(no subject)
well im in a really weird mood tonight so yeah.
in the past couple of days ive been thinking about it a lot. ive been doing a lot of thinking about everything tho, so things are just mixing together and coming out like a flat angel food cake, maybe. they're just thoughts and asperations i have. that word might not be right, but i like how it sounded. they are hopes and dreams. they are the things that are making me cry right now for no reason at all, but maybe just because this song is really beautiful. maybe because ive been so many places, and i know so many people, and i just feel really good. maybe because i miss old friends, and i want them back. maybe because i cant have everything i want, and i have everything ive always wanted tho. maybe because tonight i actually feel in place. i feel like ive done nothing, but accomplished everything. well heres how i feel about things...
love. i am in love. with a wonderful man. he makes me feel more special then anyone has ever. i feel like im the most loved girl in the world, ever. i dont think anyone else could love someone as much as he loves me. and i am more grateful for that then for being here, and alive. ive always wanted to be that girl, and now i am. i am the girl he dances around on clouds for. i am the girl in the songs. i am the girl walking down the beach with the boy. i never really lived before i knew you.
family. its alright. im not impressed with some people, he may not be my family but i think ive known him long enough to call him that. mike, youre a dick. i thought he was better. i thought he was done with alcohol. im really dissapointed, and i didnt think i was going to have to hate him again. but i really cant stand him like that. treatment really does work...for a while. me and my mom have been getting along latly, its nice. well, im never home when she is, and shes never home when i am. so i guess thats not getting along, its just a good schedule. i cant wait for the day we get along tho. i havent talked to my dad in about 2 weeks. i feel like i should call him, but im not going to. he cant only rely on me to have communication. he has to learn to do something sometimes too. tonya gets out of jail tonight at midnight. shes been in there 20 days, liscens violations this time. mike brought up a good point the other day. he said 'tonya says what a great relationship you guys have and blah blah blah, but does she really even know you?' hes right. we dont talk much, and if we do its about her and mikes problems. she knows my listless answers to her repetative questions about relaionships. we both have a veryyyy different view on relationships and i know that, so i try to answer them the way she feels about that. so its pretty much...whatever. id like to change that tho, i love tonya more then anything. shes my role model, even tho i dont want to be like her. but i cant help it. i think im her role model tho. i really believe that. and if im not, i hope i will be someday.
school. i love school. i went from totally hating it to loving it so much. its amazing what friends can do for a person. the first time i think i really realized i loved school was when logan and dallas talked to me in life studys. life was good after that. classes might be really boring, but its easy so i get my shit done and talk. i like the freedom we have. i like the love i get.
new friends. i cant even fathom how nice it is to make friends on your own. friends that no one else knows. your own friends. I HAVE MY OWN FRIENDS. its so nice to say. lets talk about them. kristin. oh, how i love you. probably the most bomb girl i know, youre fun and out going and so chill. ali. you are a crazy little girl, but a very awesome one at that. i got high with you, so i hope youre happy. haha, but you make me laugh. logan. i dont even know what to say, youre like me but a boy. you make me feel loved and special even sometimes. you make me laugh. its a cat, get it. HA HA. haha =]. dallas. youre such a fun guy. you make me laugh and i love classes with you. even tho i get you in shit with your gf, haha sorry about that. defanitly going to hangout out of school. mark. i could talk to you for dayzzz. you make me laugh and feel loved. youre my homie, for life. 'the theme of tonight is rolling, haha' haha god, youre great. anthony. youre a tight kid, im starting to get use to your annoyingness so its alright. im glad youre at dcals with us finally. slut.
friends. hillary. i fucking love you. you piss me off sometimes when you ignore the shit out of me, but hey you know me, ill always forgive you. even when we do nothing i love hanging out with you, youre my sister. ashley. i missed you for the 2 months we barley talked, up north was fun. we get along so well im amazed, youre a little prissy slut and im a weird ass skank. haha alright well, i get it. i love you. brandon. holy cow i miss you. i havent seen you in about 2 months now. thats really weird, we went from like hanging out 3 times a week to none. i dont like it. somehow i still feel the same about you tho, i love you. tasha. yeah idk what happened to us, its pretty gay but oh well. im sure we'll get over it. youre just a little brainwashed right now or something. but i miss the hell out of you, just so you know. mari. i miss hanging out with you. weve had some goooood ass times for sure. your party was fun, then you go shitty and yelled. but its okay haha. amy. i love you. i will always. we have this special bond (that sounds really gay) but we do. and i think you know when im talking about from. we've just been thru so many ups and downs together in such a short time, we'll always be. and we got high the other night out of the broken onie. haha. bill. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. youre my favorite person in the world and i will always love you so much. you make me laugh, and cry, and love, and hate all in one. youre so great. im always here for you. i love you. benjamin. im glad we've been hanging out the past couple weeks, its so nice to be in your presence again. you make me feel so young and careless. ill always love you. your my ground to relationships. and its a nice sturdy one. thank you. brett anthony dasovic. i saved you last because you are the best. youre my best friend. i can call you at any time of the day and talk to you or see you. its the greatest feeling. you make me feel so releived of life. and i love listening to your problems because you feel comfort in me, and that makes me feel like the most important person on earth. most people know about how i never go out unless im ready, tonight you came over and i had no makeup on. youre probably the 3rd boy to ever see me without make up. impressive. i love you, more then anything imaginary.
me. hey rene. i like you. youre so open about life. youre a good listener, and for the most part you have good imput. you care the world about other people and how they are feeling. youd sacrifice your day for any friend who needs to dump their shit on your back for a few hours, and youre cool with that. you live life. you dont have plans. you really dont have shit, but youre cool with it. because you have friends. if your life was like the earth, your friends are defanitly the lava in the middle keeping your life going. the grass is the money. you dont get sad much, and if you do all you need is a couple minutes to get you happy again. when you fight with someone you forgive them faster then i could ever imagine. well. haha. you talk shit, but who dosent. your a punk who listens to rap and wears american eagle with cutoff gloves. wtf. i love me.
in the past couple of days ive been thinking about it a lot. ive been doing a lot of thinking about everything tho, so things are just mixing together and coming out like a flat angel food cake, maybe. they're just thoughts and asperations i have. that word might not be right, but i like how it sounded. they are hopes and dreams. they are the things that are making me cry right now for no reason at all, but maybe just because this song is really beautiful. maybe because ive been so many places, and i know so many people, and i just feel really good. maybe because i miss old friends, and i want them back. maybe because i cant have everything i want, and i have everything ive always wanted tho. maybe because tonight i actually feel in place. i feel like ive done nothing, but accomplished everything. well heres how i feel about things...
love. i am in love. with a wonderful man. he makes me feel more special then anyone has ever. i feel like im the most loved girl in the world, ever. i dont think anyone else could love someone as much as he loves me. and i am more grateful for that then for being here, and alive. ive always wanted to be that girl, and now i am. i am the girl he dances around on clouds for. i am the girl in the songs. i am the girl walking down the beach with the boy. i never really lived before i knew you.
family. its alright. im not impressed with some people, he may not be my family but i think ive known him long enough to call him that. mike, youre a dick. i thought he was better. i thought he was done with alcohol. im really dissapointed, and i didnt think i was going to have to hate him again. but i really cant stand him like that. treatment really does work...for a while. me and my mom have been getting along latly, its nice. well, im never home when she is, and shes never home when i am. so i guess thats not getting along, its just a good schedule. i cant wait for the day we get along tho. i havent talked to my dad in about 2 weeks. i feel like i should call him, but im not going to. he cant only rely on me to have communication. he has to learn to do something sometimes too. tonya gets out of jail tonight at midnight. shes been in there 20 days, liscens violations this time. mike brought up a good point the other day. he said 'tonya says what a great relationship you guys have and blah blah blah, but does she really even know you?' hes right. we dont talk much, and if we do its about her and mikes problems. she knows my listless answers to her repetative questions about relaionships. we both have a veryyyy different view on relationships and i know that, so i try to answer them the way she feels about that. so its pretty much...whatever. id like to change that tho, i love tonya more then anything. shes my role model, even tho i dont want to be like her. but i cant help it. i think im her role model tho. i really believe that. and if im not, i hope i will be someday.
school. i love school. i went from totally hating it to loving it so much. its amazing what friends can do for a person. the first time i think i really realized i loved school was when logan and dallas talked to me in life studys. life was good after that. classes might be really boring, but its easy so i get my shit done and talk. i like the freedom we have. i like the love i get.
new friends. i cant even fathom how nice it is to make friends on your own. friends that no one else knows. your own friends. I HAVE MY OWN FRIENDS. its so nice to say. lets talk about them. kristin. oh, how i love you. probably the most bomb girl i know, youre fun and out going and so chill. ali. you are a crazy little girl, but a very awesome one at that. i got high with you, so i hope youre happy. haha, but you make me laugh. logan. i dont even know what to say, youre like me but a boy. you make me feel loved and special even sometimes. you make me laugh. its a cat, get it. HA HA. haha =]. dallas. youre such a fun guy. you make me laugh and i love classes with you. even tho i get you in shit with your gf, haha sorry about that. defanitly going to hangout out of school. mark. i could talk to you for dayzzz. you make me laugh and feel loved. youre my homie, for life. 'the theme of tonight is rolling, haha' haha god, youre great. anthony. youre a tight kid, im starting to get use to your annoyingness so its alright. im glad youre at dcals with us finally. slut.
friends. hillary. i fucking love you. you piss me off sometimes when you ignore the shit out of me, but hey you know me, ill always forgive you. even when we do nothing i love hanging out with you, youre my sister. ashley. i missed you for the 2 months we barley talked, up north was fun. we get along so well im amazed, youre a little prissy slut and im a weird ass skank. haha alright well, i get it. i love you. brandon. holy cow i miss you. i havent seen you in about 2 months now. thats really weird, we went from like hanging out 3 times a week to none. i dont like it. somehow i still feel the same about you tho, i love you. tasha. yeah idk what happened to us, its pretty gay but oh well. im sure we'll get over it. youre just a little brainwashed right now or something. but i miss the hell out of you, just so you know. mari. i miss hanging out with you. weve had some goooood ass times for sure. your party was fun, then you go shitty and yelled. but its okay haha. amy. i love you. i will always. we have this special bond (that sounds really gay) but we do. and i think you know when im talking about from. we've just been thru so many ups and downs together in such a short time, we'll always be. and we got high the other night out of the broken onie. haha. bill. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. youre my favorite person in the world and i will always love you so much. you make me laugh, and cry, and love, and hate all in one. youre so great. im always here for you. i love you. benjamin. im glad we've been hanging out the past couple weeks, its so nice to be in your presence again. you make me feel so young and careless. ill always love you. your my ground to relationships. and its a nice sturdy one. thank you. brett anthony dasovic. i saved you last because you are the best. youre my best friend. i can call you at any time of the day and talk to you or see you. its the greatest feeling. you make me feel so releived of life. and i love listening to your problems because you feel comfort in me, and that makes me feel like the most important person on earth. most people know about how i never go out unless im ready, tonight you came over and i had no makeup on. youre probably the 3rd boy to ever see me without make up. impressive. i love you, more then anything imaginary.
me. hey rene. i like you. youre so open about life. youre a good listener, and for the most part you have good imput. you care the world about other people and how they are feeling. youd sacrifice your day for any friend who needs to dump their shit on your back for a few hours, and youre cool with that. you live life. you dont have plans. you really dont have shit, but youre cool with it. because you have friends. if your life was like the earth, your friends are defanitly the lava in the middle keeping your life going. the grass is the money. you dont get sad much, and if you do all you need is a couple minutes to get you happy again. when you fight with someone you forgive them faster then i could ever imagine. well. haha. you talk shit, but who dosent. your a punk who listens to rap and wears american eagle with cutoff gloves. wtf. i love me.