart of a family.
My sister, I see myself in her. I told her I 'd never leave her. rocked her and sang "you are my sunshine"
she cried because she didnt want me to leave her. Her and my mom are now in a shelter, and I'm supposed
to forget where it is, as a safety percausion. so I've decided to see her every weekend. every friday after school I'll drive
2 hour away to see her, take her to museums, take her to Niabi, get her involved with other kids and make sure she feels
a sense of community, of family. Saturdays will be show days, because I book bands for local venues. and also, I work saturdays too.
Sundays, I do free photography. like, this weekend:
friday, today I'm working 5 hours, then going to go to bed. tomorrow, I'm going to get up early, get Chloe and take her to the Figge art museum with Aki and her niece, Mara. Then, get groceries at the vegan place in DP, Greatest Grains, then come to Clinton to go to a show at Galaxy, and then head to Prom, to do photos for the school newspaper. then, to home, and bed! and then Sunday, dad and I are going to go to church, and then it's band practice time, and then, then it's time to d Brittany Moss's senior photos.
I'M MOVING TO DAVENPORT IN DECEMBER. :)
I know it's far away, but everyone has thier form of escape.
some kids drink, do drugs, whatever. I think about the future,
and make lists when I get excited.
well, I need to text a few people about the show for May 9th, because we have 10 bands playing.
it's 10$ to get in, all ages, and starts at 4pm at Sin City. please come!!