I don't feel right
So I have a girlfriend now... her name is Lizz. I adore her. She's 4'11" got dark brown hair if she stopped dying it, nose, nipple, and ears pierced. Yummeh. I just stole Jesse's word. Sorry Jess. <3
So I haven't been online in a while.I'm sorry, stuff going on. Like moving, getting new cell phones. That shit. So yeah.
I've got a fic for a challenge. In H_B for the song Jump. I just finished. So check it out:
Title: Jump (If this is enough)
Author: the digs. Snoop. AKA xbloodyxrioterx
Pairing: P/D... P/D.
Fandom: Simple Plan
Disclaimer: no one was hurt in the making of this fictual piece of crapwriting. No true emotions or actions were conveyed unless hereby out of coincidence.Do not try to re-inact at home
Summary: So why have my eyes locked on brown ones, deep with hurt and concern?
Author's Note: Sorry it took me so long o.O I had to think of how I was going to write it. <3 to Jesse for helping me with the idea a bit. Many <3333333333.
I don’t wanna wake up today
Cuz everyday’s the same
And I’ve been waiting so long for things to change
I’m sick of this town, sick of my job,
Sick of my friends cause everyone’s jaded
Sick of this place, I wanna break free,
I’m so frustrated
I just wanna jump
I whimpered softly, lying with my back to the doorway, wondering how everything screwed up. My friends couldn’t see reality; that it was alright to be gay, that it wasn’t sick and wrong. So I’m sitting here, in my bunk, curtain pulled shut, and all my friends jaded, thinking that I was gross and sick and shit like that. They don’t even count me as a person anymore. They’ve known for only a few days, and they all fell silent when I told them. Then they would start in, making hints that they didn’t like it. They would tell me to stop hitting on them, or at least, Sebastien did.
My job was going spiffy… until they all found out I was gay and wanted Pierre-or most of them, anyway… So now all the fans avoid me, calling out names like ‘fag’ except for a few random ones that smile and wave, and pat me on the back, telling me good luck and that they still love me. They get me through everyday. That and Pierre. He’s the quiet one. He gives little half-smiles to me when I see him. You can’t tell me you can’t love a guy for doing that for you, even if he doesn’t like the fact that you’re gay.
I’m sick of this bus, literally. I’ve thrown up five times. But that’s not it. The tension and uneasiness on the bus is thick enough to cut with a knife, trust me, Jeff tried to lighten things up after I spilled and made a whole joke… nobody laughed. But you can’t be mad at a guy for trying, can you? Jeff said one thing, only because we both knew it was true. I wish that people weren’t so stubborn on the fine details and could just like a person for who they were.
But everyday since I told them, it’s been the same: everybody tosses glares and dirty looks my way, as if hoping that I’ll come around and tell them it was only a joke and that I really am straight and they can stop acting like that. I don’t want to wake up anymore, seeing as this life is being hell. I’m waiting for the tension to break, hoping they will slowly come to terms with it, but realizing that I’m really actually alone now. I hate how everything lately gets on people’s nerves, making me glare back and get so pissed off that I cry myself to sleep.
Don’t want to think about tomorrow
I just don’t care tonight
I just wanna jump
Don’t wanna think about my sorrow
Let’s go
Forget your problems
I just wanna jump
I don’t wanna wake up one day
And find out it’s too late
To do all the things I wanna do
So I’m gonna pack up my bags,
I’m never coming back
‘Cuz the years are passing by
And I’m wasting all my time
So tonight, I’m not going to bother with crying myself to sleep. No, I’m going to pack up all my shit and go somewhere else. Somewhere I’m wanted, like home: because they love me no matter what. I’ve always been close to my sister, maybe she could take me in for a little while. I decided to put all my stuff together and call a cab. None of the guys know, they’re at the bar down the street drinking. They didn’t even ask me if I wanted to go. They probably figured I’d get drunk and hit on them, or some guy and then get them all kicked out or some shit like that.
So the cab beeped the horn, I was waiting at the door of the tour bus. I gathered my bags and put them in the trunk, just about to climb in when I hear Jeff’s voice. I don’t need this; I could be else where, doing other things more worth my time. Jeff runs up, holding the cab door open and climbing in. He talks to me. He tells me to stay. He tells me the guys don’t mean anything. I tell him he only wanted to keep the fame. He tells me he could care less. He tells me that he cares about Pierre’s feelings. I ask him what Pierre has to do with this. He tells me Pierre loves me. I glare. I tell him to get out and go back. I tell him to stop lying to me. He says he’s not. He leaves. I tell the taxi driver to just go, get me out of this place.
We speed to the airport, I walked in with my bags, buying a plane ticket to the next flight to Montreal. I sit, sprawled out in a waiting room chair, eyeing my bags and the ticket, finally staring at the runway, just thinking. Do I really want to leave? What if Jeff was telling me the truth? What if Pierre really did love me, like Jeff said he did? What if I went back and he said something, or did something about it? What if he didn’t? That’s probably what would happen. He probably doesn’t give a fuck.
Jeff probably made it all up to get me to change my mind. So why are my hands finding the handles to my bags? He probably wants to keep me there because it would mean less money to get a new bassist. So why are my legs picking me up and carrying me towards the exit? He probably just wants all the publicity that I drew in with my coming out that way he can get his name out there and possibly get girls. So why have my eyes locked on brown ones, deep with hurt and concern? He probably only wants me to stay because we have a show: tonight. So why have I dropped all my bags when he walks up? He probably just wanted me to stay because it would hassle them all too much to have me go missing. So why has his arms slipped around my waist, pulling me close and pressing his soft lips to mine? I don’t even want to begin to think of what will happen tomorrow because of this…
I’m sick of this house, sick of being broke,
Sick of this town that’s bringing me down
I’m sick of this place, I wanna break free
I’m so frustrated
I just wanna jump
I can’t take it anymore
Forget tomorrow
I just wanna jump
I give in, my hands finding his strong arms, holding them, pressing my chest to his as I kiss back, tangling our tongues together in a desperate need for the other. Now I know Jeff didn’t lie. Now I know Jeff didn’t want me there because it would make everything better. Now I know that there is no way I could leave the band. Now I know why he smiled all those times. Now I know he loves me. Now I know Pierre could be mine, if I tried. Now I know I think too much.
We break apart when the need for air becomes apparent; I look into those brown eyes again. Now they’re caring, filled with love and passion. I almost moan, but know that would be inappropriate, panting slightly, still in his arms. I once again begin to wonder what this will do to the guys. I wonder if Pierre was just doing it to play a joke on me. I wonder if these are his true feelings. If they aren’t, he’s a good actor. He has me convinced that he loves me. Tears form, rolling down my cheeks in a steady stream. Maybe I will be crying myself to sleep tonight. But maybe it’s a good thing, tonight. Maybe I’ll be lying in his arms. Maybe we will have to cram ourselves into the small bunk space and not make a sound, but it will be worth it. I know I don’t care what the other guys think anymore, as long as I have Pierre.
Don’t wanna think about tomorrow
I just don’t care tonight
I just wanna jump
Don’t wanna think about my sorrow
Let’s go
Forget your problems
It’s time to let them go
Forget tomorrow
I just wanna jump
So I haven't been online in a while.I'm sorry, stuff going on. Like moving, getting new cell phones. That shit. So yeah.
I've got a fic for a challenge. In H_B for the song Jump. I just finished. So check it out:
Title: Jump (If this is enough)
Author: the digs. Snoop. AKA xbloodyxrioterx
Pairing: P/D... P/D.
Fandom: Simple Plan
Disclaimer: no one was hurt in the making of this fictual piece of crapwriting. No true emotions or actions were conveyed unless hereby out of coincidence.Do not try to re-inact at home
Summary: So why have my eyes locked on brown ones, deep with hurt and concern?
Author's Note: Sorry it took me so long o.O I had to think of how I was going to write it. <3 to Jesse for helping me with the idea a bit. Many <3333333333.
I don’t wanna wake up today
Cuz everyday’s the same
And I’ve been waiting so long for things to change
I’m sick of this town, sick of my job,
Sick of my friends cause everyone’s jaded
Sick of this place, I wanna break free,
I’m so frustrated
I just wanna jump
I whimpered softly, lying with my back to the doorway, wondering how everything screwed up. My friends couldn’t see reality; that it was alright to be gay, that it wasn’t sick and wrong. So I’m sitting here, in my bunk, curtain pulled shut, and all my friends jaded, thinking that I was gross and sick and shit like that. They don’t even count me as a person anymore. They’ve known for only a few days, and they all fell silent when I told them. Then they would start in, making hints that they didn’t like it. They would tell me to stop hitting on them, or at least, Sebastien did.
My job was going spiffy… until they all found out I was gay and wanted Pierre-or most of them, anyway… So now all the fans avoid me, calling out names like ‘fag’ except for a few random ones that smile and wave, and pat me on the back, telling me good luck and that they still love me. They get me through everyday. That and Pierre. He’s the quiet one. He gives little half-smiles to me when I see him. You can’t tell me you can’t love a guy for doing that for you, even if he doesn’t like the fact that you’re gay.
I’m sick of this bus, literally. I’ve thrown up five times. But that’s not it. The tension and uneasiness on the bus is thick enough to cut with a knife, trust me, Jeff tried to lighten things up after I spilled and made a whole joke… nobody laughed. But you can’t be mad at a guy for trying, can you? Jeff said one thing, only because we both knew it was true. I wish that people weren’t so stubborn on the fine details and could just like a person for who they were.
But everyday since I told them, it’s been the same: everybody tosses glares and dirty looks my way, as if hoping that I’ll come around and tell them it was only a joke and that I really am straight and they can stop acting like that. I don’t want to wake up anymore, seeing as this life is being hell. I’m waiting for the tension to break, hoping they will slowly come to terms with it, but realizing that I’m really actually alone now. I hate how everything lately gets on people’s nerves, making me glare back and get so pissed off that I cry myself to sleep.
Don’t want to think about tomorrow
I just don’t care tonight
I just wanna jump
Don’t wanna think about my sorrow
Let’s go
Forget your problems
I just wanna jump
I don’t wanna wake up one day
And find out it’s too late
To do all the things I wanna do
So I’m gonna pack up my bags,
I’m never coming back
‘Cuz the years are passing by
And I’m wasting all my time
So tonight, I’m not going to bother with crying myself to sleep. No, I’m going to pack up all my shit and go somewhere else. Somewhere I’m wanted, like home: because they love me no matter what. I’ve always been close to my sister, maybe she could take me in for a little while. I decided to put all my stuff together and call a cab. None of the guys know, they’re at the bar down the street drinking. They didn’t even ask me if I wanted to go. They probably figured I’d get drunk and hit on them, or some guy and then get them all kicked out or some shit like that.
So the cab beeped the horn, I was waiting at the door of the tour bus. I gathered my bags and put them in the trunk, just about to climb in when I hear Jeff’s voice. I don’t need this; I could be else where, doing other things more worth my time. Jeff runs up, holding the cab door open and climbing in. He talks to me. He tells me to stay. He tells me the guys don’t mean anything. I tell him he only wanted to keep the fame. He tells me he could care less. He tells me that he cares about Pierre’s feelings. I ask him what Pierre has to do with this. He tells me Pierre loves me. I glare. I tell him to get out and go back. I tell him to stop lying to me. He says he’s not. He leaves. I tell the taxi driver to just go, get me out of this place.
We speed to the airport, I walked in with my bags, buying a plane ticket to the next flight to Montreal. I sit, sprawled out in a waiting room chair, eyeing my bags and the ticket, finally staring at the runway, just thinking. Do I really want to leave? What if Jeff was telling me the truth? What if Pierre really did love me, like Jeff said he did? What if I went back and he said something, or did something about it? What if he didn’t? That’s probably what would happen. He probably doesn’t give a fuck.
Jeff probably made it all up to get me to change my mind. So why are my hands finding the handles to my bags? He probably wants to keep me there because it would mean less money to get a new bassist. So why are my legs picking me up and carrying me towards the exit? He probably just wants all the publicity that I drew in with my coming out that way he can get his name out there and possibly get girls. So why have my eyes locked on brown ones, deep with hurt and concern? He probably only wants me to stay because we have a show: tonight. So why have I dropped all my bags when he walks up? He probably just wanted me to stay because it would hassle them all too much to have me go missing. So why has his arms slipped around my waist, pulling me close and pressing his soft lips to mine? I don’t even want to begin to think of what will happen tomorrow because of this…
I’m sick of this house, sick of being broke,
Sick of this town that’s bringing me down
I’m sick of this place, I wanna break free
I’m so frustrated
I just wanna jump
I can’t take it anymore
Forget tomorrow
I just wanna jump
I give in, my hands finding his strong arms, holding them, pressing my chest to his as I kiss back, tangling our tongues together in a desperate need for the other. Now I know Jeff didn’t lie. Now I know Jeff didn’t want me there because it would make everything better. Now I know that there is no way I could leave the band. Now I know why he smiled all those times. Now I know he loves me. Now I know Pierre could be mine, if I tried. Now I know I think too much.
We break apart when the need for air becomes apparent; I look into those brown eyes again. Now they’re caring, filled with love and passion. I almost moan, but know that would be inappropriate, panting slightly, still in his arms. I once again begin to wonder what this will do to the guys. I wonder if Pierre was just doing it to play a joke on me. I wonder if these are his true feelings. If they aren’t, he’s a good actor. He has me convinced that he loves me. Tears form, rolling down my cheeks in a steady stream. Maybe I will be crying myself to sleep tonight. But maybe it’s a good thing, tonight. Maybe I’ll be lying in his arms. Maybe we will have to cram ourselves into the small bunk space and not make a sound, but it will be worth it. I know I don’t care what the other guys think anymore, as long as I have Pierre.
Don’t wanna think about tomorrow
I just don’t care tonight
I just wanna jump
Don’t wanna think about my sorrow
Let’s go
Forget your problems
It’s time to let them go
Forget tomorrow
I just wanna jump