I always believed in futures...
Sometimes, it really just hits you all at once and no matter how strong you are or how capable you are in terms of coping, your head explodes. Allow me sum up the past few months of my life:
Continued to have stomach problems, and underwent a series of time consuming, annoying (and sometimes quite intrusive) diagnostics. Just as one problem is put under control (yay modern medicine), another comes up. After experiencing a bout of excruciating pain, my doctor was prompted to run some extra blood tests, including a liver panel. When my liver enzymes are reported at 3-4 times what they should be, my doctor orders an ultrasound on my liver and surrounding areas. Just my luck, I am woken from sleep in the early morning hours on the day of the ultrasound with the same pain that prompted original testing. I go for my ultrasound, and rush immediately to the doctor to be examined. Here, he receives a call from the radiologist- I’ve got stones in my gall bladder. As if that’s not bad enough, my examination is consistent with disease of the gall bladder, and may call for it’s removal. I am sent immediately to the emergency room to have more blood tests done and a C.T scan of my abdomen. Naturally, all pain subsides on the ride to the ER. So, after a good 8 hours, 3 quarts of contrast fluid, and the gross patient next to me, my tests come back negative, and I am sent home with medication and the instructions to report immediately to the ER if symptoms reoccur so that my gall bladder may be removed. Given the history of the case, this should be in about 1 month - final exam time!
In addition to the above problem, I have other minor problems that will require me to eat even better than I do, and exercise even more than I do. It would appear that I cannot even treat myself to things I do every once and a while. Awesome.
Aside from medical crises, I have busied myself with school work, work, and (quite secretively from my friends) transfer applications. You see, I was miserable first semester, and decided to see what’s out there. I have been accepted to one really great program, and am awaiting other letters. Here inlay the issue: I’m liking school a lot more this semester, and dare I say, am even looking forward to next semester. But I can’t deny that I’ve been given and opportunity at a larger, better known school. I also don’t have the extra 30 thousand dollars a year to pay for it.
For once, I’d like things to just be normal in a sense that I’m worrying about stupid things like getting a paper in on time and still managing to make it to a party or hang out with some boy. I’d like the trivial to become heavy in a sense. I’d like to escape. Just for a moment, and be someone else. I’m 19, I shouldn’t have health problems like I do. I shouldn’t have to go home from school as much as I do, but I am required to in order to make doctor’s appointments, blood work, and other sorts of tests. I just want it to go away…
Continued to have stomach problems, and underwent a series of time consuming, annoying (and sometimes quite intrusive) diagnostics. Just as one problem is put under control (yay modern medicine), another comes up. After experiencing a bout of excruciating pain, my doctor was prompted to run some extra blood tests, including a liver panel. When my liver enzymes are reported at 3-4 times what they should be, my doctor orders an ultrasound on my liver and surrounding areas. Just my luck, I am woken from sleep in the early morning hours on the day of the ultrasound with the same pain that prompted original testing. I go for my ultrasound, and rush immediately to the doctor to be examined. Here, he receives a call from the radiologist- I’ve got stones in my gall bladder. As if that’s not bad enough, my examination is consistent with disease of the gall bladder, and may call for it’s removal. I am sent immediately to the emergency room to have more blood tests done and a C.T scan of my abdomen. Naturally, all pain subsides on the ride to the ER. So, after a good 8 hours, 3 quarts of contrast fluid, and the gross patient next to me, my tests come back negative, and I am sent home with medication and the instructions to report immediately to the ER if symptoms reoccur so that my gall bladder may be removed. Given the history of the case, this should be in about 1 month - final exam time!
In addition to the above problem, I have other minor problems that will require me to eat even better than I do, and exercise even more than I do. It would appear that I cannot even treat myself to things I do every once and a while. Awesome.
Aside from medical crises, I have busied myself with school work, work, and (quite secretively from my friends) transfer applications. You see, I was miserable first semester, and decided to see what’s out there. I have been accepted to one really great program, and am awaiting other letters. Here inlay the issue: I’m liking school a lot more this semester, and dare I say, am even looking forward to next semester. But I can’t deny that I’ve been given and opportunity at a larger, better known school. I also don’t have the extra 30 thousand dollars a year to pay for it.
For once, I’d like things to just be normal in a sense that I’m worrying about stupid things like getting a paper in on time and still managing to make it to a party or hang out with some boy. I’d like the trivial to become heavy in a sense. I’d like to escape. Just for a moment, and be someone else. I’m 19, I shouldn’t have health problems like I do. I shouldn’t have to go home from school as much as I do, but I am required to in order to make doctor’s appointments, blood work, and other sorts of tests. I just want it to go away…