(no subject)
it seems like the night time is the worst time. it's when all the adventures of a new day settle down, and reality truely sinks in. it's when i'm sitting on my couch alone, realizing that no one is really here.
i really am trying to be optimitistic and look into my future as an empty canvas that i can fill with anything i want. and i know that's true, but it's just very hard to absorb at the moment.
i feel like my life is caving in around me and i just want to run out into the street and just scream. or maybe not scream and get run over by a bus. maybe then these damn faucets in my eyes will shut off and stop these tears from pouring out.
3 years of always being with someone, and now i'm thrown into the fire pit of loneliness. how did i get here, WHY did i get here? i've never been one to regret, but i do regret that stupid night. i wish i could take it back because nothing good came of it. i've been blinded by my own foolishness for too long. it's time that i woke up and realized that guys aren't what you make them out to be, they just are who they are.
i guess my conversation today was a blessing in disguise. it put things in perspective and made me realize a lot of things. you can't believe everything someone tells you. some people have their own problems that they need to deal with and you simply can't involve yourself.
orlando in two weeks. i don't think i've ever been anxious to return there, but i am this time. i need to get away from the memories that lurk around every corner. i wish i could throw my computer out the window. it leaves too much open for interpretation. it makes my heart pound in anticipation that maybe this will be the hour i'll get the attention i'm craving so badly.
life goes on, right?
"Gone is the romance that was so divine
'Tis broken and cannot be mended
You must go your way and I must go mine"
i really am trying to be optimitistic and look into my future as an empty canvas that i can fill with anything i want. and i know that's true, but it's just very hard to absorb at the moment.
i feel like my life is caving in around me and i just want to run out into the street and just scream. or maybe not scream and get run over by a bus. maybe then these damn faucets in my eyes will shut off and stop these tears from pouring out.
3 years of always being with someone, and now i'm thrown into the fire pit of loneliness. how did i get here, WHY did i get here? i've never been one to regret, but i do regret that stupid night. i wish i could take it back because nothing good came of it. i've been blinded by my own foolishness for too long. it's time that i woke up and realized that guys aren't what you make them out to be, they just are who they are.
i guess my conversation today was a blessing in disguise. it put things in perspective and made me realize a lot of things. you can't believe everything someone tells you. some people have their own problems that they need to deal with and you simply can't involve yourself.
orlando in two weeks. i don't think i've ever been anxious to return there, but i am this time. i need to get away from the memories that lurk around every corner. i wish i could throw my computer out the window. it leaves too much open for interpretation. it makes my heart pound in anticipation that maybe this will be the hour i'll get the attention i'm craving so badly.
life goes on, right?
"Gone is the romance that was so divine
'Tis broken and cannot be mended
You must go your way and I must go mine"