(no subject)

[xbrittanylinnx]

I havent felt this alone in a long time.

I'm the girl that goes to shows
and slips out without anyone knowing
unless they need a ride.
I'm the girl who goes to movies alone
and enjoys them because she's used to
that being her company.
I'm the girl who runs to the bathroom at school
to hold her breath so the anxiety goes away,
the same girl who ditches class when
her friend has a problem,
they know she'll be there.
I'm the girl who wants to lay in bed
all newyears eve, 'cause it's cozy,
but goes to a party because her friend
doesnt want to be alone.
the girl who makes her friend promise
to not cut anymore, then goes and does it
herself.

I'm someone that people wouldnt notice
if I left for awhile, not until they needed something.
A ride, advise or a shoulder to cry on.

Chelsea's sleeping on the couch,
Spiderman the cartoon is on
keeping me company.
And I
feel so alone tonight.
And I
am letting go of the things
that keep me here,
keep me from dissociating.
the things I balance my needs on;
because I dont want to need.
Because I am temperary here,
because I dont matter.