(no subject)
My camera and I
have been bonding a lot
due to the projects from Flickr that
Brooke and I took on this year.
I love photography.
can never be lonely with a camera,
can take it to another state and
drive around, then park and go out
shoot photos for hours, before anyone
knows you even left town. amazing.
Don't do things for me
that are for my own good, okay?
I can handle myself and my emotions.
and I do just fine.
Brad's pushing me away for My own good.
it just upsets me that things have to be like this.
I lead a simple life, and so far it's going well.
It's getting better everyday and I'd love
to share that with someone.
For the past week or so
everything's been really possitive.
even the things that outrightetly suck.
school is school, things are more finalized
with my graduating early. I chose my 5 classes
for senior year, this past week.
Sociology, Psychology, Gym,
AP art studio and some other..
fill in the space kind of class.
I've been texting a lot neat people lately,
especially this one kid named Kevin. :]
We have a date next Sunday,
I'm nervous/excited.
Bryce and I had a somewhat ''deep''
(in comparison to a lot of convos lately.)
talk in my car last night about love,
because I said I don't see the point of
relationships when they all end the same.
He said that they sent a man to the moon,
expecting nothing more than that he go and
come back, they did the same thing the second
time around too.
You learn more about that person
when you're with them, you learn more
about yourself by being with someone.
I don't know.
But this is my last year here
and I don't want to leave it and
have nothing to have left behind.
Maybe,
it's possible,
maybe,
it's fair,
to love more than one person
deeply in your lifetime.
(that's what we all want, just one.)
Instead of wearing my heart on my sleeve,
sent it to the sky, should I love openly?
I guess we'll see, guess I'll try.
If we avoid the reason why people are
with other people (greed, we get lonely.)
and love another person, giving them
the upperhand, it seems wise to keep on
trying. because if I'm worn and I'm torn
when I'm old, atleast I'll know it's not
because I lived selfishly.
Right now
I get up to do photography.
Right now
I stay up for my friends.
Right now
life is going well,
and this is as complicated
as it has to be.
Love the life you live
and live the life you love.
If I could do any one thing
in the world right now,
I'd sit down with Brad and
have a talk,
anything,
everything.
Dad was right
when he mentioned boys,
and how complicated things
could be one day.
It's fair for me to say
I don't know what I'm doing,
even if I pretend I do.
whatever happens,
we have today, we have our
lives, we have our future.
We have nothing to hold on to
but ourselves.
I messed up going to Davenport
with Ateo, Danicka, Chels and meeting
Kevin S. there. :/ Cause I fell asleep
after school and woke up too late.
but tonight, we're watching movies
at Aleisha's, Chels, Aki, Christian,
David, the other David, some kids,
and Deviath, and Trip, and Danicka,
Ateo, and the other members of
StillChyld.
girls night's out,
band practice is in;
I'm stoked for no sleep
and coffee, and being around
people who care if I wake up
or not. It's just gonna be a great
night. It's been awhile since I felt
wanted.
have been bonding a lot
due to the projects from Flickr that
Brooke and I took on this year.
I love photography.
can never be lonely with a camera,
can take it to another state and
drive around, then park and go out
shoot photos for hours, before anyone
knows you even left town. amazing.
Don't do things for me
that are for my own good, okay?
I can handle myself and my emotions.
and I do just fine.
Brad's pushing me away for My own good.
it just upsets me that things have to be like this.
I lead a simple life, and so far it's going well.
It's getting better everyday and I'd love
to share that with someone.
For the past week or so
everything's been really possitive.
even the things that outrightetly suck.
school is school, things are more finalized
with my graduating early. I chose my 5 classes
for senior year, this past week.
Sociology, Psychology, Gym,
AP art studio and some other..
fill in the space kind of class.
I've been texting a lot neat people lately,
especially this one kid named Kevin. :]
We have a date next Sunday,
I'm nervous/excited.
Bryce and I had a somewhat ''deep''
(in comparison to a lot of convos lately.)
talk in my car last night about love,
because I said I don't see the point of
relationships when they all end the same.
He said that they sent a man to the moon,
expecting nothing more than that he go and
come back, they did the same thing the second
time around too.
You learn more about that person
when you're with them, you learn more
about yourself by being with someone.
I don't know.
But this is my last year here
and I don't want to leave it and
have nothing to have left behind.
Maybe,
it's possible,
maybe,
it's fair,
to love more than one person
deeply in your lifetime.
(that's what we all want, just one.)
Instead of wearing my heart on my sleeve,
sent it to the sky, should I love openly?
I guess we'll see, guess I'll try.
If we avoid the reason why people are
with other people (greed, we get lonely.)
and love another person, giving them
the upperhand, it seems wise to keep on
trying. because if I'm worn and I'm torn
when I'm old, atleast I'll know it's not
because I lived selfishly.
Right now
I get up to do photography.
Right now
I stay up for my friends.
Right now
life is going well,
and this is as complicated
as it has to be.
Love the life you live
and live the life you love.
If I could do any one thing
in the world right now,
I'd sit down with Brad and
have a talk,
anything,
everything.
Dad was right
when he mentioned boys,
and how complicated things
could be one day.
It's fair for me to say
I don't know what I'm doing,
even if I pretend I do.
whatever happens,
we have today, we have our
lives, we have our future.
We have nothing to hold on to
but ourselves.
I messed up going to Davenport
with Ateo, Danicka, Chels and meeting
Kevin S. there. :/ Cause I fell asleep
after school and woke up too late.
but tonight, we're watching movies
at Aleisha's, Chels, Aki, Christian,
David, the other David, some kids,
and Deviath, and Trip, and Danicka,
Ateo, and the other members of
StillChyld.
girls night's out,
band practice is in;
I'm stoked for no sleep
and coffee, and being around
people who care if I wake up
or not. It's just gonna be a great
night. It's been awhile since I felt
wanted.