(no subject)
The random thoughts of Stephanie Carmen Torres:
February 12th,2005
1)I mean what I say and I say what I mean - this is both good and bad. I’m easily swayed by apologizes or explanations that I feel are meaningful. Which at times makes me seem like I have major mood swings. I will get really irritable or upset maybe even cry and then be fine. Giving someone the impression that I’m unstable. Which indeed might be the case. But in all fairness the way I think is pretty basic and without bullshit. It’s as simple as : “ well she was upset/mad, I explained myself. My explanation was logical. Now everything is better” or “she was upset/mad. She thought about the situation and realized she is at fault. She apologized and is okay now.” But there also comes a time where an apologizes become too redundant to hear it anymore. I’m not very tolerate of bullshit or mind games. I speak quite straightforwardly.
2) I’m not always right but be prepared to prove that to me. But to the same degree I have a lot of defects and am aware of what they are. If you mention them I will generally be open minded to your thoughts.
3)I think my major problem is the intensity of my reactions. I’ve been told by people that sometimes they feel like they are walking on egg shells when they talk to me. Now while not intentional or meant to be dramatic - I will cry under stress.
Random Helpful Facts about Steph:
A) I have an extremely sarcastic and playful personality. Kinda flirty sometimes
B) I pay attention to other people’s needs a lot
C)I have very little patience for people who do not help themselves.
D)When I was younger I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, and Oppositional Defiant Disorder. I don’t mention this ever and people that have met me within 2 years wouldn’t even know. This isn’t my excuse. It’s not who I am. It’s a label... I don’t do labels. I don’t believe I have most symptoms anymore. I used to cut myself just to feel that I’m alive. And though it’s cliche it’s addictive - and stupid.
E) I think I have a one-track mind when it comes to addictions. I’ve always been obsessed with something.
F) I have developed ADD but only in my late teens. I blame it mostly on the pot.
This helped.