honesty comes in spurts.
I had a rough first two weeks here. I felt lost, extremely insignificant, out of place...many other related feelings. I'm beginning to feel more at home and more like I belong.
I went to a church last night that was terrified to attend. I had this vision of it in my mind and it was huge and full of trendy people who were too cool for anything but themselves. But, as I made my way in (twenty minutes late) I saw no more than twenty five people. I resorted to sitting behind everyone else by myself and when Josh told everyone to talk to each other for a few minutes I suddenly couldn't breathe. I've become more and more socially awkward as time has passed and in this particular situation I didn't want to talk to anyone even though I desperately needed some sort of fellowship. I met some of the most friendly, beautiful people who lacked any sort of judgement. Something I need to rid myself of. It's such a small thing but God keeps reminding me over and over that He WILL provide. It's beautiful.
I feel like I have no creativity. I think that's just because I feel lazy. I haven't had much motivation to do anything and when I do I quickly discount my ideas. It's odd...there's so much inspiration around me but I can't seem to get this first photo assignment done. I'm not used to being given an actual assignment with guidelines and themes. I feel like it's extremely restricting. Clearly it is.
At least the sun isn't attacking me and it's total hoodie weather.
Come, Holy Spirit, Come.
I went to a church last night that was terrified to attend. I had this vision of it in my mind and it was huge and full of trendy people who were too cool for anything but themselves. But, as I made my way in (twenty minutes late) I saw no more than twenty five people. I resorted to sitting behind everyone else by myself and when Josh told everyone to talk to each other for a few minutes I suddenly couldn't breathe. I've become more and more socially awkward as time has passed and in this particular situation I didn't want to talk to anyone even though I desperately needed some sort of fellowship. I met some of the most friendly, beautiful people who lacked any sort of judgement. Something I need to rid myself of. It's such a small thing but God keeps reminding me over and over that He WILL provide. It's beautiful.
I feel like I have no creativity. I think that's just because I feel lazy. I haven't had much motivation to do anything and when I do I quickly discount my ideas. It's odd...there's so much inspiration around me but I can't seem to get this first photo assignment done. I'm not used to being given an actual assignment with guidelines and themes. I feel like it's extremely restricting. Clearly it is.
At least the sun isn't attacking me and it's total hoodie weather.
Come, Holy Spirit, Come.