black out your bitterness. forget your jaded bliss.
just woke up. and not even willingly either. my dad kept bitching at me. it's only 6 o'clock. pm. lol i need to just stay in tonight and sleep forever & ever. actually i think i may do so. except i think i'll invite chani over to bust a chill and just watch movies and such. you know how we do. so the last 2 nights were fun. they weren't like really really exciting or crazy but they were still fun. sunday night i guess it was hardon called me and invited me out to some party out by texas motor speedway. katie went home. me, chrissy, and chani attempted to get our asses out there. but um..somehow or another we ended up in rome. yeah..i'm not exactly sure how that one happened. maybe it was because of my horrible horrible sense of directions and receiving of directions. so for all that time and gas we spent..we turned around and went back to keller. we met daniel at jack in the box. and we went to this guy dillon's house. i didn't know him. he was pretty cool though. and he gave us beer. what a nice guy. while at dillon's i met a bunch of new people. i love meeting new people. i get bored with the same ones. i talked for a really long time with this little kid j.j. his cousin who was 21 was there. he was asking me all about what turns girls on and such. it was quite funny. so me and chani got pretty drunk. but she's a lightweight. i love her anyyyyway. they only had beer. and chrissy only drinks vodka. so she was just begging everyone for weed pretty much. haha. so then like the whole time i was there jeff was texting me asking me to come over or something..so we did. annnnd after we were there for a while chrissy and chani were begging to go. so we left. except i left my damn whistle over there. and i need it for work. hm so then we went back to dillon's. and chrissy and chani just wanted to sleep. i stayed up til 8 o'clock talking to justin and jason. because we're hardasses like that and we don't need sleep. hahah right. so then i came home and slept until forever. i had the weirdest/scariest dream throughout the entire day. i'm going to sounds like such a total freak. but i was like going down some guys pants (i don't even know who it was) and then all of a sudden he grabbed me and started to choke me then bite me. and yeah that was kind of scary. then i remember i was driving drunk. and yeah i don't remember nearly any of it anymore.
so later i woke up. like late. and chrissy called me and was like mk we're going to chili's and the movies at 8. so get ready. and that i did. me, chrissy, and liz ate at chili's. actually..chrissy ate. liz and i went anorexic. i had no money. i have about a dollar in my bank account. i'm so horrible. i spend my money as soon as i get it. it's not like i wasted it though. i bought things i needed.. lol. hmm so then we went to fossil and saw stepford wives. and that..without a doubt..was one of the worst movies i've ever seen in my entire life. wow. words cannot express. the thought of it. robot wives. wtf. so after that liz went home. or "home". lol which means she probably went to ryne's house..or one of her many many boys. it was almost midnight so chrissy and i decided to stay out all night. we weren't exactly where where we were going or what we were doing. but..we weren't going home. lol. so we went to walmart neighboorhood market. saying the grocery store would be far too simple. chrissy likes to use the whole name. lol. and we both had the biggest craving for cupcakes. the randomosity, i know right. but they didn't fucking have any cupcakes. so we settled for cookies. they cost $2.50..and i went to buy them with my card. and it was declined. i have less than $2.50 in my account. ah lol that's horrible. hm so chrissy bought them and we met up with daniel. because he said so. and we went to this guy brian's house. it was like his old house..because they were moving into a different one so it was like completely empty. but it was sooo huge. it was awesome. he showed us the entire house. the kid had a sauna in his own bathroom. lol but um kevin was there with these two skanks from decauter or whatever. they didn't seem to like me too much. and i don't know why. probably because they think their hot shit and i wasn't dressed up to say the least. so like whenever chrissy and i weren't in the room they were talking about me. i don't even know what they were saying. but i was like like dumb, dumb bitches. lol seriously. the sad part is..people have met me and received the exact same impression as i did from those girls. that kind of makes me want to go cut myself. haha but whatev.
hm then me and chrissy left to go see tony for a while. we went to aaron tucker's house. he's a really cool kid. i hadn't talked to him since like christmas break? idk. he's so nice though. so we came in the backyard and it was tony, richie, aaron, becca, and kallie. and we just sat around for a while. but tony and i weren't getting along or whatever because he kept pissing me off. by yelling out this one particular name that i don't like to hear. i have plenty of shit on him though. but enough of that. so me, aaron, chrissy, and richie went and smoked out in aaron's dad's truck..but i didn't smoke. because i'm a good girl. of course. hm and chrissy was her normal crazy high. she even broke out the glasses. haha i'm getting a picture of you next time. just the whole world can experience/view the highness that is chrissy. much love bitch. hmm so then tony got tortured by chrissy for hours and i sat downstairs listening to music with aaron and richie. omg i'm in love with this kid richie. he has the best taste in music. it's like all myyy music. i absolutely love it. there's something about boys who love music or listen to the same music as me that is just totally hawt. buuut eventually i stole aaron's bed from tony and slept for a while til they woke me up at 6 saying i had to leave. and we spent like 15 minutes trying to get chrissy to move. she was passed the fuck out. but finally i got her to leave. and i had to piss so bad so i was like mk we're stopping at kroger real quick then we can go sleep in my car on a random road. yeah, right. i went inside and came back. the car wouldn't fucking start. no joke. i was so fucked. it was 6 o'clock in the morning and i was suppose to be at chrissy's house. but i was stuck in the kroger parking lot. we waited for 2 hours. i called my house at 8 saying we went up to kroger to get breakfast and the car just wouldn't start. my dad was so mad. first off, waking him up was bad enough, right? it was early.. and he was tired as hell because he had just gotten back from germany the night before. despite how angry he was from being awoken..he came up. as he was trying to get the car to start i didn't fail to wish him a happy birthday. yeah..happy. lol ugh. so the car had to be taken to the uhh..car place? idk. i just came home and went to sleep til um..when i started writing this. i've kind of taken breaks though. i mean look how goddamn long and pointless it is. i can't write all of this meaninglessness of words in one sitting. (yeah, i kind of made that word up. so?) sooo that pretty much sums up my last 2 days i guess. today is going to be...rewind. tonight is going to be pretty uneventful and relaxing. movies need to be watched. because what else is there to do in keller? other than drugs and sex. i think i might make chani go see saved with me. juuust maybe. we'll see. my mom's going to get suspicious if i say i've gone to the movies 3 nights in a row. wouldn't you? no.
so updateness of boyness time. i must clarify. in my last entry i commented on a boy whom i didn't think i would ever want. i didn't likkkke him. i wanted him. there's a difference. but i decided that's not ever ever happening. why am i thinking about it. wow this is probably hard for anyone to totally grasp without knowing who i'm talking about. lol oh well. there's a new boy i want. it's weird. i went a long time without any real feelings for anyone whatsoever. and now i'm having these crazy desires for certain boys. i really really just always have and always will want what i can't have. that's just how i am. i think a lot of people are like that. however, a lot of people settle for what they cannnn have.. rather than push for what they don't have and really want deep down. i'm not one of those people. i just want who and what i can't have. sometimes i push for it. sometimes i do nothing about it. it depends on the extremities and circumstances. okay i'm so done talking about this. sorry for whoever wasted their time by reading this. you'd think it'd be interesting and exciting to read for how long it is. haha sorry for the disappointment. goodbye lovers. have a simply wonderful day/night. <3
so later i woke up. like late. and chrissy called me and was like mk we're going to chili's and the movies at 8. so get ready. and that i did. me, chrissy, and liz ate at chili's. actually..chrissy ate. liz and i went anorexic. i had no money. i have about a dollar in my bank account. i'm so horrible. i spend my money as soon as i get it. it's not like i wasted it though. i bought things i needed.. lol. hmm so then we went to fossil and saw stepford wives. and that..without a doubt..was one of the worst movies i've ever seen in my entire life. wow. words cannot express. the thought of it. robot wives. wtf. so after that liz went home. or "home". lol which means she probably went to ryne's house..or one of her many many boys. it was almost midnight so chrissy and i decided to stay out all night. we weren't exactly where where we were going or what we were doing. but..we weren't going home. lol. so we went to walmart neighboorhood market. saying the grocery store would be far too simple. chrissy likes to use the whole name. lol. and we both had the biggest craving for cupcakes. the randomosity, i know right. but they didn't fucking have any cupcakes. so we settled for cookies. they cost $2.50..and i went to buy them with my card. and it was declined. i have less than $2.50 in my account. ah lol that's horrible. hm so chrissy bought them and we met up with daniel. because he said so. and we went to this guy brian's house. it was like his old house..because they were moving into a different one so it was like completely empty. but it was sooo huge. it was awesome. he showed us the entire house. the kid had a sauna in his own bathroom. lol but um kevin was there with these two skanks from decauter or whatever. they didn't seem to like me too much. and i don't know why. probably because they think their hot shit and i wasn't dressed up to say the least. so like whenever chrissy and i weren't in the room they were talking about me. i don't even know what they were saying. but i was like like dumb, dumb bitches. lol seriously. the sad part is..people have met me and received the exact same impression as i did from those girls. that kind of makes me want to go cut myself. haha but whatev.
hm then me and chrissy left to go see tony for a while. we went to aaron tucker's house. he's a really cool kid. i hadn't talked to him since like christmas break? idk. he's so nice though. so we came in the backyard and it was tony, richie, aaron, becca, and kallie. and we just sat around for a while. but tony and i weren't getting along or whatever because he kept pissing me off. by yelling out this one particular name that i don't like to hear. i have plenty of shit on him though. but enough of that. so me, aaron, chrissy, and richie went and smoked out in aaron's dad's truck..but i didn't smoke. because i'm a good girl. of course. hm and chrissy was her normal crazy high. she even broke out the glasses. haha i'm getting a picture of you next time. just the whole world can experience/view the highness that is chrissy. much love bitch. hmm so then tony got tortured by chrissy for hours and i sat downstairs listening to music with aaron and richie. omg i'm in love with this kid richie. he has the best taste in music. it's like all myyy music. i absolutely love it. there's something about boys who love music or listen to the same music as me that is just totally hawt. buuut eventually i stole aaron's bed from tony and slept for a while til they woke me up at 6 saying i had to leave. and we spent like 15 minutes trying to get chrissy to move. she was passed the fuck out. but finally i got her to leave. and i had to piss so bad so i was like mk we're stopping at kroger real quick then we can go sleep in my car on a random road. yeah, right. i went inside and came back. the car wouldn't fucking start. no joke. i was so fucked. it was 6 o'clock in the morning and i was suppose to be at chrissy's house. but i was stuck in the kroger parking lot. we waited for 2 hours. i called my house at 8 saying we went up to kroger to get breakfast and the car just wouldn't start. my dad was so mad. first off, waking him up was bad enough, right? it was early.. and he was tired as hell because he had just gotten back from germany the night before. despite how angry he was from being awoken..he came up. as he was trying to get the car to start i didn't fail to wish him a happy birthday. yeah..happy. lol ugh. so the car had to be taken to the uhh..car place? idk. i just came home and went to sleep til um..when i started writing this. i've kind of taken breaks though. i mean look how goddamn long and pointless it is. i can't write all of this meaninglessness of words in one sitting. (yeah, i kind of made that word up. so?) sooo that pretty much sums up my last 2 days i guess. today is going to be...rewind. tonight is going to be pretty uneventful and relaxing. movies need to be watched. because what else is there to do in keller? other than drugs and sex. i think i might make chani go see saved with me. juuust maybe. we'll see. my mom's going to get suspicious if i say i've gone to the movies 3 nights in a row. wouldn't you? no.
so updateness of boyness time. i must clarify. in my last entry i commented on a boy whom i didn't think i would ever want. i didn't likkkke him. i wanted him. there's a difference. but i decided that's not ever ever happening. why am i thinking about it. wow this is probably hard for anyone to totally grasp without knowing who i'm talking about. lol oh well. there's a new boy i want. it's weird. i went a long time without any real feelings for anyone whatsoever. and now i'm having these crazy desires for certain boys. i really really just always have and always will want what i can't have. that's just how i am. i think a lot of people are like that. however, a lot of people settle for what they cannnn have.. rather than push for what they don't have and really want deep down. i'm not one of those people. i just want who and what i can't have. sometimes i push for it. sometimes i do nothing about it. it depends on the extremities and circumstances. okay i'm so done talking about this. sorry for whoever wasted their time by reading this. you'd think it'd be interesting and exciting to read for how long it is. haha sorry for the disappointment. goodbye lovers. have a simply wonderful day/night. <3